writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 (edited) I think there's some common excuses that people use to cancel first dates. Such as: "I have the flu." (Is that the 48 hour flu, or permanent flu? This seems to be a staple excuse). "My dog is sick and I don't feel safe leaving it home alone." (Oh really? But you told me you were allergic to dogs 2 days ago.) "I have to work." (He/She forgot that he told you he was unemployed.) "I forgot I already had plans with so-and-so." (How did He/She conveniently forget this information on the same day of your date?) "I have to go to my grandma's birthday party." (Didn't you just tell me she died a few years ago?) "My phone died. Sorry I didn't call you to cancel the date." (So...you lost your phone charger? Couldn't buy another one? Use your computer to email me?) "I'm sooo tired. Can we reschedule?" (That must be why you texted me instead of called to cancel. Your mouth was asleep and only your arms worked. Right?) I'm curious to hear from others here, actual excuses that were used to cancel first dates with you (or that you used to cancel a first date with someone). And this brings up the method used to cancel dates. I think canceling the date by text instead of a phone call is rude. Sure, it's convenient for the date canceler to use because they can hide behind the text. Plus, via text it's a one-sided conversation. You could respond via text with "why are you canceling?" but 10 out of 10 times they won't respond with the reason, or care that you're irritated by the obvious lie they've used to back out of their first date with you. That's probably why they don't use the phone to cancel because you could call them out on the excuse and hold them accountable. It's just irritating that grown adults resort to silly excuses instead of the truth to cancel dates. Also, when they cancel via text, they usually don't include a proposal to reschedule, "I have to cancel because [] but would like to see you if you're available on [date/time]." That's particularly annoying because it leaves you hanging, wondering if they're going to contact you again to reschedule. And...is it unrealistic to expect people to tell you the truth instead of an excuse to cancel a first date? Edited October 26, 2014 by writergal
Maleficent Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 «Something came up that I have to take care of tonight»
Author writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 «Something came up that I have to take care of tonight» That's definitely a common excuse used. Have you ever been tempted to ask them what came up and why?
somedude81 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 "I have to study for an exam." Apparently they forgot they had an exam the day after the date. If the exam is even the day after the date at all.
Author writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 "I have to study for an exam." Apparently they forgot they had an exam the day after the date. If the exam is even the day after the date at all. That one is so obviously an excuse. I got that one a few times when I was an undergrad from guys I had first dates scheduled with. It's like...really? We have the same class and are in the same study group. They didn't think that one through. 1
Maleficent Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 That's definitely a common excuse used. Have you ever been tempted to ask them what came up and why? No. That's usually the last contact I have with these people. If it's so bad that you can't tell me what it is, I won't want to be involved with this person cause whatever it is, it can only be bad news. If 'something came up' means your dog got sick, your mother needs help, you have a friend in distress, then you would just say it so I can only assume nothing came up. I'd rather just bail.
Author writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 No. That's usually the last contact I have with these people. If it's so bad that you can't tell me what it is, I won't want to be involved with this person cause whatever it is, it can only be bad news. If 'something came up' means your dog got sick, your mother needs help, you have a friend in distress, then you would just say it so I can only assume nothing came up. I'd rather just bail. I agree. If they don't disclose what the 'something came up' is, it's clearly a blatant lie and they're not worth being involved with anyway.
Maleficent Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I agree. If they don't disclose what the 'something came up' is, it's clearly a blatant lie and they're not worth being involved with anyway. Or they have to, like go bury a body... lol 1
Author writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 Or they have to, like go bury a body... lol LOL! You know, I actually went out with an OLD guy who could have doubled for Norman Bates! Yeesh. When he asked me out again, I declined, trying to be positive, "I think you're in a place right now where you need to focus on yourself more." As in, his background check revealed a lengthy list of drug-related felonies (!!) and some other things that the writers of the tv crime-drama "Criminal Minds" could draw character traits from for their criminal characters. Ha!! 1
Jules Dash Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I can almost always turn a cancellation around. Within the past three weeks, I had three attempted cancellations with a successful turn around in all 3. I treat them all in a similar manner. I want to convince those here who give up after receiving a cancellation to continue to press forward. The magic is in showing a no sweat of your chest attitude and a subtle implication that this may be the last time the person will hear from you. I will give one example that occurred yesterday. This example is pretty much how I handle all cancellations and the last 3 cancellations that I almost got in the last 3 weeks from different dates. I will say that neither of the dates wound up actually getting cancelled, they all "almost" occurred after the second official date happened. Text from her: "I'm sorry. I won't be able to meet up with you today. Hope we can meet up another time. Talk to you later!" Silence from me: Text from her 5 minutes later: Call me sometime. I would love to hear your sexy voice. Me: Now if that were true you would be on your way to meet me right now. I saw this coming a zillion miles away but,hey, no hard feelings. Have a great day!" Her: I do want to hear your voice! Me: Obviously not enough. I'm just saying... Her: Ok, lets meet up at 2pm today at the park. We met up yesterday and while dining she says "so, Jules, are you going to keep dating me or what?" I said "yes." At the end of the date we were making out and we are going to a Halloween party tonight that her family is throwing. The exchange went in a very similar manner the other two attempted cancellations this month and pretty much most time someone tries to cancel on me. I use the same formula and during the date, I hike up the intimacy and flirtation to raise the interest level and keep me in the picture. The last part is very important if you are a guy.
