Making women chase you

[littleblackheart]

I don't do as well with women by choice. Because I want something deep. I don't want to date anymore women I have nothing in common with who are only into me because of my PUA tactics.

 

I still occasionally use them to get laid, but not for serious dating anymore.

 

 

What you lose in quantity (assuming that's what you mean by not doing as well by choice) you gain in quality.

 

 

You don't need any number of women chasing after you. If looking for something deep is really what you want, then maybe you should consider all dating to be serious and stop, you know, 'using them to get laid'. Apart from anything else, it taints the view you have of women.

 

 

Try to focus on one woman at a time, one that you really like. Being yourself won't work with everyone - I know that from personal experience - but when it does (and it will, if that's what you want), it'll help you forget all the things you experienced as a PUA (a really strange world, by all accounts).

 

 

In my opinion, it'll help you regain a bit of trust and have a better opinion of women in general.

 

 

Some of us are really nice, I promise

[Miss Clavel]

Even though I don't use this PUA stuff anymore, I think this tip in particular would help a lot of men here.

 

The objective: Date multiple women and make the women chase you.

 

It sounds too good to be true, but its not. I was answering a post about why women love married men, and I remembered this little PUA trick I used a few times. I really does work. Its basically reverse physiology.

 

There are two things you have to do:

 

1. Have as many female friends as you can. Yes, "friends" who are women, but you don't date them.

 

2. Once you land a first date with a girl, tell her at some point during the date, that you really like her, but you think its best you stay friends for now because you want to get your life together.

 

3. Repeat.

 

Eventually what happens is these women will either come onto you, or try to set you up with their friends.

 

So the big question you probably have is why I stopped doing this. Three reasons:

 

1. Drama

2. Love triangles

3. Lack of free time (it was too demanding)

 

 

would "Drama" include people getting jealous?

 

cuz, anyone that tries to make another person jealous has serious issues.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

A sure way, is to snatch their purse and dodge about the room. It does not work will in crowds or with mousey women, as there will be men to knock your arse on the ground.

[Taramere]

Only if they are aware its a game. And if you do it right they won't be.

 

What does doing it right entail? Really, there are certain circumstances which no amount of "doing it right" can counter. The more women a man hits on, the more aware other people are going to become of any particular strategies he uses or games he plays. People talk, and the way they're most likely to talk about a PUA would be in terms of him not being a very genuine or trustworthy sort of individual. Which might be attractive to some women because they're not particularly genuine or trustworthy themselves, and therefore like the idea of a mutually mistrustful and manipulative relationship-of-sorts. Until one or both tire of the drama and perhaps have an epiphany that "this is not a good person, and it reflects poorly on me that I'm in a relationship with them."

 

I accept that a certain amount of manipulation goes on in all human relationships. PUA encourages a deliberate and conscious manipulation. "Practitioners" are encouraged to exert a lot of time and energy into thinking of ways of manipulating the opposite sex...and one of the main things I can see resulting from that (just from having read a lot of the opinions of people who are attracted to and practice it) is that they project that preoccupation with manipulation onto other people all the time. Which means that every bit of behaviour the PUA dislikes in others is perceived as being deliberate and calculated. That encourages a paranoid outlook.

 

PUA doesn't cure deep-rooted personal issues. Some of it might be aimed at disguising them. For instance, a man who's very needy might employ tactics aimed at concealing that unattractive, suffocating aspect of himself....but it won't cure it. All he's really doing is presenting a facade that's the polar opposite of who he really is. People sense the lack of authenticity and the self loathing inherent in that. They draw away from it. The person returns to their PUA board and is assured that they "just aren't doing it right". As you did. "If you're doing it right, they won't know it's a game". The gold standard of PUA. Become the most convincing con artist possible. Burying your issues with a little eulogy about faking it until you make it, until you start to almost believe the lie yourself.

 

What else can "doing it right" in the context of PUA possibly mean?

[Absinthe]

This tactic would have worked in me in my teens and early twenties. In my late twenties I wised up to it. If a guy isn't calling or texting, I take it as a hint and move on.

 

If you have to DELIBERATELY become unavailable and play games, you're doing it wrong and you will only attract people who, not unlike yourself, need to grow up.

