Why Do Women Love Married Men?

[Furious]

Keep in mind that many women just aren't attracted to much of the guys around them. So if a goodlooking married guy shows up on their radar, the only thing left is the right mixture of circumstances and situations to make it happen. The social conventions and protocol that used to be an obstacle are chipped away to nothing at this point, sadly.

 

 

Plenty of average looking MM cheat, it's really not about looks.

 

Single men have dating options and usually do not love bomb potential partners. Married men, whose options are limited, in the sense that most single women would not go there, tend to amp up intensity.

 

A single man doesn't make declarations or promises that a MM would. MM have the advantage of the loop hole of not being able to fulfill any declarations or promises in the immediate future. Usually, the MM portrays himself as being altruistic and it's not unusual they use the "love" of their children and fear of losing them to gain sympathy from the OW and keep her waiting and hoping.

 

The only "protocol" is the ability to ditch ethics and to believe words and not actions. It's not about looks, it's about character. Plenty of good looking men and women do not cheat.

Edited October 26, 2014 by Furious

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

...pretty gutsy saying that to GoodyBlue about her man whom she is NOW in a legitimate relationship with which she says was a painful and difficult time in her life that she'd Never do again.

A few men leave for their OW. And those who actually make it, do so because their OW now legit partner wasn't a person who took joy and excitement in another woman's pain.

 

My stbx cheated because she spread. There was no ILY's very little future faking and he wanted her to go away without telling me. She didn't like not 'winning ' and definitely didn't like being a 'cast off'

Bummer for my h as He still doesn't want any other woman but me and especially not some chick who'd sleep with a mm.

 

So, maybe mm cheat because they want a taste of what they can't have but would never buy. ?.?

 

I say what I want. It is no different the guy I hooked up with loves his fiancee so what? Whose to say I don't go and sleep with more married men because obviously it worked for two people in this post! Not saying I would, I don't even want to but it's no difference between my situation and theirs the difference is mine doesn't love me. I don't love him either so what.

[Redheaded Mistress]

I say what I want. It is no different the guy I hooked up with loves his fiancee so what? Whose to say I don't go and sleep with more married men because obviously it worked for two people in this post! Not saying I would, I don't even want to but it's no difference between my situation and theirs the difference is mine doesn't love me. I don't love him either so what.

 

That's a pretty big difference...

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

That's a pretty big difference...

 

Yeah you slept around with a married man and he left his family for you. That could happen to me, not with this guy. My point is it's hypocritical of you and the other poster to condemn women who get involved with married men or even tell them that they shouldn't, you did it. That's how you got your husband.

[Lurkeraspect]

Yeah you slept around with a married man and he left his family for you. That could happen to me, not with this guy. My point is it's hypocritical of you and the other poster to condemn women who get involved with married men or even tell them that they shouldn't, you did it. That's how you got your husband.

 

I wouldn't look to these two posters as the gold standard for finding a husband. They're not the norm. Most affairs don't end with the happy ending you're looking for. Rather the opposite.

[Redheaded Mistress]

Yeah you slept around with a married man and he left his family for you. That could happen to me, not with this guy. My point is it's hypocritical of you and the other poster to condemn women who get involved with married men or even tell them that they shouldn't, you did it. That's how you got your husband.

 

Yes, that's how I got a husband, but it's how I lost a husband too. You seem to forget that.

 

We had emotional affairs that led to PAs that led to divorces and remarriage. Despite it being an affair, which was absolutely wrong, there were feelings involved. Nobody was trying to assert dominance over a BS, nobody was trying to prove their virility, nobody was just sleeping with somebody they didn't love with for an ego boost. These are all things that you said you did and do and is your purpose behind the affair, as well as expressing no regret but actually the opposite... You say it's justified because his future wife is ugly and you enjoy it.

 

We're no different in the action of having an affair, but our motivations for it are completely different. That was Goody's point. Just because we did the same thing doesn't mean that every situation is created equal.

 

We aren't condemning you for having an affair, we're saying that your announcing all the things you announce and then pointing at other women who had an affair and claiming that was our motivation too is not accurate.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

Yes, that's how I got a husband, but it's how I lost a husband too. You seem to forget that.

