tippydog90 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I am near the end of a very, very painful divorce and am feeling so overwhelmed right now with it all. My STBX walked out on my three year old daughter and me because he "wanted his freedom". I just turned 50 and am now a single mom with a toddler. I gave this man my heart, tried so very long and so very hard to "make him happy", but he is such an angry man inside. There was a great deal of emotional abuse in the marriage - the last of which was him telling me he never loved me at all and just used me to get out of his living situation at the time. His words over the last two years have been very cruel, and cut me to the very core. So while I know this is for the best, I am struggling to understand - still. How could a man do this to his wife and little daughter for "freedom". How could he betray us and abandon us like this. We will be fine, I have a great career and am looking at relocating to a larger town with more to offer my child and me. Right now we live in a tiny town, 3 hours from anyplace that has anything to offer. But I need to heal from this and I just don't know how. The pain is so intense, the memories flood my mind and I just ask why, over and over. I am a sweet, compassionate and loving woman and I love sharing my life with someone. And now here I am 50 years old with a very young daughter and I find myself wondering if I am destined to now be alone the rest of my life, which is very painful for me to think of. While I am not even anywhere ready to think about a relationship at all - I still cannot help but wonder if I will ever find someone to share life with again? After all, I am 50 (look much younger though) with a very young child and I cannot help but think there are not many men out there remotely close to my age that would likely even consider being involved with me given the situation. Sure, if I had grown children, probably not an issue. But my daughter is my world. I guess these thoughts are part of the enormity of pain I am feeling now. The loss of my marriage, the loss of what I "dreamed" my life would be, the loss of the life I wanted for my daughter, the sense of betrayal and abandonment, and what I also see as the loss of a life of love for myself. Even though I really didn't have that love in this marriage.... Any advice on how to get past the pain, move toward the future, and let the dreams I had go - as well as how to approach the future would be so much help to me now. My emotions are a roller coaster right now and I just cannot seem to get them under control. And I am going to counseling for those that might suggest that, and have been for quite some time. But the whole situation is beyond any pain I have ever felt, I am just devastated with the way this all turned out. I had so many hopes for my family and now I have to reshape those hopes for the future.
Reels Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Have a good break, visit some place, you will feel better.
preraph Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 There are plenty of men (and women too) who aren't worth the leather they're housed in. He used you, plain and simple, and altered your life forever. I'm assuming you had the child with him. If so, you are stuck with who will probably be a deadbeat father, but you be sure if he's the father and go to the state and register for them to take child support from him. They will make him earn some money and pay it. He has that responsibility. He was a user, and I'm sorry you found out after you had a lot invested, but you have a lovely toddler to care for and need to turn all your attention to getting the child support ball rolling. If you're in the US, you google y our state and "child support services" to file. You're going to have to find a way to make it on your own. If a man happens, fine, he happens, but you cannot count on that. You can attend meetups for single parents and stuff like that, but with a toddler, you are probably too busy for all that. Maybe you put it off until she's in school and just concentrate on working a lot and keeping the roof over your head.
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