carson2002 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Hi, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of two and a half years. we are both in our fifties, she's separated and I'm divorced. She says that there is nothing that I can say or do to reconcile because our differences are so great. I'm not happy with this but I accept it and just want to move on with the rest of my life. Going NC helped with the pain of my divorce so I know its value, unfortunately with this relationship we are both tied to a tenancy agreement until April next year. Neither of us can really afford to move out until then. I'm isolated from friends and family because I moved away from them to be closer to her work. I also got rid of my car because of restricted parking where we live and we have just been using hers, the threat of redundancies is looming at work so I don't want to spend my savings on a car until things have settled down plus there's the costs involved with getting my own place . Its a five hour round trip on public transport to get to see my family and with work it's difficult. we also live in quite a rural area so there's nothing really close to become involved in. she has no problem as her friends all live locally. We just spent this last weekend at home with hardly a word said and I'm finding it draining to just be here and remain polite and friendly. I want to go through the process of grieving the relationship and moving on but it's difficult when your both sat on the same settee watching TV every night!! I don't really want to just sit in my bedroom (luckily we rent a three bedroom so I was able to move into the other bedroom) as that will make me feel really isolated. I need help in figuring the best way to deal with this until April!
Zzyxx Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) I'm in a pretty similar situation to you, except I made the poor decision of moving to another country to be with her. Do you have the private messaging function on this site yet? If so I could give you better detailed advice since I don't want to give too much personal information such as location and everything to ANYONE that can access the internet even though it's not a secret for me to discuss it with individuals. As such, you need to be willing to give something up. Either you get your own car, find a new job near your family, or try and move out. After my ex broke up with me and kicked me out of our apartment, I was couch surfing and moving from sublet to sublet until I could find a new place to live, and that's only for the next 8 months. Like you, I couldn't really move back home because of work obligations and such, and all of our mutual friends I met through her, so it is very isolating, but you do the best you can. Take up new hobbies, anything that gets you out of the house. Start your own social clubs. Try and get into the hobbies everyone else in the rural area gets into it. I know it's all easier said than done, but I'm doing it, and even though it really sucks, it is possible. Edited October 27, 2014 by Zzyxx mistype
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