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Girls are lazy with dating

boilingpoint

By boilingpoint
in General Relationship Discussion

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Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

Posted
Posted (edited)
Oh Frank! The 8 hr plane ride may be too much even for you! But if I am ever in NY I will be in touch!

 

I want a man to feel wanted, needed, useful and yes a bit macho. If that means that I ask him to change the tyre on my car or put up a shelf instead of doing it myself then I will ask.

 

I don't want someone that is just a sperm donor (there are special banks for that now) or some thing just to get my rocks off (there are shops for those things). I want a person who is my friend, my lover and a bit handy about the place be it fixing the internet or taking out the rubbish... It doesn't matter what just that he is someone to share all of lifes ups and downs with and not bunk off just because the hoover needs to be run round or the bills need paying...

 

Frank isn't that what we all want???

 

Ha, my ex-LDR was a 12 hour plane ride away, and I was happy to do it. It was adventurous. Physical distance this day and age means nothing really.

 

So you have the basics down as to what you want. All you need to do now is assertively express this to a guy you date. Just communicate it. Spit it out or ease it in with the conversation. But do emphasis your desire to share experiences together, to make memories. This will reinforce to a worthy guy that he will be special to you. Honestly, that's what I am a sucker for. A woman gives me genuine attention, a good conversation, basic attraction, similar interests, and I'm ready to go.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
But let's say if a guy who's really attractive happened to hit on you, you wouldn't date him since he's not the average nerdy type of guy you go for? Or would you actually prefer good looking not nerdy guys if they were available to you over average guys?

 

I would date any guy who asked me out, given he's not showing signs of mental instability. I doesn't matter what he looks like, but I'm most comfortable with average nerdy guys.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
I would date any guy who asked me out, given he's not showing signs of mental instability. I doesn't matter what he looks like, but I'm most comfortable with average nerdy guys.

 

Aren't we all a little bit crazy? :p

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
Aren't we all a little bit crazy? :p

 

You know what I mean!! :laugh:

  • Like 1
fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted

I don't know. I'm sure women have problems in dating too. It's all a matter of perspective. I'm sure if I was a better guy I'd have an easier time.

 

But I'm not, so I have to make do...

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
I would date any guy who asked me out, given he's not showing signs of mental instability. I doesn't matter what he looks like, but I'm most comfortable with average nerdy guys.

 

I've heard that story before from others. Forgive me if I'm skeptical...

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
I've heard that story before from others. Forgive me if I'm skeptical...

 

I have no reason not to accept date invitations. Why wouldn't I give a guy a shot? Date him, get to know him, see how it goes from there.

 

I've only turned down 2 guys. One because I was already dating someone, the other because he was a total sleaze about asking me.

 

guys just don't approach me so I don't even get a chance to try.

  • Like 2
fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
I have no reason not to accept date invitations. Why wouldn't I give a guy a shot? Date him, get to know him, see how it goes from there.

 

I've only turned down 2 guys. One because I was already dating someone, the other because he was a total sleaze about asking me.

 

guys just don't approach me so I don't even get a chance to try.

 

I don't know you, I don't know your life story. I'm just saying I've heard the tale before from people for whom I knew for a fact it wasn't true.

 

Perhaps you're the exception, perhaps not. I don't know...

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
Why wouldn't I give a guy a shot?

 

I could make a long list to answer this question! :laugh:

 

But I'd start with: because you can't imagine kissing him. That rules out a lot of the male gender for me. (and rules out the entire female gender...)

  • Like 3
fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted

I did come across a profile online the other day. It said: "I'm a lot of work but I'm worth it". I can't imagine a guy writing that. Even as satire.

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
I could make a long list to answer this question! :laugh:

 

But I'd start with: because you can't imagine kissing him. That rules out a lot of the male gender for me. (and rules out the entire female gender...)

 

I can't decide whether I'd kiss someone until I've spent time with them.

 

I don't have instant urges to kiss people I don't know.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
I have no reason not to accept date invitations. Why wouldn't I give a guy a shot? Date him, get to know him, see how it goes from there.

 

I've only turned down 2 guys. One because I was already dating someone, the other because he was a total sleaze about asking me.

 

guys just don't approach me so I don't even get a chance to try.

 

How was that guy being a sleaze about asking you out?

 

How do you want guys to ask you out?

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
I can't decide whether I'd kiss someone until I've spent time with them.

 

I don't have instant urges to kiss people I don't know.

 

I wouldn't date someone I don't know, so that is another potential reason to turn down a date.

  • Like 1
Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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Posted
How was that guy being a sleaze about asking you out?

 

How do you want guys to ask you out?

 

Making a comment about "getting his turn". As if I'm a carnival ride.

 

He had a reputation in the workplace. He asked out Every. Single. Female.

 

He had asked a coworker her bra size once. Within a few weeks of me turning him down he sexually harassed me and grabbed my breast out of nowhere.

 

 

I just want to be asked out politely.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
Making a comment about "getting his turn". As if I'm a carnival ride.

 

He had a reputation in the workplace. He asked out Every. Single. Female.