 

The key is to have a genuinely busy enough life that you're not dropping everything for someone else. This is where people lose interest.

[Mister Zen]

What does doing it right entail? Really, there are certain circumstances which no amount of "doing it right" can counter. The more women a man hits on, the more aware other people are going to become of any particular strategies he uses or games he plays. People talk, and the way they're most likely to talk about a PUA would be in terms of him not being a very genuine or trustworthy sort of individual. Which might be attractive to some women because they're not particularly genuine or trustworthy themselves, and therefore like the idea of a mutually mistrustful and manipulative relationship-of-sorts. Until one or both tire of the drama and perhaps have an epiphany that "this is not a good person, and it reflects poorly on me that I'm in a relationship with them."

 

I accept that a certain amount of manipulation goes on in all human relationships. PUA encourages a deliberate and conscious manipulation. "Practitioners" are encouraged to exert a lot of time and energy into thinking of ways of manipulating the opposite sex...and one of the main things I can see resulting from that (just from having read a lot of the opinions of people who are attracted to and practice it) is that they project that preoccupation with manipulation onto other people all the time. Which means that every bit of behaviour the PUA dislikes in others is perceived as being deliberate and calculated. That encourages a paranoid outlook.

 

PUA doesn't cure deep-rooted personal issues. Some of it might be aimed at disguising them. For instance, a man who's very needy might employ tactics aimed at concealing that unattractive, suffocating aspect of himself....but it won't cure it. All he's really doing is presenting a facade that's the polar opposite of who he really is. People sense the lack of authenticity and the self loathing inherent in that. They draw away from it. The person returns to their PUA board and is assured that they "just aren't doing it right". As you did. "If you're doing it right, they won't know it's a game". The gold standard of PUA. Become the most convincing con artist possible. Burying your issues with a little eulogy about faking it until you make it, until you start to almost believe the lie yourself.

 

What else can "doing it right" in the context of PUA possibly mean?

 

Wow.. that's a very impressive response. Deep, well thought out, and basically true.

 

And it really is about being a con artist. And its true that once you become a good con artist you have a hard time trusting people. And I do have a hard time trusting women. But that might be an issue I had before becoming a PUA (and maybe the reason I became one).

 

Dating truly is one of those situations where ignorance is bliss through. Becoming a PUA leads to possibly "knowing too much" and losing some of that ability to see people with rose colored glasses. It seems in order to make romantic relationships work, you have to put your ego and sense of fairness aside and give another person the power to use you, hurt you, etc. That's what "trust" is really about.

 

Knowing that relationships are conditional (meaning they might end or change if certain factors/conditions change) it makes it impossible for me to trust women. It makes me aware that the likelihood of being hurt or used is high, and thus I must protect myself by manipulating the woman into bending to my will.. thus increasing my odds of experiencing a "gain" or "benefit" from my relationship with that woman and minimizing loss/pain.

Edited October 28, 2014 by Mister Zen

[Mister Zen]

I don't like manipulation. In any context. It's just greasy and underhanded.

 

Being less available shouldn't be a tactic, it should be a side effect of a well-rounded life. Otherwise you're just pretending. I read The Game several years ago and the whole PUA scene seemed so fake. I don't doubt that some of it could work in a temporary way. That's fine I guess if that does it for you but if you want a gf and a good one (or what my idea of a good one is) it's not going to help that much.

 

Then the majority of people are greasy and underhanded then.

[autumnnight]

I still occasionally use them to get laid, but not for serious dating anymore

 

Wow.....is this something you are proud of?

[Mister Zen]

Wow.....is this something you are proud of?

 

To be honest, on some level I am proud of it. Its nice to know you I have that power when I need it.

[787Dreamliner]

I am getting fed up of this girl who is making herself unavailable on and off. That's shouldn't be the way. I wouldn't mind if she is busy and have her stuff to do, but if she can reply on twitter on Facebook that very day and not replying to me after a few days or a week, I see a huge red flag waving at me! My interest of her will eventually die away.

If she has no interest in herself, she should just make herself clear from the start and not wasting the guy's time. It hurts him even more especially if it turns out she likes the attention only.

[Lurkeraspect]

Only if they are aware its a game. And if you do it right they won't be.