 

We had emotional affairs that led to PAs that led to divorces and remarriage. Despite it being an affair, which was absolutely wrong, there were feelings involved. Nobody was trying to assert dominance over a BS, nobody was trying to prove their virility, nobody was just sleeping with somebody they didn't love with for an ego boost. These are all things that you said you did and do and is your purpose behind the affair, as well as expressing no regret but actually the opposite... You say it's justified because his future wife is ugly and you enjoy it.

 

We're no different in the action of having an affair, but our motivations for it are completely different. That was Goody's point. Just because we did the same thing doesn't mean that every situation is created equal.

 

We aren't condemning you for having an affair, we're saying that your announcing all the things you announce and then pointing at other women who had an affair and claiming that was our motivation too is not accurate.

Does it matter though in the end you did the same thing.

I'm not even saying I want to keep having affairs because it sucks. But the point is you met your husband by sleeping with him while he was married... If it worked for you..

Edited October 26, 2014 by KeepCalmCarryOn

[Redheaded Mistress]

Does it matter though in the end you did the same thing.

 

That's the point... We did not do the same thing at all.

 

The very fact that emotion and love was the reason behind the affair, our divorces, and your remarriage whereas you freely admit your affair(s) are because you want to find a husband, you don't really like the guy you're sleeping with, and you view it as an ego boost to steal away a man from an "ugly" fiance, a man who you're delighted uses you and you fantasize about him coming to you after they're married, while she's pregnant, and while she's building a family. What was it you said? You felt like you need to "knock her down a few pegs?"

 

That is very different from Goody's affair, or mine, which (again) was the point. I think you'll find very few women on here who said they got with their MM despite knowing he's using them and she doesn't even like him so that they can knock a woman who thinks she has it all (and hasn't even met) down a few pegs.

 

I'm not even saying I want to keep having affairs because it sucks. But the point is you met your husband by sleeping with him while he was married... If it worked for you..

 

I met my husband by falling in love with him while he was married. And, again, one would say that even if we divorced our spouses to be together, this wasn't a "it worked for you" sort of scenario. It meant divorces, it meant his messy divorce and dealing with behavior from his ex.

 

We are the exception, not the rule. And when your over-reaching attitude is you'll sell yourself out to a man regardless of if he's married or if you care about him because you want to find a husband and you don't care who, that will never be your exception.

 

Us having what you're calling "successful" results is not why you have an affair. It's the excuse you're using for this thread to justify this week why you're having an affair with a guy who you say treats you like trash and you don't like.

Edited October 26, 2014 by Redheaded Mistress

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

That's the point... We did not do the same thing at all.

 

The very fact that emotion and love was the reason behind the affair, our divorces, and your remarriage whereas you freely admit your affair(s) are because you want to find a husband, you don't really like the guy you're sleeping with, and you view it as an ego boost to steal away a man from an "ugly" fiance, a man who you're delighted uses you and you fantasize about him coming to you after they're married, while she's pregnant, and while she's building a family. What was it you said? You felt like you need to "knock her down a few pegs?"

 

That is very different from Goody's affair, or mine, which (again) was the point. I think you'll find very few women on here who said they got with their MM despite knowing he's using them and she doesn't even like him so that they can knock a woman who thinks she has it all (and hasn't even met) down a few pegs.

 

 

 

I met my husband by falling in love with him while he was married. And, again, one would say that even if we divorced our spouses to be together, this wasn't a "it worked for you" sort of scenario. It meant divorces, it meant his messy divorce and dealing with behavior from his ex.

 

We are the exception, not the rule. And when your over-reaching attitude is you'll sell yourself out to a man regardless of if he's married or if you care about him because you want to find a husband and you don't care who, that will never be your exception.

 

Us having what you're calling "successful" results is not why you have an affair. It's the excuse you're using for this thread to justify this week why you're having an affair with a guy who you say treats you like trash and you don't like.

I don't love him, I like him as a person if i didn't I wouldn't have gotten involved with him. So you just fell in love with your married man on sight? It doesn't even matter it's still wrong and you're just as bad you just got lucky and he married you. I don't want to be the exception because I would never trust a man who cheats on his wife, or fiancee. You lose them how you get them... Just saying.

