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getting out of the friendzone

mountfrank

By mountfrank
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mountfrank New Member

mountfrank

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so i met this girl a year ago on tinder. We kicked it off great had some good dates but she came on too strong and i dont think i was really ready at the time. She did say how she has had trust issues before and gets very emotional. Anyway i ignored her for a month and she sent me a message saying how it really rude of me to do that and such. From there we've been great friends talking pretty much every day. Most of that time it was friends with benefits, although nothing was stated about what our relationship was, but it wasnt like we were having sex a lot. a couple of months ago i realised that i really like this chick and wanted to make a go of it so i took her on a few dates. Thats when the intimacy stopped. The dates went well and we have no trouble with making a conversation what so ever. However, i told her how i felt romantically and she said that she loves me as a friend, but she just doesn't get any romantic feelings with me. She said that maybe its because she has me stuck in the friend zone. Im uncertain what to do, because i want her to be able to trust that im not going to hurt her. But maybe the best thing for me is just to ignore her so she knows what shes missing. thanks in advance for the responses

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Yup ignore her. She might miss you, maybe not. Stop seeing her is the best choice because you two want different things. Trust issues? maybe, or it's just a believable excuse to not want commitment. Either way you need to stop investing your feelings, and be prepared to move on.

Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
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So let me get this straight.

At first You guys were de facto bg/gf then you decide to verbaize your feelings for her, then she says "you know what, I dont like you anymore"

 

hahaha you took the mystery out of the relationship be all the talking man. It just turned her all the way off, and to be blunt, its a little bit feminine.

 

What you do, is you give her a little time. Then you go out and have FUN with her. Not BF/GF fun, but fun like regular people do. And let her find what she liked in you before you made that weird transformation

Cristo Established Member

Cristo

Posted
Posted
So let me get this straight.

At first You guys were de facto bg/gf then you decide to verbaize your feelings for her, then she says "you know what, I dont like you anymore"

 

hahaha you took the mystery out of the relationship be all the talking man. It just turned her all the way off, and to be blunt, its a little bit feminine.

 

What you do, is you give her a little time. Then you go out and have FUN with her. Not BF/GF fun, but fun like regular people do. And let her find what she liked in you before you made that weird transformation

 

I disagree with this.

 

OP, this girl is not LTR material. She's FWB material. If you want more than that, then just drop it.

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

Posted
Posted
She did say how she has had trust issues before and gets very emotional. Anyway i ignored her for a month

 

:laugh: (***shakes head***)

Physx7 Member

Physx7

Posted
Posted
She did say how she has had trust issues before and gets very emotional. Anyway i ignored her for a month and she sent me a message saying how it really rude of me to do that and such.

 

This is just a guess, but between her trust issues and you ignoring her for a month after she opened to you once, you may have already blown your chances. At the bare minimum, it could simply be that she was very hurt by that and is wary of it happening again.

 

Either way, my advice would be to try to talk to her about it. Considering the whole "ignoring her" thing didn't work out too well in the past, I believe what she might need at this point is some assurance from you that you aren't going to dip out again when things get serious. If talking doesn't seem to get you anywhere, then I would say go with what others have advised and give her some space to miss you. However, I would try to talk to her first, as if she sees a pattern of you disappearing every time she is wondering where things might lead with you two, her trust issues are only going to push you further away.

Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
Posted
This is just a guess, but between her trust issues and you ignoring her for a month after she opened to you once, you may have already blown your chances. At the bare minimum, it could simply be that she was very hurt by that and is wary of it happening again.

 

Either way, my advice would be to try to talk to her about it. Considering the whole "ignoring her" thing didn't work out too well in the past, I believe what she might need at this point is some assurance from you that you aren't going to dip out again when things get serious. If talking doesn't seem to get you anywhere, then I would say go with what others have advised and give her some space to miss you. However, I would try to talk to her first, as if she sees a pattern of you disappearing every time she is wondering where things might lead with you two, her trust issues are only going to push you further away.

 

Whatever you do, Dont do this.

And Cristo, what is it then, since you disagree

isisisweeping Established Member

isisisweeping

Posted
Posted
This is just a guess, but between her trust issues and you ignoring her for a month after she opened to you once, you may have already blown your chances. At the bare minimum, it could simply be that she was very hurt by that and is wary of it happening again.

 

Either way, my advice would be to try to talk to her about it. Considering the whole "ignoring her" thing didn't work out too well in the past, I believe what she might need at this point is some assurance from you that you aren't going to dip out again when things get serious. If talking doesn't seem to get you anywhere, then I would say go with what others have advised and give her some space to miss you. However, I would try to talk to her first, as if she sees a pattern of you disappearing every time she is wondering where things might lead with you two, her trust issues are only going to push you further away.

 

 

This.

 

 

Game playing is not good in this situation where your behavior probably led her to dismiss you as untrustworthy.

It's no guarantee - talking and being honest - but it's your best shot here.

 

 

many women want a guy who is really into them and if you don't act like you are, they will write you off. It is hard to overcome being mentally written off as an option for self-respect and preservation... but not impossible.

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