Chuck636333 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Has anyone ever maybe been in a relationship where you kinda let yourself go and got lazy, and then got into shape only to have your ex that left you Try to come back because you got sexy and exciting?
blackcat777 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 In any case, being sexy and exciting never hurt anyone. Just make the investment for yourself, not for anyone else. Someone worth your time will notice. Maybe it will be your ex, maybe not. Love yourself first and trust the rest to work itself out.
LifeNomad Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Your physicsl appearance is a good 25%-75% of the reason she was attracted to you, by improving yourself physically improves that same percentage of what she liked or missed. It works, but it takes a few months to happen
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 No not necessarily a strategy per say....but it would be nice. I maybe started it for her but in the end I'm doing it for me.I would like to be a better person and boyfriend in the areas I lacked though...just not sure if I'll get that opportunity. As selfish as this sounds it would feel good to have her regret leaving and proving her wrong when she said I would never do it
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 Your physicsl appearance is a good 25%-75% of the reason she was attracted to you, by improving yourself physically improves that same percentage of what she liked or missed. It works, but it takes a few months to happen Ya its gonna take some time...she says she has no feelings for me anymore so I'm wondering if that'll re light the fire or anything
LifeNomad Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Your physicsl appearance is a good 25%-75% of the reason she was attracted to you, by improving yourself physically improves that same percentage of what she liked or missed. It works, but it takes a few months to happen and if it happens consider it a "side quest", up to u if u wanna do it, The best thing is u will feel better than u did in the past odd years and others will also take notice.
LifeNomad Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Ya its gonna take some time...she says she has no feelings for me anymore so I'm wondering if that'll re light the fire or anything Do it for yourself, not to try and relight the fire, dont even tell her ur exercising and wait until she tells u "u look good" or starts asking whats up with u, U will better than ever once u start dropping sizes in clothes
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 Do it for yourself, not to try and relight the fire, dont even tell her ur exercising and wait until she tells u "u look good" or starts asking whats up with u, U will better than ever once u start dropping sizes in clothes Well call it what you will but...we both got rid of facebook (her idea) and she got it back so I'm not gonna get mine back until I'm ready for the big unveil so to speak
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 But in the end I am doing it for myself along with many other things to better my lifestyle...kind of proving it to myself as well
Zzyxx Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 (edited) I've done this twice for two different exes and it never worked. You could see they were surprised that I looked good and different, but yeah, do it for you, cause it's usually just in the movies that it reels the ex back in. I don't think there's anything wrong in using it for motivation though as long as you don't expect anything from them. Edited October 26, 2014 by Zzyxx spelling error
Day.One Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Has anyone ever maybe been in a relationship where you kinda let yourself go and got lazy, and then got into shape only to have your ex that left you Try to come back because you got sexy and exciting? I would suggest that you're a prime candidate to pick up and read the Married Man Sex Life Primer, and No More Mr Nice Guy. From your OP and the ones following, you may well recognize yourself in the pages. But i would also suggest that you both try Marriage Counselling. I got the impression that you're not talking to each other clearly enough, if at all, about your mutual issues.
jbentley87 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I am doing the same thing. I have lost 17 pounds since my ex broke it off with me. It feels really good and it helps with coping. I can't say that I am doing it just for me though, because I can't kid myself and say I don't want her to be wowed when she sees me next. Here's to another 20 pounds!
LifeNomad Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I am doing the same thing. I have lost 17 pounds since my ex broke it off with me. It feels really good and it helps with coping. I can't say that I am doing it just for me though, because I can't kid myself and say I don't want her to be wowed when she sees me next. Here's to another 20 pounds! awesome man keep it up, maybe it started for her, but eventually you will feel so much better than you already do and want to keep up your healthy active lifestyle for yourself.
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I have had relationships start to cool because I spent too much time in sweats, not really caring about my appearance & we just sort of sat around not doing anything together but the spark could be reignited with a little initiative & some lingerie . It never really got to the point of breaking up.