[Redheaded Mistress]

I don't love him, I like him as a person if i didn't I wouldn't have gotten involved with him.

 

Not only does this conflict with what you've said before, most people only sleep with people they have some feelings for.

 

So you just fell in love with your married man on sight?

 

No. There was attraction at first sight, but that was not pursued. After a few months, we became friends, friends led to an EA, EA led to PA. By the time the PA happened, we were at feelings above "like."

 

It doesn't even matter it's still wrong and you're just as bad you just got lucky and he married you.

 

Totally agree. We could have been yet another couple in an affair that truly did love each other but never left their spouses and spent years, if not longer, dealing with sad regret, pain, and unhappiness. For ourselves and our BS's. We're even more exceptionally lucky that we divorced, got together, and didn't find out that we were completely mismatched, incompatible, and break up shortly after. Or years after. Were are so stupidly lucky we are each other's best fit and sole mates. Ridiculously, stupidly, defying-the-odds lucky.

 

I don't want to be the exception because I would never trust a man who cheats on his wife, or fiancee. You lose them how you get them... Just saying.

 

If you really felt that way then why, just two posts ago, were you saying that our result could be yours too?

 

You don't need to worry about us having an affair again. It was a one-time thing that we had with each other and neither one of us would ever, ever cheat again. Like I said, our situation and circumstances are very different... This was Goody's point, this was my point as well. The similarities and differences behind why we have affairs was the whole point of the thread. And it's why those of us who've come forward with different reasons for our affairs than yours are saying that like we speak for only a segment of people... Most likely generally committed, monogamous people having either an exit affair or a genuine connection that led to an affair and then a divorce... Whereas you speak for another... People in a revenge/conquest affair who like the thrill of the hunt and the forbidden nature and sense of victory of the bedding somebody who belongs to somebody who is presumed to be inferior.

Edited October 26, 2014 by Redheaded Mistress

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

Not only does this conflict with what you've said before, most people only sleep with people they have some feelings for.

 

 

 

No. There was attraction at first sight, but that was not pursued. After a few months, we became friends, friends led to an EA, EA led to PA. By the time the PA happened, we were at feelings above "like."

 

 

 

Totally agree. We could have been yet another couple in an affair that truly did love each other but never left their spouses and spent years, if not longer, dealing with sad regret, pain, and unhappiness. For ourselves and our BS's. We're even more exceptionally lucky that we divorced, got together, and didn't find out that we were completely mismatched, incompatible, and break up shortly after. Or years after.

 

 

 

If you really felt that way then why, just two posts ago, were you saying that our result could be yours too?

 

You don't need to worry about us having an affair again. It was a one-time thing that we had with each other and neither one of us would ever, ever cheat again. Like I said, our situation and circumstances are very different... This was Goody's point, this was my point as well. The similarities and differences behind why we have affairs was the whole point of the thread. And it's why those of us who've come forward with different reasons for our affairs than yours are saying that like we speak for only a segment of people... Most likely generally committed, monogamous people having either an exit affair or a genuine connection that led to an affair and then a divorce... Whereas you speak for another... People in a revenge/conquest affair who like the thrill of the hunt and the forbidden nature and sense of victory of the bedding somebody who belongs to somebody who is presumed to be inferior.

 

Like I said YOU LOSE THEM HOW YOU GET THEM.

 

My result couldn't be with him. It could be with someone else but I don't want to get into an affair it's too rough.

 

As far as I'm concerned it just makes any advice you give useless because you don't get it. You screwed a married man and he left his family for you that's like... Awful. Not necessarily useless but like you did what you're saying not to do. It's a teen mom telling her teen to not get pregnant, why listen to that? It's even worse that you were married too like you had a hisnamd and the dream and you intentionally ruined it. That's awful

Edited October 26, 2014 by KeepCalmCarryOn

[ComingInHot]

Does it matter though in the end you did the same thing.

I'm not even saying I want to keep having affairs because it sucks. But the point is you met your husband by sleeping with him while he was married... If it worked for you..

 

 

The A was the same thing. It destroyed people and families yes. BUT... DO NOT lump yourself in with Goody and Red. They didn't sleep around with Married and engaged men to 'get one up on' women they were jealous of, and they would never boast it either because that is not who they are (I don't think).