 

Right... Again, your game may work on GIRLS. Women don't have any desire and can smell your "game" a mile away. But, hey...if it's a girl you want, press on.

[Mister Zen]

I am getting fed up of this girl who is making herself unavailable on and off. That's shouldn't be the way. I wouldn't mind if she is busy and have her stuff to do, but if she can reply on twitter on Facebook that very day and not replying to me after a few days or a week, I see a huge red flag waving at me! My interest of her will eventually die away.

If she has no interest in herself, she should just make herself clear from the start and not wasting the guy's time. It hurts him even more especially if it turns out she likes the attention only.

 

Start ignoring her and only deal with her when it benefits you. Start dating other women.

 

When a woman refuses to behave in a matter that you approve of, you have to let her go. This is something women are very good at but a lot of men suck at since sexual attraction carries a lot more weight with us than it does for women.

[Lurkeraspect]

Start ignoring her and only deal with her when it benefits you. Start dating other women.

 

When a woman refuses to behave in a matter that you approve of, you have to let her go. This is something women are very good at but a lot of men suck at since sexual attraction carries a lot more weight with us than it does for women.

 

Really? Maybe in your experience.

[Mister Zen]

Really? Maybe in your experience.

 

I don't see women approaching men left and right trying to sleep with them compared to the number of men doing it. Do you?

[Lurkeraspect]

I don't see women approaching men left and right trying to sleep with them compared to the number of men doing it. Do you?

 

You're funny. Perhaps, craigslist would be a better place for you. :laugh:

[somedude81]

4. Probably only worked with girls. Women walk away from games like that...

 

And at what age does a girl become a woman?

 

If this works on females up to age 25, then that pretty much means that guys who want to pursue females of that age should try to play these games

[Mister Zen]

You're funny. Perhaps, craigslist would be a better place for you. :laugh:

 

Nice cop out. I asked you a question though.

[Lurkeraspect]

Nice cop out. I asked you a question though.

 

Look, I'll answer your question, though I feel it's likely wasted time.

 

I know many women of various ages, they all have healthy sex drives, love sex, have sex. What they don't do or appreciate is being treated like an object, played by little boys, they walk from that. I'm sorry you're not getting all the sex you want, perhaps it's not the women, rather your game (or lack thereof).

 

That's why I suggested Craigslist as an alternative for you. You don't want quality, rather quantity. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that, just don't blame quality women for walking away from your obvious game and looking (and getting it) elsewhere.

[Tayken]

And at what age does a girl become a woman?

 

I will have to say.....50 for a bit of rationality. The ones under this are full of head games / drama / indecision / entitlement

[Mister Zen]

Look, I'll answer your question, though I feel it's likely wasted time.

 

I know many women of various ages, they all have healthy sex drives, love sex, have sex. What they don't do or appreciate is being treated like an object, played by little boys, they walk from that. I'm sorry you're not getting all the sex you want, perhaps it's not the women, rather your game (or lack thereof).

 

That's why I suggested Craigslist as an alternative for you. You don't want quality, rather quantity. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that, just don't blame quality women for walking away from your obvious game and looking (and getting it) elsewhere.

 

Nice cop out. Still didn't answer the question. Not the one I asked anyway.

 

Also.. the reason you are so angry is because you know PUA tactics work. If they didn't.. there would be no reason for you to care that some men are doing it.

[Lurkeraspect]

Nice cop out. Still didn't answer the question. Not the one I asked anyway.

 

Also.. the reason you are so angry is because you know PUA tactics work. If they didn't.. there would be no reason for you to care that some men are doing it.

 

What? I think I've answered you inquiries. Angry? Uh, no. That would be you. See, I'm happy in my life, and sex life. You're the one whining. Not, I.

[Mister Zen]

What? I think I've answered you inquiries. Angry? Uh, no. That would be you. See, I'm happy in my life, and sex life. You're the one whining. Not, I.

 

I call BS. You don't sound very happy. But whatever.

 

And no.. you didn't answer the question. It was a simple yes or no question and I didn't get a yes or no. Therefore you didn't answer it. Nice try though.

[readynow]

You know what I'd like to see? A man who does The Game and a woman who does The Rules become attracted to each other! Now, that would be very interesting