Leilah Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Well, I finally broke up with my SO of two years, and I am extremely depressed. I told him that I felt like we were no longer in a relationship due to the fact he only bothers to get in touch once a week, and in response, he called me needy. Is it really that needy for wanting to be acknowledged more than once a week? So, I broke up with him on the spot, and he seemed completely indifferent. Is it normal to not talk to your SO more than once a week? I don’t want to throw a pity party for myself, but I feel like complete and utter ****.
Zahara Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Is it normal to not talk to your SO more than once a week? I don’t want to throw a pity party for myself, but I feel like complete and utter ****. It's not normal. Especially when you've been with someone for 2 years. You did the right thing. And the fact that he didn't even put up a fight but instead put you down for wanting more, that in itself is indication that he wasn't very invested. You're going to feel bad but that is normal. This is going to be temporary. But you existing and carrying on in a relationship that doesn't even allow basic needs and wants is indefinite pain. Stay strong. This is definitely the best thing for you, even if you don't see it now. 5
Author Leilah Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 It's not normal. Especially when you've been with someone for 2 years. You did the right thing. And the fact that he didn't even put up a fight but instead put you down for wanting more, that in itself is indication that he wasn't very invested. You're going to feel bad but that is normal. This is going to be temporary. But you existing and carrying on in a relationship that doesn't even allow basic needs and wants is indefinite pain. Stay strong. This is definitely the best thing for you, even if you don't see it now. Yeah, I'm very remorseful and regretful, and I keep questioning whether I've made a mistake or not since I did invest so much time with him. However, I literally couldn't discuss anything without him calling me needy or without him just ignoring me all together. This will take a while for me to get over, but thank you so much Zahara for responding to my posts. You've been very sweet and helpful.
somedude81 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Your relationship sounds like it was horrible. Hopefully it wasn't like that for too long. 2
mammasita Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 You did the right thing.....he sounds like a douche. Once a week? That's ridiculous. Id be upset if I didn't talk to my man every day. 1
Arieswoman Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Take heart Leilah, you had enough self-respect to get out of a so-called relationship with some guy who can't be bothered to pick up the phone more than once a week. You recognised you deserved better and you acted on it. So give yourself kudos for being smart, savvy and decisive. Of course it hurts, you were with him for a long time, so it's natural to grieve. Just concentrate on yourself now and, in time, you will fell better. Good luck and stay smart 1
Zahara Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) Yeah, I'm very remorseful and regretful, and I keep questioning whether I've made a mistake or not since I did invest so much time with him. However, I literally couldn't discuss anything without him calling me needy or without him just ignoring me all together. This will take a while for me to get over, but thank you so much Zahara for responding to my posts. You've been very sweet and helpful. You are welcome, hun. You're going to be fine. It's hard to let go when you've invested so much in someone but at some point you have to let go when you're getting nothing in return. This is when you turn it all around and invest all that love and care in yourself because you truly deserve it, not some idiot douchebag that can't and won't appreciate or value what's infront of him. Yes, it will take some time for you to get over this but as all of us that have experienced heartache, it will get better. It won't always be this way. I promise you. And as Arieswoman said, and a good point -- recognize the strength and courage you have to finally end it. That's testament that you have it in you to stay strong and keep going forward. Edited October 27, 2014 by Zahara 1
Author Leilah Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 Your relationship sounds like it was horrible. Hopefully it wasn't like that for too long. As embarrassed as I am to say this, it has been going on for at least half a year which initially led to us separating for about two months. Then when we got back together, he seemed different, but the old habits came back slowly but surely. You did the right thing.....he sounds like a douche. Once a week? That's ridiculous. Id be upset if I didn't talk to my man every day. Ah, I see. I'm glad you shared, because it makes me feel like less of a problem? I understand him not talking to me every day, but I couldn't handle once a week. Take heart Leilah, you had enough self-respect to get out of a so-called relationship with some guy who can't be bothered to pick up the phone more than once a week. You recognised you deserved better and you acted on it. So give yourself kudos for being smart, savvy and decisive. Of course it hurts, you were with him for a long time, so it's natural to grieve. Just concentrate on yourself now and, in time, you will fell better. Good luck and stay smart I'm not one to be confrontational, and therefore, I tend to let people walk all over me. So, it's something I've realized I need to improve. Thank you for your kind words though, because it is encouraging. I've already removed him from media connections so I guess today begins day one of no contact. It just hurts, knowing he couldn't care less, but it is what it is.
Author Leilah Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 You are welcome, hun. You're going to be fine. It's hard to let go when you've invested so much in someone but at some point you have to let go when you're getting nothing in return. This is when you turn it all around and invest all that love and care in yourself because you truly deserve it, not some idiot douchebag that can't and won't appreciate or value what's infront of him. Yes, it will take some time for you to get over this but as all of us that have experienced heartache, it will get better. It won't always be this way. I promise you. And as Arieswoman said, and a good point -- recognize the strength and courage you have to finally end it. That's testament that you have it in you to stay strong and keep going forward. Thank you so much! As creepy as this sounds, I want to hug you for all the kindhearted things you've said to me. Ironically, maybe I should be grateful that he gave me a head start with the bare minimum amount of contact, because it's not like anything really changed. I had the strength to end it, and let's hope I have the strength to prevent myself from crawling back. I'll just take it a day at a time. Again, thank you so much! 1
Michael 93 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 You have done the right thing. Now go and find a man who cannot imagine not speaking to the love of his life for longer than a few hours.. He is out there..And that's what you deserve. You will find him love Mike 1
EuTuBrute Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 You did the right thing. I got a second chance with my ex and the same thing happened. My ex gf didn't know how to communicate. she never called (even when we were officially daiting) and our texts messages had no depth. I felt like I had better conversations with my self. These people are not worth it. They are selfish. If you can't even meet the basic requirement of communication, there is no relationship. And no you were not needy. It's not normal for a partner to talk when they feel like it. 1
Els Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 You're not needy, you did the right thing by dumping him. Once a week?? Heck I talk to my platonic male friends more often than that... Stay strong! 1
Author Leilah Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 You have done the right thing. Now go and find a man who cannot imagine not speaking to the love of his life for longer than a few hours.. He is out there..And that's what you deserve. You will find him love Mike Well, maybe not that often! I need space as well! Haha! But it would be a lovely change for once. Thank you! You did the right thing. I got a second chance with my ex and the same thing happened. My ex gf didn't know how to communicate. she never called (even when we were officially daiting) and our texts messages had no depth. I felt like I had better conversations with my self. These people are not worth it. They are selfish. If you can't even meet the basic requirement of communication, there is no relationship. And no you were not needy. It's not normal for a partner to talk when they feel like it. I completely understand your situation, because our conversations were starting to feel that way, especially when I'd share something that I'd learned and would receive a one word response (which I absolutely loathe). I cried all of yesterday, but surprisingly, I feel somewhat relieved today. I don't have to worry about upsetting him or worry about when I would hear from him again. Now I no longer have to spend thousands of dollars to travel to his base. So, I agree that dealing with selfish people is completely exhausting. You're not needy, you did the right thing by dumping him. Once a week?? Heck I talk to my platonic male friends more often than that... Stay strong! Yeah, that was one of my arguments, and he said that he only texted his mother once a month.. Well, I haven't heard from him since we broke up, yet I'm already feeling free? Thanks for the response! So, now begins day 2 of no contact. I may keep updating this thread throughout my ordeal until I feel completely better.
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