Newengland12 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I would like to write a letter to my ex. It has been about three months since the last time we spoke. I still think of her a great person. I have been in love before but never had such a special connection with anyone. We broke up because she was having some personal issues taking her focus off of us. She said it was unfair for me to continue. We continued to talk for months after this but no physical contact. I would just like to write her and say that I do think about her often and I hope she has her life on track because I want happiness for her. I wiuld like a chance to reconnect. But I'm not sure if she would want that or not. She has had some problems with other exes which is why we are where we are. But I do love her and want what is best for her whether it is me or not.
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 There is no such thing as after NC. You never contact the person again; you just stop feeling like you want to. Do not send a letter. They never work. Best case she ignores it. Worst case: it goes viral & you are the laughingstock of the internet. If you need to purge your feelings, by all means, write down your thoughts but then safely destroy the letter. I recommend burning it (in a controlled space). There's something cathartic about watching it go up in flames. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Sending a letter is the worst thing you can do in this situation. It shows that you are still hung up (which you are) and you'll be set back severely if she doesn't answer or doesn't give you the type of answer you are looking for. And since you said you want to reconnect, you have expectations of this letter manipulating that result. Like donnivain said, if you want to get your thoughts out on a piece of paper (or on a computer screen) go for it. It can be therapeutic. But under no circumstances send it to her. And while I don't necessarily think you need to be No Contact forever, you certainly aren't anywhere close to being ready for contact based on what you want to do and what you've written.
BC1980 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Like everyone else said, don't send the letter. Letters are generally unwelcome because the other party is trying to move on, especially they did the dumping. And yeah, it's not like you set a time for NC, and then break it. It's infinite and usually permanent. If you do happen to become indifferent, I doubt you will be concerned with contacting her again.
Recommended Posts