 

I think that cheating with a married person is the most abominable act a person can do to another aside fromrape and murder. It goes against the very fundamental human instinct that I have.

 

My belief is that women who do are in a 'weak and vulnerable' place whether they realize it or not. From that real emotions develop that are quite strong. From there who knows what will happen. Hopefully the ow will get the mm because the Wife DUMPS his a$$. If a genuine relationship is built after that, great for everyone although the brokenness will leave scars on all forever.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

The A was the same thing. It destroyed people and families yes. BUT... DO NOT lump yourself in with Goody and Red. They didn't sleep around with Married and engaged men to 'get one up on' women they were jealous of, and they would never boast it either because that is not who they are (I don't think).

 

I think that cheating with a married person is the most abominable act a person can do to another aside fromrape and murder. It goes against the very fundamental human instinct that I have.

 

My belief is that women who do are in a 'weak and vulnerable' place whether they realize it or not. From that real emotions develop that are quite strong. From there who knows what will happen. Hopefully the ow will get the mm because the Wife DUMPS his a$$. If a genuine relationship is built after that, great for everyone although the brokenness will leave scars on all forever.

I've never slept with s married man first of all, second I didn't initially do it to get one up on his at the time gf. It just happened. I kept it going for that reason. I didn't ignore his texts for that reason

[ComingInHot]

I've never slept with s married man first of all, second I didn't initially do it to get one up on his at the time gf. It just happened. I kept it going for that reason. I didn't ignore his texts for that reason

 

 

What's your point? Sex or no sex it's still cheating. The topic is why do ya'll do it, NOT compare yourselves...

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

What's your point? Sex or no sex it's still cheating. The topic is why do ya'll do it, NOT compare yourselves...

 

I know the topic sweetie.

The point is don't throw stones if you live in a glass house. Ok. #churchhands #amen

[ComingInHot]

I know the topic sweetie.

The point is don't throw stones if you live in a glass house. Ok. #churchhands #amen

 

 

...k pumpkin. .. And noones throwing stones, just answering the topic and discussing how I'm always right. *LOL*

 

That last bit was a a joke if you weren't quite certain...

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

...k pumpkin. .. And noones throwing stones, just answering the topic and discussing how I'm always right. *LOL*

 

That last bit was a a joke if you weren't quite certain...

 

Got it.

[ComingInHot]

I actually DO have a question regarding the topic...

 

Could it be possible that the OW (or some OW's) see the 'stability' that is pictured in the MM's life, the part that society sees at least?

I know that the picture put out for the world to see can make some women who have been raised a certain way say, hey thats what I am supposed to have and he can give it to me. Sad truth is, when a Husband cheats, that whole front he shows to the world is then known to be a big fat lie...

 

OP sorry things went OT, I'm from playing defense

[Redheaded Mistress]

Like I said YOU LOSE THEM HOW YOU GET THEM.

 

If that were true, then my first husband and I wouldn't have divorced because of an affair. We didn't have an affair to start, but that's how I lost him. With my husband now, I'm not at all worried about history repeating itself... It was so awful for both of us and caused so much hurt for everybody that we'd take a flying leap off a tall building before putting each other through that again.

 

My result couldn't be with him. It could be with someone else but I don't want to get into an affair it's too rough.

 

But you didn't want to be with him you said because you didn't have feelings for him and he didn't really like you...? And you're involved in an affair now, or if not now, you were until very, very recently.

 

As far as I'm concerned it just makes any advice you give useless because you don't get it.

 

I think I get it better than you're willing to give me credit for. I think the reason I get it so much is why you're so upset.

 

You screwed a married man and he left his family for you that's like... Awful.

 

I fell in love with a married man, we had an affair. We were not "screwing." We divorced our partners after a lot of pain, heartache, and mess and we got together. While he didn't leave his family as we still see his children extremely often, he did leave his marriage. And I agree, that was bloody awful.

 

Not necessarily useless but like you did what you're saying not to do. It's a teen mom telling her teen to not get pregnant, why listen to that?

 

Because as somebody who's been there, done that, lived the life and the consequences and knows that even with the happy ending, it took a lot of nightmares to get there, she knows that it's not something she wants for her daughter. Just like with me, I've done it, lived it, and even despite the outcome you're calling "ideal," I know it was a traumatic disaster for quite awhile.

