lostgirl9 Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 Hi all, So my boyfriend and I have been broken up for a month or so . he ended up going to Thailand for vacation and I know he had sex with women there as he is kind of a sex addict I think. he comes back wanted me to come over and cuddle all the time and I resist until one drunken night when I was weak came over to is house and we ended up sleeping together and I cried the whole time. He didn't try to say anything just went to sleep . In the morning I thought why not try it again becasue I didn't want to end it this way and I just cried again. I felt so used. I know I did this to myself by coming over and it was a big mistake. I ended up calling my ex later on hoping for some validation but in the end he just wasnt wanting to console me much so I ended up feeling worse. I guess I ruined my chances of ever getting him back again with my stupid behavior. he will see me as a nutcase and needy. Someone please tell me that what I did was normal and tha I am not alone in this please. Is there anything I can do to repair this? Do men do these things and then not think much about how they have hurt someone ? Any help would be much appreciated. thanks
HoldOn Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 Someone please tell me that what I did was normal But to answer you quesiton... Yes, it is normal to cry during sex when your bf is a jerk who cares nothing about you or your feelings or bringing back a disease from Thailand. Sorry to be blunt. I am really really sorry that this person has captured your heart when he doesn't even deserve a moment of your time. No need to worry about embarrassing yourself around him if you never see him again (which you shouldn't).
prayformydownfall Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 i really do agree with the others, u cry because hes such a jerk and hes using u, sack him off and find somethin better, itll hurt in the short run, but in the long run you'll have a better life!! keep strong!!! PFMD
suegail Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 I'm sorry - - this guy sounds like such a total jerk. I wish you could see ahead to the future and know without a doubt that just walking away and never having any contact with this person is the very best thing you could ever do. Remember this night with him and see him in his true light - you did nothing wrong, you love this person and he took advantage of your feelings. And I wish you could see ahead to the future and know you aren't going to feel like this forever, so hurt and vulnerable. You'll get strong again; you'll forget him in time and you'll wonder what it was you were crying over. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. He deserves a good slap upside the head, but I really feel the best thing you can do is don't take his calls, don't give him the time of day, have nothing, zero, to do with this man. You're wondering if he'll be sorry he hurt you. He may be, in time, if you follow through with all the above and give him something to think about. It could be though, very well could be, that by the time he's sorry, you won't give a fig. suegail
North Shore Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I realize that the other responding posters are trying to be supportive and make you feel better but..... You got drunk and were weak one night. I can soooo relate to that. You said that he kept wanting to see you when he returned from his trip and you had resisted his repeated attempts until that point. I don't think you can really blame him for you giving in. If you feel used it's because you let yourself be used. As for crying, I can also see how that could happen. You became overwhelmed by feeling either upset at feeling used and/or because you miss him. I don't think it's safe to assume that his lack of response was meant to be cruel. It's entirely possible that he just didn't know what to do or say or even make of your behavior. How old is he?? I know guys that don't know how to deal with crying in even the most normal of circumstances. What do you mean that he didn't want to console you? Does he even understand why you were crying? Do you understand? Please don't take this to be an attack in any way. I'm simply confused by the situation. Perhaps if you were to go into more detail I might be less inclined to give him some benefit of the doubt. It does take two to tango as they say. You have to look at your own behavior as well as his. It's easy to demonize someone without much info. Maybe you should try to figure out what really had upset you and then try to address it with him again when you're less vulnerable.
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