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 I am doing the same thing. I have lost 17 pounds since my ex broke it off with me. It feels really good and it helps with coping. I can't say that I am doing it just for me though, because I can't kid myself and say I don't want her to be wowed when she sees me next. Here's to another 20 pounds! Ya I'm down 25lbs since she left and 20 before so 45 total...I'm with you I can't say I'm doing it all for me either I'm also trying to get into counseling and get into doing some charity work just to better myself as a person...sometimes in life something happens like this and makes you realize its time for a complete overhaul... but best of luck to you I hope it works out
ThorntonMelon Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Chuck my worry is you asked this question 2 weeks ago, with similar answers. Which means you're obsessing over this particular piece of the issue. You just need to find yourself a happy, confident, secure place. Whatever the weight. If you need to lose weight to feel better, do it. But the issue is bigger than your weight. its clearly your mid as well.
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 Chuck my worry is you asked this question 2 weeks ago, with similar answers. Which means you're obsessing over this particular piece of the issue. You just need to find yourself a happy, confident, secure place. Whatever the weight. If you need to lose weight to feel better, do it. But the issue is bigger than your weight. its clearly your mid as well. Well ya I want my ex back I'm in love with her and want to be a better person so that if I do the relationship can succeed... I don't think its a negative thing that I care about her enough to just not give up. So call it obsessive or what you will but I don't see that as a negative and I like other peoples input.
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Chuck you have to want to change for you, not somebody else. You can get all buff & lose weight, get a degree . . . whatever you think self improvement looks like but it won't fundamentally change who you are & it won't bring her back. At best she will think -- Oh good for him. He's moving forward & getting on with his life. 1
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 Chuck you have to want to change for you, not somebody else. You can get all buff & lose weight, get a degree . . . whatever you think self improvement looks like but it won't fundamentally change who you are & it won't bring her back. At best she will think -- Oh good for him. He's moving forward & getting on with his life. O...well I guess I should just give up then move on and forget about it...no thanks.....if it doesn't change anything between her and I so be it, that's a risk I'm well aware of, im not going to live with regret thinking I should have done it sooner...I can't change the past I know this but if I work hard and I can change myself physically and mentally. Idk how you think someone cant change who they are....its much much more than a gym membership trust me. At least if I can at least say I tried because I love her and wanted to make myself into what I was and more then I won't have that to regret, the only regret will be that I didn't do it sooner but not at all will not be on my list
BC1980 Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 O...well I guess I should just give up then move on and forget about it...no thanks.....if it doesn't change anything between her and I so be it, that's a risk I'm well aware of, im not going to live with regret thinking I should have done it sooner...I can't change the past I know this but if I work hard and I can change myself physically and mentally. Idk how you think someone cant change who they are....its much much more than a gym membership trust me. At least if I can at least say I tried because I love her and wanted to make myself into what I was and more then I won't have that to regret, the only regret will be that I didn't do it sooner but not at all will not be on my list I understand what you are saying, but the fact is that when people break up with you, they are usually done. Their feelings have changed over time, and they would rather distance themselves from you. To be honest, people usually feel uncomfortable if you are changing for them. You might be changing for yourself as well, but your ex is likely to see it as you changing in a ploy to get them back. I'm glad you've done some positive things for yourself, but I think you are in for a surprise as far as getting your ex back. It's very unlikely that will work.
EuTuBrute Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 I got into the best shape of my life when my ex broke up with me. We got back together and she said i looked good. However, we broke up again. Your ex will always be attracted to you (that's why you dated) but that doesn't mean the relationship is fundamentally flawed. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 O...well I guess I should just give up then move on and forget about it...no thanks.....if it doesn't change anything between her and I so be it, that's a risk I'm well aware of, im not going to live with regret thinking I should have done it sooner...I can't change the past I know this but if I work hard and I can change myself physically and mentally. Idk how you think someone cant change who they are....its much much more than a gym membership trust me. At least if I can at least say I tried because I love her and wanted to make myself into what I was and more then I won't have that to regret, the only regret will be that I didn't do it sooner but not at all will not be on my list I'm not trying to tell you to abandon your goals. Self improvement is a good thing. I am saying that no matter what you do, it's unlikely to bring her back. 1
Author Chuck636333 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 Well what do you do then if you want to re try things and try to correct your mistakes? Just hope the other person feels differently in the future,hope for the best and let it go? Its an honest question...7 years together we've broken up and gotten back together before
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