 

It's even worse that you were married too like you had a hisnamd and the dream and you intentionally ruined it. That's awful

 

I agree, my first husband was a good man and even though we were unhappy, he deserved better. Either by me divorcing him and moving on, or by not marring him in the first place. We were on the path to divorce anyway, but it was my leaving that ended it for sure. It was my affair that caused us to not really try and fix it, me because I'd left and he because he knew I had with somebody else what I didn't have with him. Our divorce wasn't acrimonious, but when I left, I cried. When I was served with papers, I was extremely upset. When I signed, it broke my heart. When I met him and our pet for the last time to get stuff, it was a pain I'd never felt before or since. It was awful. Beyond awful. They haven't invented the word for how awful it was yet. They really haven't.

 

You keep throwing this stuff in my face as an attempt to shame me, to discredit me, but the problem is you're not saying anything I haven't realized already and either accepted (after struggling awhile), or reconciled through trying to fix in what meager ways I can fix what I screwed up.

 

This is why I'm saying... Not all affairs are created equal. You have no remorse in your affair, which was a conquest affair devoid of mutual affection or respect and didn't give you results you think are "ideal." I had an affair that centered on emotion, got me a result you consider ideal, and I have a lot of regrets and remorse over what we did. I think the irony of you shouting that I'm this, that, and the other for what I did, while simultaneously saying you are exempt from those outcomes because you didn't care anyway isn't lost on anybody.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

If that were true, then my first husband and I wouldn't have divorced because of an affair. We didn't have an affair to start, but that's how I lost him. With my husband now, I'm not at all worried about history repeating itself... It was so awful for both of us and caused so much hurt for everybody that we'd take a flying leap off a tall building before putting each other through that again.

 

 

 

But you didn't want to be with him you said because you didn't have feelings for him and he didn't really like you...? And you're involved in an affair now, or if not now, you were until very, very recently.

 

 

 

I think I get it better than you're willing to give me credit for. I think the reason I get it so much is why you're so upset.

 

 

 

I fell in love with a married man, we had an affair. We were not "screwing." We divorced our partners after a lot of pain, heartache, and mess and we got together. While he didn't leave his family as we still see his children extremely often, he did leave his marriage. And I agree, that was bloody awful.

 

 

 

Because as somebody who's been there, done that, lived the life and the consequences and knows that even with the happy ending, it took a lot of nightmares to get there, she knows that it's not something she wants for her daughter. Just like with me, I've done it, lived it, and even despite the outcome you're calling "ideal," I know it was a traumatic disaster for quite awhile.

 

 

 

I agree, my first husband was a good man and even though we were unhappy, he deserved better. Either by me divorcing him and moving on, or by not marring him in the first place. We were on the path to divorce anyway, but it was my leaving that ended it for sure. It was my affair that caused us to not really try and fix it, me because I'd left and he because he knew I had with somebody else what I didn't have with him. Our divorce wasn't acrimonious, but when I left, I cried. When I was served with papers, I was extremely upset. When I signed, it broke my heart. When I met him and our pet for the last time to get stuff, it was a pain I'd never felt before or since. It was awful. Beyond awful. They haven't invented the word for how awful it was yet. They really haven't.

 

You keep throwing this stuff in my face as an attempt to shame me, to discredit me, but the problem is you're not saying anything I haven't realized already and either accepted (after struggling awhile), or reconciled through trying to fix in what meager ways I can fix what I screwed up.

 

This is why I'm saying... Not all affairs are created equal. You have no remorse in your affair, which was a conquest affair devoid of mutual affection or respect and didn't give you results you think are "ideal." I had an affair that centered on emotion, got me a result you consider ideal, and I have a lot of regrets and remorse over what we did. I think the irony of you shouting that I'm this, that, and the other for what I did, while simultaneously saying you are exempt from those outcomes because you didn't care anyway isn't lost on anybody.

 

Ok whatever I'm over this convo. You don't get it. You destroyed someone... No 2 people's lives and you get to just walk away happy and married to the guy. That's ****ty

[Redheaded Mistress]

The A was the same thing. It destroyed people and families yes. BUT... DO NOT lump yourself in with Goody and Red. They didn't sleep around with Married and engaged men to 'get one up on' women they were jealous of, and they would never boast it either because that is not who they are (I don't think).

