TheNextLawyer Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Well my rather flat series of dates went quickly south... I really despise facebook as something that zaps all life out of the getting to know you process. The lass who ended up being a waste of time and money (she couldn't even kiss nicely) - well she has a main profile pic of some scruffy guy with a beard and a wide grin which never appeared really when met her. Also I had one facebook profile of hers but seemingly just the one for all her male suitors, the other one displayed her and her new beau, and man do I feel like i dropped my standards with hindsight. Perhaps being foolish I have just messaged her a list of why its not so polite to kiss with eyes open, but then she kind of deserved it for first agreeing to one potential date then backtracking, and continuing to shift and be detached from date 3 on really. I could never be with someone long term with no wish to travel either. But still quite gutting to see her with Mr Scruff, despite my attempts at objectivity and rationalising just now. I'm a competitive beast, even when I don't care that much about someone...
Author TheNextLawyer Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 Well the main thing here is I got to vent (have since calmed down) Still... if any of this chimes with you, please respond. (I do reward replies with my own in the relevant threads)
Divasu Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 You'll garner more feedback when your advice seeking questions aren't filled with insult after insult. You've painted an ugly picture of this woman, so, what is your question exactly? Aside from what appears to be, resentment towards this Mr. Scruff person.
Author TheNextLawyer Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 You'll garner more feedback when your advice seeking questions aren't filled with insult after insult. You've painted an ugly picture of this woman, so, what is your question exactly? Aside from what appears to be, resentment towards this Mr. Scruff person. Well I put a lot of effort into dressing and grooming myself, and thought it paid dividends in getting dates. But if someone has a type,a kind of indie, tumbleweed then not much I can do. I think my dry sense of humour gets lost in text translation as I do have a way of saying this stuff and being more likeable aloud. And I haven't painted anything that isn't true. She rarely asked questions, she didn't have much interest in the museums we went to, and she just seemed really flakey and needing male validation frequently. I also have dispensed my own advice or been sympathetic, so I just think that there is more at work than my own input. And a lot of the long threads are basically full of rants from both genders.
Toodaloo Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Its not very gentlemanly to go off ranting at people you hardly know. So she likes scruffy men who gives a toss? I think you would benefit from taking time to start feeling more secure in your own skin. Finding a partner is not a competition. A relationship is not a competition. If you go into it like that you will end up with some trophy broad who does nothing other than look good in pictures and makes you feel poo about yourself... Ooops sorry - thats already happened. Stop. Think about the qualities you would like in a partner (other than having bigger boobs than your mates girlfriends...) and then look for that person. 1
Author TheNextLawyer Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 Its not very gentlemanly to go off ranting at people you hardly know. So she likes scruffy men who gives a toss? I think you would benefit from taking time to start feeling more secure in your own skin. Finding a partner is not a competition. A relationship is not a competition. If you go into it like that you will end up with some trophy broad who does nothing other than look good in pictures and makes you feel poo about yourself... Ooops sorry - thats already happened. Stop. Think about the qualities you would like in a partner (other than having bigger boobs than your mates girlfriends...) and then look for that person. I just don't buy that at all. Of course finding a compatible partner and being good to one another isn't a competition but at the dating stage of course you have to try and be the one who gets the most respect and interest. She wasn't a trophy broad, if you mean her. She was just someone who promised a lot and ending up delivering little. I'm pretty secure in my own skin but like anyone more secure if I get on with someone. I defy anyone to get on with everyone else on the planet, and we all have our insecurities - its just human nature. And I have been single long enough to need yet another prolonged spell of personal development. I just want to be very single minded in making my points here. Doesn't mean I can't be thoughtful and patient in other settings.
Divasu Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 And I haven't painted anything that isn't true. She rarely asked questions, she didn't have much interest in the museums we went to, and she just seemed really flakey and needing male validation frequently. Well I didn't say it "wasn't true" either. I said you painted her as an overall "ugly" human being. In which case, who cares? Be glad the supposed date never happened.
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