Darren2013 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Maybe for those who don't believe in anything spiritual it would be hard to understand where I'm coming from with what I am about to talk about. So it seems like each time I get determined to just cut all contact with my crush (without being unprofessional)it feels like some unseen force deep in my being will prod the heck out of me to say something to her or like in yesterday's case offer her a candy bar. Here's the thing. I went to work yesterday pretty much determined to avoid her. Don't look at her don't say hi don't do anything and just do my job and go to my vehicle at break times. So that's what I set out to do. Later on in the shift she comes over to my area to work with me as a partner. Okay fine. Initially I was going to resume the normal routine of no small talk and only talk when it is necessary about work. No offering her any of my candy. Then for some reason maybe half an hour later I feel an unexplainable prodding that came out of nowhere to go ahead and offer her a Hershey bar and maybe 2 of them since those snack size ones are so small. It is an innocent gesture. There's no harm in offering her that. She is a coworker and after-all I did offer another coworker some earlier and obviously I have no romantic interest in them. Those were the thoughts that went through my head. So I did it and she accepted and thanked me and said "yeah I could use the instant energy". When she made that comment she obviously remembers what I shared with her 6 to 8 months ago about simple sugar foods in moderation serve as instant energy and that it is good to have on the job. So then 10 minutes later I ask her how a certain family member of hers that she is close to is doing and she talked in great detail about that and got me up to date on some things. This wasn't the first time I got that inner prodding feeling. It doesn't happen all the time. It comes on randomly and unexpectedly. The first time this happened was when I was prodded strongly to say hi to her after 6 weeks of not talking. With both times it is like something comes over me and won't let me rest until I do it. There is that uneasiness and that overwhelming feeling puts a monkey wrench in my initial plans to not interact with her. Then later on yesterday she helped me out with something that would have only taken me 2 minutes to do on my own. Not to try and fill in the blanks but it feels like some unseen force is setting me up to getting backed into a corner to where I will have every incentive to be more direct and ask her out. I hope I am wrong but it just seems like something in me will prod me from time to time to shake me out of my comfort zone.
Gloria25 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Well, I'm glad to see that you are making more of an effort to chat up your crush...I mean, hopefully with time you can relax more and it will get even easier. I guess I can relate...This week I chatted up my crush after I said I would not approach him (remember, last time I tried that, I ended up seeing him shirtless and made a fool of myself with that gift). Well, while I've been trying to think of ways to communicate with him, this week I didn't plan chatting him up. I just got up, did my usual things and just said "lemme go there". Also, while I envisioned my next attempt to chat him up with me putting on something sexy...lol...I just went and chatted him up this time in casual dress. So, all and all, I had a light convo with him and gosh he is so handsome...I didn't get a shirtless encounter, but enough visual to turn me on . But it felt very good that I could have a decent convo with him that was short, sweet, and w/o pressure. About the spiritual aspect? Well, I have times I feel so stupid for not chatting him up long time ago and he was around me for so long. But, things happen for a reason. I had so much going on in the past and I believe if I'm speaking to him now, it's for a reason. When it comes to connecting with someone on a level where like you have a 6th sense (like intuition) I guess, I can say that so far I had that with my 6 year guy cuz I really connected with him. I mean, he accepted me for who I was. Was it meant to be for some reason? Yes, I believe so. With my crush, I can't explain it, but I feel like there's a connection. I mean, when I chatted him up a while back, I was speaking to other guys and I already was exchanging numbers with one guy but let it go. I mean, I decided that there was something about my crush that I wanted to pursue - which is kinda risky, cuz he has so much going on that would not make him likely to drop it all to date me. Again, I'm glad that you are getting more comfortable with chatting with your crush, but I just hope you see it as a positive instead of being "backed into a corner". Remember, just keep it lite, don't stress.
Author Darren2013 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 I can say that for those moments that I felt prodded to give her a snack I was not self conscious at all. I wasn't concerned about whether she would take the offer or not. I felt very relaxed for at least a short period and now the nervousness has returned. 1
darkmoon Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 wait for the next prod, or buy her a sandwich, or both i think your prods are great news, prods and/or gut reactions, can't go wrong 1
Gloria25 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I can say that for those moments that I felt prodded to give her a snack I was not self conscious at all. I wasn't concerned about whether she would take the offer or not. I felt very relaxed for at least a short period and now the nervousness has returned. And there's a part of a Laura Pausini's song, "Me Quedo", that says something like 'the person who loves more, sleeps less' ("Y comprendí que duerme mucho menos quien ama un poco más") In other words, when you relax and let go of whether or not they care - you have an advantage. Yeah, same thing with me...the nervousness comes back. I guess its like you want a reassurance of the prior positive experience with your crush. I believe that this will pass once you know where you stand with your crush. I don't know where I stand with him, so I guess that's why my feelings are good when I have a good interaction with him, but it's not like we're dating - so that insecurity is still there. I'm just gonna try to stay busy and keep it lite with him. If I let the insecurities take over, I might get clingy and try harder to get his attention and/or might pull back - which I'm sure will be a turn off. Just hang in there, hopefully with more interaction you will relax more and the nerves will subside. And, if one day you two kick it off, I'm sure it'll subside even more.
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