boilingpoint Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Yes it’s a generalisation but it’s a true one. Any girl can scream from the rooftops that it’s not true but the FACT is that it is true generally speaking. Girls are definitely more lazy than guys with dating. Why? Because they can be. Now I know this definitely doesn’t apply to all girls - just most girls who are at least halfway attractive, not prude about sex and dateable. Why do girls get away with being quite boring to talk to? Bitchy? Uncommunicative? Lame in bed? LAME IN BED?? Even though she’s already had a host of previous relationships!? Why?? Because for her there’s always another guy around the corner so even if she screws up with the number 1 guy she likes, she’ll just get with number 2. Here’s an example of what I saw on a chick’s profile online - “Guys are like taxis - there’s a new one every 2 minutes” - no wonder dateable girls expect dateable guys to already 100% have all their **** together, at the very least emotionally. Why make the effort when there's too much to choose from? Surely this is nothing to do with the intrinsic nature of females - it’s just the abundance mentality of always having guys out there that makes you that way. If I was a chick I’d be seriously lazy. I’d just ignore most guys and screw whoever was obviously attractive in personality/looks and had made the most effort to get with me, while I focus on my career, friends, hobbies etc. So even if the dateable girl is not that great comparatively to yourself, they still get to dump you because she’ll always have at least a couple other guys trying to sleep with her, boosting her ego and making her feel like a champ. As a guy you’re not just expected to be physically attractive enough to date - girls also want you to be supremely confident, financially secure, independent, fun to be around, interesting, very good in bed...blablabla... basically someone who would be a player and ALL from the word go for her to give you a chance to get to know each other. In dating, and in general, girls just have stuff handed to them IMO.
Dallers Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 This is just one giant ranting man rage. Everything you say has a bit of merit but you are portraying everything that a woman does not want. The simple answer as a man is this... Why do you care? I walk through life thinking only about me and the woman who deserves my time. Women are different creatures to men and they know that men will pursue them so yes they do not need to make so much effort because they have a lot of choice. The difference is this: They won't get me that easily. I am the catch. I have value above all of the other guys who she will date and waste her time with... all the numerous idiots while I sit back focusing all my attention on a girl that I believe is worthy of my time. All that matters is how you see yourself. This post reeks of insecurity. Change you don't moan about them. Become the better man to get the better woman and ignore the fact that life is not fair. 8
Author boilingpoint Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 Also, forgot to say, most girls need to hit the gym.... but don't
somedude81 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 While there is a lot of hurt and anger in the opening post, there is some truth to it. “Guys are like taxis - there’s a new one every 2 minutes” A girl who is cute and friendly will have lots of guys trying to get her. Sure some of those guys will just want to hook up with her, but there will be a lot of guys who do want to date her. It would not surprise me at all if the two girls I want to date right now, have at least 5 other guys interested in them. They can just sit back and choose the guy they like best and ignore everybody else. That's power.
cdt76 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 That last part is true. I love it when they say they work out 3+ times a week, yet haven't been to the gym in 5+ years! LOL. Or they can't see you anymore because they just got out of a long relationship but were on a dating site within a week of a breakup and now they are overwhelmed but right back on the dating site after the convo. Honestly, dating is a like trying to hit a pinata blindfolded and someone is moving the target just before you swing.
carhill Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Mating is one area our inner child can come out and play. Compare the child surrounded by toys with the child whom is only given one toy to play with. Watch their behavior. The child can be either male or female. IME, guys who are surrounded by toys to play with adopt a similar attitude, essentially to value each toy less and to more easily discard the toy when bored or a more interesting toy enters the view. Women are the same way. We guys just rag on women because we're the toy being overlooked or discarded. That's all. Doing that (ragging on someone) is a choice. We don't have to do it. That's life! 3
sillyanswer Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 In dating, and in general, girls just have stuff handed to them IMO. If that's true, which it isn't really, then this alleged laziness the girls are exhibiting is the boys' fault for handing it all to them. 2
Toodaloo Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I love it when they say they work out 3+ times a week, yet haven't been to the gym in 5+ years! LOL. So going for a run doesn't count unless its on a treadmill... BP I have a solution for you. As dating girls is not working out for you how about dating guys instead. I find it works for me and I am happy to share the singles ones out there with you...! Dallers seems to have his head screwed on so how about listening to him... Again this is a post full of rage and blaming others. 2
Author boilingpoint Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 If that's true, which it isn't really, then this alleged laziness the girls are exhibiting is the boys' fault for handing it all to them. It is true and guys do hand it to them. I'd argue it's *expected* for the guy to do that so there's more inclination to do so. Mating is one area our inner child can come out and play. Compare the child surrounded by toys with the child whom is only given one toy to play with. Watch their behavior. The child can be either male or female. IME, guys who are surrounded by toys to play with adopt a similar attitude, essentially to value each toy less and to more easily discard the toy when bored or a more interesting toy enters the view. Women are the same way. We guys just rag on women because we're the toy being overlooked or discarded. That's all. Doing that (ragging on someone) is a choice. We don't have to do it. That's life! Yep, good analogy. My generalisation was just that chicks have way more of an tendency to do that because the abundance comes to them. Guys tend to appreciate a girl more because abundance isn't just handed to them. We work to get ourselves in that situation - girls get that by default.
