I think he's back from traveling. Should I text him or wait for him to contact me?

[ThisisIt606]

I posted about this guy a few times but just to give a brief background. We met through a paid online dating site. He's 36 and I'm 27.

 

Over 3 weeks we went out on 5 dates initiated by him and he paid. The last 2 dates were movies and dinner at his place. His family was visiting so I briefly met his mom and brother. He mentioned mult times he liked that I'm cultured and he started a convo about music schools that his mom and I could relate to.

 

I slept over once but no sex. We only made out and "heavy petting" in his bed while watching the movie. The last night we were together before his 3 week trip he asked me to sleep over but I said no bc I had work too early. When he dropped me off and seemed sad that he wouldn't see me for awhile. First business trip across the country then visiting traveling to 2 different countries to visit friends/family.

 

He told me we could text while he was gone. I initiated texting twice. He sent me 5 pics of him and his brothers dog (he knows I love dogs) over that time. The convo flowed fine. I suggested we see a movie at this new theater and he said he'd love that.

 

I backed off on texting the next few days because even though he was responding, asking questions, and keeping convo going he didn't initiate. ( He did tell em on the 2nd date he's not a big texter and doesn't have many social media accounts). On the 5th day of no contact he texted me and seemed a little alarmed I hadn't texted and asked if everything was OK with mult "???" He said he was leaving the country that night and gave me his email to stay in touch.

 

I sent the first email a few days after and he responded the next day. I emailed back and didn't hear from him for awhile and assumed he was having wifi trouble (true). He emailed me saying:

 

Hey ___,

 

I have been having trouble with WiFi here in Italy. But while I have it for a quick minute, I wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. I believe your special day is tomorrow? Hope all your wishes come true.

 

Hope you have a great one. Will write later if/when possible.

 

Cheers,

____

 

 

I wrote back:

 

Hey ___,

 

Thanks so much for the Birthday wishes! That was really nice of you. I went out to dinner tonight with my parents and my best friend that I've known since preschool school to celebrate.

 

No worries about the wifi connection. It's always hard to get a good signal when traveling.

 

Hope your enjoying your last few days in ___ and eating lots of pasta!

 

See you when you get back.

 

(name)

 

 

I think he's back in the states now if I remember his return date correctly. I saw he was active on the dating site, so he has wifi at the very least. Should I senda text asking how his trip was/reaching out? Or wait for him to contact me? I'm not sure how to play this since he said he doesn't like texting BUT I also want to see if he's still interested/taking some initiative to see me now that he's back. I definitely would like to see him again.

[Gaeta]

If he were interested in you he'd be contacting you, not checking the dating website.

 

I know deep down you want to contact him because you don't want him to prove you he forgot about you. Still, it's better to know now than later how interested he is.

 

Do not contact him.

[snowflakes88]

If he hasn't answered that last email, I'd wait it out.

[Zahara]

I'm not sure how to play this since he said he doesn't like texting BUT I also want to see if he's still interested/taking some initiative to see me now that he's back. I definitely would like to see him again.

 

The excuses we make for these men. If he doesn't like texting, then he can pick up the phone and call you.

 

You were initiating when he was away. And you're wanting to do it again. Allow him to come to you.

[SJC2008]

A mid 30's plus who traveks and does OLD. He's looking for the girls who give up the goodies, not to settle down.

[Assasda]

He didnt have to answer your last email.

What you do,m you call him on the phone, and hang out with him.

[curlygirl40]

As much as it sucks to have to wait, you definitely need to wait.

 

Your first sign that he has wifi should not be that he's been active on a dating website. Your first sign should be that he's contacted you.

 

 

It's a bit early to tell how this will go, but definitely don't initiate right now. Mirror his actions. He contacts, you answer. He asks you out, you go. Assuming you're interested.

 

I'll repeat, your first sign that he has wifi should not be that he's active on the site. Grrrr. Red flag.

[Assasda]

As much as it sucks to have to wait, you definitely need to wait.

 

Your first sign that he has wifi should not be that he's been active on a dating website. Your first sign should be that he's contacted you.

 

 

It's a bit early to tell how this will go, but definitely don't initiate right now. Mirror his actions. He contacts, you answer. He asks you out, you go. Assuming you're interested.

 

I'll repeat, your first sign that he has wifi should not be that he's active on the site. Grrrr. Red flag.

 

hahah ayeah, red flag indeed

[Atticus9292012]

If he's still getting on the dating site than he's still looking to meet others. I was dating a guy this time last year I met on POF(probably my first mistake)...it was going amazing. I hadn't logged into the dating website for a month. I was so into this guy....why? It had been nearly 3 months at this point since we'd been dating. Logged on because I kept getting the emails so thought I'd change my account setting to inactive....well guess who was online? My guy. I was shocked because he seemed smitten....but he said all the same stuff about texting, etc. We dated for about 5 months until it became obvious he was never going to make me his girlfriend. I am not saying forget him, but don't contact him and meet others. I just ignored him getting on the website and many other strange behaviors. If he's into you he'll reach out to see you.

[ThisisIt606]

I just don't know what to make about the whole signing on the dating site. I mean, I go out out of sheer boredom sometimes. If i'm on the bus and stuck in traffic. Or I go on for amusement bc i get such ridiculous messages.

[WhatIsLove2014]

I just don't know what to make about the whole signing on the dating site. I mean, I go out out of sheer boredom sometimes. If i'm on the bus and stuck in traffic. Or I go on for amusement bc i get such ridiculous messages.

 

Its not the reason WHY he is getting on. Its just the fact that he is able to get on yet you haven't heard from him.

[ThisisIt606]

From his point of view, you were also active on the dating website. Hence, he thinks you're fishing elsewhere and he'll decide not to contact you.

 

Drop these stupid games. If you want someone, go after them. Hit him up and set something up or you can decide to be passive about it and wallow in anxiousness. It's up to you.

 

 

It crossed my mind but, it's actually pretty hard to see last time someone has been on/takes a bit of grunt work. You have to go through all your "viewed" list because it goes by the last time someone viewed you profile. The last time I viewed his profile was early september, so that's quite a few people for him to go through tohave to find me. And he doesn't seem like the type of guy to obsessively check like that.

 

He's very outgoing so i can't see him doing some "online hunting"

[ThisisIt606]

I guess what was the point of him sending me all those pictures of himself with the dog via and also offering his email address to stay in touch while he traveled out of the country?

 

It seems like lots of pointless contact if he decided he didn't want to pursue things further. Just confusing and frustrating.