VedderisBetter Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I am talking to a girl I met through an online dating site. We have been talking for about a week. We are hopefully meeting in another week. She's met two guys from online and neither of them contacted her after they met her. I'm not too worried, maybe they were just after fun and she doesn't seem that way, who knows. Anyways, I asked her how her search is going and she told me she hasn't checked it much lately. I know this is a lie because whenever I log on, I can see when she was last on the site. She then asked me and I told her it's going ok but I enjoy talking to her a lot. I assured her that I'm not conversing with any other girls from the site because I think that's what she really wanted to know. Why would she lie about not checking the site when I can see that she checks it multiple times daily? Is this just so I continue talking to her. She's also mentioned a few times that she is boring, but this is mainly after I ask her what's she up to that day or weekend. Is there a meaning behind her telling me this or do you think she just may have a low self esteem?
avintagegirl Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Maybe she lied so as not to come off as "desperate" to you. Maybe she says she is boring so she prepares you for the worst so you will "be prepared" for that when you meet her. Maybe the two rejections she has had have taken a serious toll on her self esteem. It's possible she is bracing for your rejection too. All in all Im not sure there is much to do you can convince her you aren't that way except to be there, and be excited to meet her, no matter how boring she says she is.
mammasita Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Her answer could have been a "WTF" sort of response to your question and not necessarily an intentional lie. If you're already corresponding and have a good rapport with intentions to meet up......who really cares "how the search is going". Get what I'm saying. It's almost counter intuitive. Now, I'm more concerned with you assuring her that you aren't speaking with anyone else from the site. WTF, YOU HAVENT MET YET......and more importantly it's really none of her business until after you meet and decide that you want to date exclusively. Second concern is her little self deprecating remarks.....yes that could be a red flag and why the first two guys never contacted her after they met. 1
smackie9 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 My god you any everyone else would rather sit, and analyze everything instead. You paranoid? Just let it go already. Why not ask her out, and take it from there. Isn't that what OLD is for? to get dates? 2
Assasda Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Let me 2nd what Smackie9 is saying. If youre going to nit-pick everything that women say, youre going to be in for a torrid time. Also why do you feel the need to tell her that youre not talking to any other girls. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THIS GIRL. You should be talking to other girls 2
smackie9 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Exclusivity doesn't start when you start chatting with someone, nor does it start when you go out on dates. It starts when it is stipulated, and agreed by both parties. 1
CC12 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I think it's pretty much okay to lie to someone you barely know when they ask you personal questions. You should not be asking a brand new acquaintance how their dating life is going, especially when you're trying to date them. 2
Author VedderisBetter Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 Now I texted this girl tonight and she said she bought a few shirt and I kind of jokingly told her I thought she might be out buying an outfit for a hot date this weekend with a certain someone. She said, "I never said for sure though." I asked her if I was bugging her about asking her out and she said, "No you're fine. I mean you're going to end up giving up. I'm a tough one to crack and I don't want to rush things. I'm being too careful I guess you could say." I then asked her if she wants me to give up and she said, "Not it's not that I want you to give up. I'm just complicated I guess you could say." I then asked her about talking on the phone (I got the hint that she doesn't really like talking on the phone bc she gets overly nervous, but I wanted to try and break ice), and told her to let me know when she's outta the shower. She lets me know and I say ok and try calling her but she doesn't answer. I asked her what happened and she said she was sorting her bills that are due. I asked her if I should try calling her again and she said she's on the phone with her grandma with a . I got fed up and told her she can call me when she's free. We text a lot but idk about this girl.
CC12 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 Now I texted this girl tonight and she said she bought a few shirt and I kind of jokingly told her I thought she might be out buying an outfit for a hot date this weekend with a certain someone. I get that you meant that you were the "certain someone" you were referring to, but it comes across as you fishing for hints as to whether or not she's currently dating people. Why are you so interested in her personal dating life?
Author VedderisBetter Posted October 28, 2014 Author Posted October 28, 2014 I doubt she took it as this. I think it was more of you looking for a shot at criticism.
CC12 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 I doubt she took it as this. I think it was more of you looking for a shot at criticism. Me? Looking for a shot at criticism? Nope. I don't think I've criticized you at all in this thread. I'm just giving you my opinion as an outsider as to how the person you're interacting with might take your statements. Did I misunderstand the purpose of your thread? Do you not want opinions?
smackie9 Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 You said you are "hopefully" meeting in another week....what does that mean? You ask her out, but gave you an excuse? You haven't actually asked her out but hinted? You are still feeling her out and haven't asked her yet? Trying to muster up the courage to ask her out? Do you even have a real interest in her? You have touble trusting OLD?
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