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Perhaps the problem lies with dating girls instead of women But seriously, this entitled behavior isn't just a female thing. Attractive people, male or female, have an overall advantage in terms of opportunity and LOTS of it. That's just life. Painting ALL women or any one particular gender as being entitled and lazy is just plain ridiculous. 3
Frank2thepoint Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Here’s an example of what I saw on a chick’s profile online - “Guys are like taxis - there’s a new one every 2 minutes” - no wonder dateable girls expect dateable guys to already 100% have all their **** together, at the very least emotionally. Why make the effort when there's too much to choose from? Although it is sad there are girls that think this way, but there are boys that think this way too. A lot of online dating profiles will be junk, and easily visible to nitpick. The difficulty of online dating is finding the golden nugget. But to offer my opinion concerning this mentality, and to quote something from one of my favorite films (Big Trouble in Little China) "...we take what we want, and leave the rest, just like your salad bar." If I was a chick I’d be seriously lazy. I’d just ignore most guys and screw whoever was obviously attractive in personality/looks and had made the most effort to get with me, while I focus on my career, friends, hobbies etc. And you would become the very thing you are complaining about. 4
ComingInHot Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 BoilingPoint wrote: "Surely this is nothing to do with the intrinsic nature of females - it’s just the abundance mentality of always having guys out there that makes you that way." I know I don't count YET but your quote above?!?! I want to put you on my shoulder and have you talk like this all day. My self esteem is normal but with you, I'd become one cocky and unstoppable force of arrogance! I certainly hope it turns out that there will be a never ending selection of men flowing like honey from my cell phone to my calendar until I meet The One (#2) CiH* 4
Got it Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Most guys don't have a clue - I agree. It's actually harder to make a girl cum than it is a guy by the way. Despite this a lot of girls can't even give head properly - so take that to the bank. It is my experience. So what? My experience and the experience of a lot of other guys - I don't see anywhere in your post your argument that what I say is false. So you agree with me. So you agree with me - you could have just said that instead. So if a woman needs to have better technique who don't you communicate with her? Do you think this is a skill set women are/should be born with? So many her other partners never told her. Maybe she didn't listen. Why not talk about it? I think what you posted is about both genders. I think it just depends on what side of the fence you are sitting. There are many girls who feel ignored and invisible especially if they aren't flaunting sex as their banner. Both sexes are lazy in dating. There are many attractive and just gross people out there. That is the point to dating. To weed out the gross people. And yes, if one is using attractiveness as the only precursor to dating you are going to find out there isn't always much else. Seeking to date with personality and principles in mind will get you a much better human being to spend your time with. So find someone that you can talk to, that you can be open with and is funny. That will take you much father than just a hottie. 4
Lernaean_Hydra Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) So you agree with me - you could have just said that instead. If you didn't post this thread to spark a discussion then why post it at all? Nevertheless, the problem with rants threads like these is that they eschew all common sense and logic in favor of bitterness and hyperbole while throwing in small kernels of truth here and there making them appear to have more veracity than they actually do. Yes, it is true a decent looking woman will have offers and an attractive woman is likely to be positively bombarded but what does that actually mean? Quantity =/= quality. Why is the natural assumption that guys being interested or even pursuing her are reasonable candidates? There are a thousand guys that know they have no business anywhere near a relationship going after women in spite of this. Going to a seafood buffet means nothing if you're allergic to shellfish... Saying nothing of the fact that if, IF we were to assume your assertions are correct no one would be in a relationship and every woman would be out just collecting a string of f*kbuddies. This is clearly not the case. The thing is, you talk about all these lazy ass women who are bad in bed, boring to talk to and need to hit the gym, yet you're still single while millions of other men are not. What does that say about you? Take that to the bank maybe? Edited October 27, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra 6
somedude81 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 There are many girls who feel ignored and invisible especially if they aren't flaunting sex as their banner. And how are guys supposed to know which girls feel ignored and invisible? If there are some halfway decent looking girls out there that I interact with who feel ignored and invisible with guys, I would gladly ask them out if they would appreciate a date with me. Though odds are those girls feel ignored and invisible because they don't do anything at all to try and stand out. One might even say they are lazy with dating
