BC1980 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Yesterday was an absolute nightmare. A detail I have previously not mentioned - we bought a puppy together back in August (when all was fine). I have been looking after him since she returned to uni and the plan was for him to live with us when we were moving in together next year. Obviously things have changed drastically since then. I want to hold onto the puppy and have grown very attached to him, unfortunately she has other ideas. Her new method of attack yesterday was to request to come and pick him up with her mother Friday, spend the weekend with him and drop him back Monday. As I was at work and could not be bothered with the hassle of a text argument, I called her and said she could see the dog, with the intention of telling her and her mother on Monday that it will not be happening again and that she has to say goodbye. Unfortunately that was not the only topic of conversation. She cried a lot and said she was at rock bottom, that she would like to see me again to spend some time together. She asked if I had been dating/ seeing other people. I said I had (I never like lying). She then went on a tirade, saying I was "obviously doing fine" and that she would leave me alone. She then sent a series of texts basically asking how I could be moving on so quickly and how I could manage to be dating again so soon. What on earth is up with this girl? I mean, I would never have been doing any of these things had we not have broken up a month ago. How can she have expected me to be waiting around, keeping myself to myself after what she had done?! Stop speaking with her. Do not let her see the dog. It's done and over. You are letting her affect you like this, and she is making herself out to be the victim. She has made her choice, and she must bear out the consequences. Don't make it any easier. She's basically having a tantrum because the breakup is not going her way. You know what she is doing, but you enjoy the attention on some level. I get it. It's hard to let go, but any contact with her is setting you back. She does not want to be with you, but she enjoys the attention from you. You will look back at this in a few months and be mad at yourself. 2
Author thedills05 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) Text to ex: This is the last time you will be hearing from me. I will be transferring £250 for Louis, he is settled in Shaw and it is not fair messing him around. I will post your belongings and would appreciate you doing the same. Number blocked. Text from ex's friends' number: Fine. We'll do this by text (on Sarah's phone as you've obviously blocked my number). I don't want £250, I want my dog. You have no right to make an executive decision like that. I will be there on Friday and I will be taking him for the weekend. I can't believe i have spent the last two days thinking about how to make things work with you - you are vindictive and manipulative, and it's good to see your true colours now before I decided to make a commitment to you. I hope you can spend the next few years growing up and getting less bitter, because you're only going to be able to make a relationship work when that happens. i actually feel relieved. Edited November 4, 2014 by thedills05 mistake
BC1980 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Text to ex: This is the last time you will be hearing from me. I will be transferring £250 for Louis, he is settled in Shaw and it is not fair messing him around. I will post your belongings and would appreciate you doing the same. Number blocked. Text from ex's friends' number: Fine. We'll do this by text (on Sarah's phone as you've obviously blocked my number). I don't want £250, I want my dog. You have no right to make an executive decision like that. I will be there on Friday and I will be taking him for the weekend. I can't believe i have spent the last two days thinking about how to make things work with you - you are vindictive and manipulative, and it's good to see your true colours now before I decided to make a commitment to you. I hope you can spend the next few years growing up and getting less bitter, because you're only going to be able to make a relationship work when that happens. i actually feel relieved. Don't even resound to it because it creates more drama. Considering her actions so far, her text seems unfair. I think any response will start a HE said SHE said type circular conversation. Just pointless and won't end well. Be the bigger person and refrain from any personal jabs. You will thank yourself later. 1
Author thedills05 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 It is a very unfair text. I'm am neither of those things. I really won't be replying to her and have no intention of ever speaking to her again. She hasn't been spending the last 2 days thinking about working things out with me. Perhaps if she had been thinking of me 4 weeks ago, she wouldn't have slept with that guy again. I really wish I'd done this from the start. Better late than never though.
Diezel Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 What are you going to do about the dog though? If you give it to her for the weekend, you may never see the dog again.
Author thedills05 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Realistically, her mother is not going to want to get involved with this drama, she knows the way her daughter has treated me.
BC1980 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Realistically, her mother is not going to want to get involved with this drama, she knows the way her daughter has treated me. It's possible that her guilt over her own actions have led her to lash out at you. I'm sure she knows what she did was wrong. When people know they are wrong, they go one of two ways. They overcompensate and act super nice, or they paint you to be a monster. My ex was the former. He became sickly nice and convinced himself we were friends and all was cool after the breakup. A friend of mine bumped into him last week, and he told her to tell me HI because were are still friends. It's effing unbelievable. I haven't talked to him in a year, and we parted on pretty bad terms. He reached out once, and I never responded. Don't underestimate the lengths people will go to to rewrite what happened. 1
Author thedills05 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 After initial relief at having sent a finite text to the ex yesterday I had a very sleepless night. I have woken this morning feeling very unsure about the decision. The 20x attempted phone calls and the text have got me wondering whether she truly was thinking about sorting our problems out and making a commitment. Have I made an enormous mistake or will this be a decision I will look back on and realise it was for the best?
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