Haydn Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Much to my shame i canceled a date with the alibi, `I`m playing snooker tonight` It was the first thing that popped into my head. Thanks for the advice Jules.................
Author writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 Much to my shame i canceled a date with the alibi, `I`m playing snooker tonight` It was the first thing that popped into my head. Thanks for the advice Jules................. The snooker excuse, that's a new one for me. Why'd you need an alibi? Crazy woman you couldn't get away from? Must have been a stressful situation??
Author writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 (edited) I can almost always turn a cancellation around. Within the past three weeks, I had three attempted cancellations with a successful turn around in all 3. I treat them all in a similar manner. I want to convince those here who give up after receiving a cancellation to continue to press forward. The magic is in showing a no sweat of your chest attitude and a subtle implication that this may be the last time the person will hear from you. I will give one example that occurred yesterday. This example is pretty much how I handle all cancellations and the last 3 cancellations that I almost got in the last 3 weeks from different dates. I will say that neither of the dates wound up actually getting cancelled, they all "almost" occurred after the second official date happened. Text from her: "I'm sorry. I won't be able to meet up with you today. Hope we can meet up another time. Talk to you later!" Silence from me: Text from her 5 minutes later: Call me sometime. I would love to hear your sexy voice. Me: Now if that were true you would be on your way to meet me right now. I saw this coming a zillion miles away but,hey, no hard feelings. Have a great day!" Her: I do want to hear your voice! Me: Obviously not enough. I'm just saying... Her: Ok, lets meet up at 2pm today at the park. We met up yesterday and while dining she says "so, Jules, are you going to keep dating me or what?" I said "yes." At the end of the date we were making out and we are going to a Halloween party tonight that her family is throwing. The exchange went in a very similar manner the other two attempted cancellations this month and pretty much most time someone tries to cancel on me. I use the same formula and during the date, I hike up the intimacy and flirtation to raise the interest level and keep me in the picture. The last part is very important if you are a guy. Wow Jules Dash that's impressive. Unfortunately, the first date I had yesterday cancelled on me in the morning with the standard "I have the flu" excuse text with no offer for a rain check date. He knew I was on my way to spend the day with a friend, and had vaguely agreed to meet me afterward. All week I tried to no avail to get him to commit to meeting me at a specific place and time, but he kept being casual about it, post-poning it (red flag, I know). Then yesterday while I was out with my friend he texted me 2 more times with details of his so-called flu, "I think I have a fever," and again a 3rd text "I took a nap. I'm sorry I can't see you this weekend." My non-response to his texts yesterday did not turn his cancellation around at all, because he never offered me a rain check to try to meetup again. He just left me hanging with "I can't see you this weekend." That's not good enough for me. I need a future date rain check to care enough to respond to such a text. Otherwise, it just meant he wasn't interested in meeting me and the only thing he could think of to cancel at the last minute, was the lame "flu" excuse. So irritating. Edited October 26, 2014 by writergal
Georgia2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I just tell the truth. I canceled a first date yesterday and I told him the truth. I would want men to be truthful to me if canceling a date.
Author writergal Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 I just tell the truth. I canceled a first date yesterday and I told him the truth. I would want men to be truthful to me if canceling a date. Good for you Georgia. I'm the same way (except with the Norman Bates guy). I tell the truth hoping men will do the same but as we all know, many people use these lame excuses to get out of dates at the last minute.
sillyanswer Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 "I have to leave the country" - I've had that twice. "I have to go on a business trip" - I've had that many times.
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