OwMyEyeball Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Keep up that mentality and you'll keep getting the women you deserve. 3
ComingInHot Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 And how are guys supposed to know which girls feel ignored and invisible? If there are some halfway decent looking girls out there that I interact with who feel ignored and invisible with guys, I would gladly ask them out if they would appreciate a date with me. Though odds are those girls feel ignored and invisible because they don't do anything at all to try and stand out. One might even say they are lazy with dating Kind of a lose/lose stitch if you ask me Somedude81* Unless there is honest communication between you and someone you are interested in, no one is going to know where to even begin, right? I mean, do I dress slutty or just sexy and what is the difference To You? (and when I say I or ME I don't mean ME because that would just be weird. I do have a thing with a big age gap ) Should I buy you a drink or is does that scream TOO FORWARD To You? (not to mention how awful I would feel for like forever if I was a young lady should you turn me down ) What about that 'LEANING' thing? Would you catch on to that or is that too subtle To You? You see, without SOMEONE (you) starting a conversation (compliment), You will never know (her) if she is interested. Especially if she is shy. ...my Holy Geesh I have got to do some work today people. Bad CiH! 1
Got it Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 And how are guys supposed to know which girls feel ignored and invisible? If there are some halfway decent looking girls out there that I interact with who feel ignored and invisible with guys, I would gladly ask them out if they would appreciate a date with me. Though odds are those girls feel ignored and invisible because they don't do anything at all to try and stand out. One might even say they are lazy with dating How are girls to know that there are guys that are feeling ignored and invisible? It is a two way street. Maybe someone is just introverted so they just don't stand out. Or just plain shy. I know until about 28 I was very shy. I just struggled in social settings. Didn't mean I didn't bring a lot to the table (if I do say so myself ) but I wasn't comfortable in my own skin and know I didn't get as noticed (or thought I didn't). I still don't. I know my husband said I get looked at a lot (I don't see it but I am not looking either) but even when I was single few approached me. The feedback I got was I was intimidating. Okay. I take that as a compliment and say phooey on them. It takes a lot for me to get hit over the head to even notice that a guy is/was interested in me.I just didn't think like that. Somedude, sometimes I don't know if I want to hug you or smack you upside the head.
Phoe Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I suppose it just comes down to the MENTALITY of the woman, and not the woman herself. It all depends on what mentality she has. I don't view men as disposable. I don't see them as abundant options. I view relationships as something special and really put my all into its because I know if I don't, i could lose a guy. 1
somedude81 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 How are girls to know that there are guys that are feeling ignored and invisible? It is a two way street. How is that relevant? This thread isn't about guys being lazy. If a guy is feeling invisible then that just means he isn't doing anything. I'm not having any success with girls right now, but I most certainly don't feel invisible. Though being ignored is something different. Maybe someone is just introverted so they just don't stand out. Or just plain shy. I know until about 28 I was very shy. I just struggled in social settings. Didn't mean I didn't bring a lot to the table (if I do say so myself ) but I wasn't comfortable in my own skin and know I didn't get as noticed (or thought I didn't). If a girl is very shy, then that does make dating very difficult. Unless the girl can figure out someway to stand out, her shyness will most likely be seen as disinterest. Heck, my bet is that if the girl is shy, she may not actually want attention. I still don't. I know my husband said I get looked at a lot (I don't see it but I am not looking either) but even when I was single few approached me. The feedback I got was I was intimidating. Okay. I take that as a compliment and say phooey on them. It takes a lot for me to get hit over the head to even notice that a guy is/was interested in me.I just didn't think like that. Somedude, sometimes I don't know if I want to hug you or smack you upside the head. If you never noticed the attention then that could be another reason why you didn't get approached that often. Few guys will approach a woman who is giving them zero signals. I bet that throughout your life you've had guys try to see if you'd be interested in them, and you most likely didn't notice them at all, or you reacted as if you were not interested, so they gave up without asking you out.