 

He had asked a coworker her bra size once. Within a few weeks of me turning him down he sexually harassed me and grabbed my breast out of nowhere.

 

 

I just want to be asked out politely.

 

Yup, that's sleazy.

 

I wonder if he was a bit slow in the head.

 

Hope he got fired.

 

Asking out politely is easy, but it seems some guys just can't figure it out.

  • Like 1
Goldenbrwn Member

Goldenbrwn

Posted
Posted
Why does being appreciated automatically equate to a woman being helpless?

 

Why do I need to be helpless, and NEED a man, in order to appreciate him?

 

Why do I need to rely on a man's money, rely on him to provide, rely on him to do physical things and protect me, in order to make him feel good?

 

I don't NEED anything. I'm not a damsel in distress. Im strong. But I do want love. Very much so.

 

if a man treats me well and loves me, I am over the moon appreciative about it. Why is that not enough?

 

Maybe part of the problem is men are socialized to believe that women want them for what the man can do for her. Whether that is protect her, help her in her career, pay for her, whatever. Compared to us being attracted to women because she is cute and has a warm nurturing side.

 

Things would be so much simpler if women's attraction worked the same as men.

No Limit Established Member

No Limit

Posted
Posted

Chances are that the girls who are 'too lazy' to go out dating don't even want a relationship.

Happy-Dayze Member

Happy-Dayze

Posted
Posted (edited)
Yep basically. In terms of desirability I think girls are harder to please not because of some worthy trait, but just because if they're in any way attractive the men will come to them, so therefore sex is handed to them. If girls came to me every 2 minutes, I'd no doubt be the same way with this skewed dating BS against THEM not me.

 

And it's all because chicks are almost universally passive in dating. Therefore as a guy it's a lot easier to lose confidence when all is not well in the world of sex and relationships.

 

Also chicks only seem to be able to see one side of your personality once they have their impression of what a guy is like - that's why guys have so much success going through the boring bad boy, alpha male act, which makes them look like *******s to all the other guys looking on. Once you have that persona and rapport with a girl, that's all she sees and goes after, while she remains blase about other guys who are interested. Pure BS...

 

So the solution is to keep making yourself awesome to rise above the competition - i.e. good career, muscular body, fun to be around, assertive etc etc - and all before you get too old to date.

 

And what about the girl? Just show up.

 

The injustice of it....

 

You strike me as being a young guy. Can I say when I used to date when I was younger I went into every single date thinking I needed to impress the girl. I wanted her to like me and want to date/sleep me - regardless of whether I actually even liked her. Liking her was secondary. But that is ass backwards man.

 

A bit older, wiser more experienced. I think having confidence in your own self and what you have to offer. I have just come back on the dating scene and if I go into a first date now - I am there doing recon. I am not trying to impress her I am just being myself and trying to figure out if I like her, if I find her attractive (physically and mentally - seriously you need both) to actually want to go on a second date with her. I want her to impress me dammit! First dates are a job interview and I am picky with who I recruit :) It's funny I have had the odd bad date where the girl made it known that she was bored or tired or whatever - I never called them again. Normally a week or two later I end up getting a random text from the girl. It's funny how pulling away instead of doing all the chasing makes those girls stop and go: Why didn't he call me. All the guys call me ?

 

When I was young I was always doing the chasing. I used to get frustrated every girl had a secret hot point. You felt like you had to try and crack the code on the date to figure out what it was. Some liked a gentleman - some liked the alpha dominant type - some got annoyed or excited depending on what topic you talked about. I used to try and modify my personality and what I talked about to suit the girl. That is seriously a waste of time. These days I know who I am, I know what I like and don't like and I am comfortable of my own worth. If the girl doesn't like the same things as me or appreciate that then fine. There are plenty more in the sea. And honestly guys say it is hard to get dates - I'm decent enough looking, I keep in shape, but definitely no brad pit or some model. I have a good job and make decent money but I am not filthy rich either. Most girls are more then happy to be taken to dinner if you ask them in a confident but also polite and sincere way. Guys say they always get knocked back but often this is because the way they ask is just completely horrible. They are drunk, sleazy or timid as a mouse. If you are having a friendly normal conversation with a girl and you finish it by saying - you know it was really nice meeting you. I'd love to catch up with you again some time. Are you free for dinner one night this week ? Most generally say yes. Most girls will give a normal guy a shot if he asked at an appropriate time and in an appropriate way. A lot of guys literally just can't do that simple task well .... I seriously couldn't when I was younger. I used to be pretty shy and my attempts were average.

 

Oh and PS .... what do you consider too old to date ? :p

Edited by Happy-Dayze
Negative Nancy Established Member

Negative Nancy

Posted
Posted
In dating, and in general, girls just have stuff handed to them IMO.

 

Suck it up, that's the curse of biology. Eggs are more precious than sperm and girls in their 20s ONLY have such an unlimited choice because suckers like you (and all other men from 20 to 80) are ONLY into young girls.

 

Don't worry though, the odds will change in your favor when you're in your 30s (many men confirm this).

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