preraph Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Newsflash: Women aren't interested in grooming themselves to be your concubine and fantasy sexual object. We consider ourselves much more than a sex toy and only the guys who are able to view us as more get more. So better get used to it. And I second the comment someone made that most guys don't know what they're doing in bed, even if they think they do. And for the guys who think you can learn what women like by watching porn, you can't. Nothing in scripted porn is designed to get the woman off, and most of it is designed to degrade her, and there's no bigger turnoff than that. 5
Gloria25 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) I work out about five - six days a week, I'm also a very active woman, actually I have a "three pack"...lol. I own my home/vehicle/stuff, pay my bills, have a career and education. I'm closing in on 40 and never married and/or had kids. In the bedroom, I am pretty darn good. Actually, Fredericks of Hollywood and 3 wishes.com should give my loyalty discounts for the purchases I've made. I cook and keep a clean home and yard. And, I haven't gotten any in two years, and when I walk the streets, there aren't men killing themselves to get with me. Now, while I do dress down, when I go out on the town/clubs/date I'm dolled up and sexy. At work, I dress professional, sorta sexy at times. And, I've been dumped for ho's, gold diggers, girls with no ambition/education/fitness, and women who treat their men like poop, etc. Quite frankly, I think I intimidate a lot of guys cuz I'm not a "damsel in distress". So, the OP's point is? Edited October 27, 2014 by Gloria25 7
Phoe Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I work out about five - six days a week, I'm also a very active woman, actually I have a "three pack"...lol. I own my home/vehicle/stuff, pay my bills, have a career and education. I'm closing in on 40 and never married and/or had kids. In the bedroom, I am pretty darn good. Actually, Fredericks of Hollywood and 3 wishes.com should give my loyalty discounts for the purchases I've made. I cook and keep a clean home and yard. And, I haven't gotten any in two years, and when I walk the streets, there aren't men killing themselves to get with me. Now, while I do dress down, when I go out on the town/clubs/date I'm dolled up and sexy. At work, I dress professional, sorta sexy at times. And, I've been dumped for ho's, gold diggers, girls with no ambition/education/fitness, and women who treat their men like poop, etc. Quite frankly, I think I intimidate a lot of guys cuz I'm not a "damsel in distress". So, the OP's point is? I feel similarly. I go to the gym, take care of myself, pay my own bills, have a college education. I can cook and clean quite well, love having sex, and have never been unable to make a guy cum from a bj, even the ones who say "you won't be able to, no girl has". But most of all I'm a pretty nice person. I'm kind to others, care about others. Im fair, reasonable, and pretty laid back, and I put my all into relationships. But I don't get the same back. I get treated poorly. I get cheated on and left. I don't get approached often. I can go years without a date, without sex, without a boyfriend, and that is NOT by choice. And naturally, most might say that if I'm getting nothing but crappy men, that I'm the common denominator, and it's my fault. And there's likely a good bit of truth. I'd say it's likely the same for men who continually end up with the lazy entitled girls. The common denominator is you. And of course, it's even easier for me to believe that above statement, when I watch men continually go for the lazy entitled types, and ignore me. It's easy to believe that a man's people picker is off, or he just doesn't know what he wants, when he complains about girls, but keeps going after the same types of girls, passing over the ones who are different. And it would be so easy to just get super bitter and blame all men for the fact that I've had nothing but lousy men, but I know better than that. I know there are wonderful men out there. I just can't get one yet. 4
Got it Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 How is that relevant? This thread isn't about guys being lazy. If a guy is feeling invisible then that just means he isn't doing anything. I'm not having any success with girls right now, but I most certainly don't feel invisible. Though being ignored is something different. If a girl is very shy, then that does make dating very difficult. Unless the girl can figure out someway to stand out, her shyness will most likely be seen as disinterest. Heck, my bet is that if the girl is shy, she may not actually want attention. If you never noticed the attention then that could be another reason why you didn't get approached that often. Few guys will approach a woman who is giving them zero signals. I bet that throughout your life you've had guys try to see if you'd be interested in them, and you most likely didn't notice them at all, or you reacted as if you were not interested, so they gave up without asking you out. Sure. Most likely. How is that relevant. Because it is relevant. Because it shows a similar issue with both sexes and not just with one gender. So if we both share the same issues maybe we can relate a little better so it less of "us vs them" mentality. And no, shy doesn't mean doesn't want attention. It means too shy tobe comfortable to handle the attention. I have learned, as I have aged, to be comfortable with attention on a work/topic specific conversation. But a social setting still makes me uncomfortable. First time I slept with my husband, in my early 30's, the next time I saw him I couldn't look him in the eye, blushing furiously, and very very bashful. He found it endearing.
Toodaloo Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 So, the OP's point is? Oh I dunno Gloria.... You haven't put a neon sign on your head that says "gagging for a shag" yet??? When will you learn eh??? Our problem is that we are not going round asking every male standing if they are single and would they pretty please go on a date with us... probably because we are too busy living an actual life rather than moan about it... That and we are too "nice" and get treated like poo by self opinionated idiots who see fit to walk all over you... There are wonderful chaps out there who are just like us, who are not passing the buck or throwing the blame but who are just a bit befuddled as to why its not quite happened yet... We will find them... xxx 3
Recommended Posts