 

No, I didn't. I admit, and I don't mean this in a flattering or endearing way, but when our relationship was just a friendship which I know acknowledge was probably an EA, I know I didn't think it would turn into what it did. And when it did turn into a PA, when it started, I didn't think of her at all... And I don't mean this as it being a positive character trait. I mean it to mean it's a severe character deficit. I should of thought of her, but I didn't. I should have thought of his family. I didn't.

 

Therapy, confrontations, and apologies, letters and sucking up my pride to take punches from her, her family, her friends, his friends, his families, and his co-workers put me at the start of the road to fix what I broke. I still don't like her for what she did to me or my husband and I haven't forgiven her. I personally don't think she's a great person. But every time I see her, the kids, or her and the kids I bend overbackwards to try and fix things... Why? Because it was about me during the affair, the divorce. I didn't think of her. I took away what she deserved in the whole process, which was the ending of her marriage naturally, without embarrassment or indignity. I can't fix that. Ever. All I can do is try to fix the results of that however I can. I don't have to like her, but I do have to try and give her what she needs to move on with the life I changed by having an affair with her husband, and I do owe it to her to treat her with dignity. Not because I think she's such a great woman who deserves it, but because everybody deserves to be treated with respect. I didn't. And I caused her embarrassment that further chipped at her dignity. She didn't deserve that either.

 

I. Screwed. Up.

 

Even now, I'm still the big loser in this situation because even saying all the above, knowing how bad it was, I still can't say that I would have done things differently or if I had it to do over, I wouldn't do it again... So even with all this, the fact that I can still even say the above means that I have a lot to fix with her, me, and the situation because there's still a core piece of me that truly doesn't get it.

Edited October 26, 2014 by Redheaded Mistress

[Redheaded Mistress]

Ok whatever I'm over this convo. You don't get it. You destroyed someone... No 2 people's lives and you get to just walk away happy and married to the guy. That's ****ty

 

I said above that I know a core part of me must still not get it.

 

I admitted my actions did temporarily destroy two people.

 

Nobody "just walked away happy." Not even me.

 

Yet, you've said that's what you want for yourself too. So what makes it s****y is not that it happened to or for me, but that it didn't happen for you despite your best efforts.

 

It all ties back to the original question of "why?" Because your "why" and my "why" are just so completely different.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

I said above that I know a core part of me must still not get it.

 

I admitted my actions did temporarily destroy two people.

 

Nobody "just walked away happy." Not even me.

 

Yet, you've said that's what you want for yourself too. So what makes it s****y is not that it happened to or for me, but that it didn't happen for you despite your best efforts.

 

It all ties back to the original question of "why?" Because your "why" and my "why" are just so completely different.

 

I still disagree, the fact of the matter is you had an affair, you hooked up with a taken man. That is just as bad as what I did. You kept it going, I didn't.

[ComingInHot]

No, I didn't. I admit, and I don't mean this in a flattering or endearing way, but when our relationship was just a friendship which I know acknowledge was probably an EA, I know I didn't think it would turn into what it did. And when it did turn into a PA, when it started, I didn't think of her at all... And I don't mean this as it being a positive character trait. I mean it to mean it's a severe character deficit. I should of thought of her, but I didn't. I should have thought of his family. I didn't.

 

Therapy, confrontations, and apologies, letters and sucking up my pride to take punches from her, her family, her friends, his friends, his families, and his co-workers put me at the start of the road to fix what I broke. I still don't like her for what she did to me or my husband and I haven't forgiven her. I personally don't think she's a great person. But every time I see her, the kids, or her and the kids I bend overbackwards to try and fix things... Why? Because it was about me during the affair, the divorce. I didn't think of her. I took away what she deserved in the whole process, which was the ending of her marriage naturally, without embarrassment or indignity. I can't fix that. Ever. All I can do is try to fix the results of that however I can. I don't have to like her, but I do have to try and give her what she needs to move on with the life I changed by having an affair with her husband, and I do owe it to her to treat her with dignity. Not because I think she's such a great woman who deserves it, but because everybody deserves to be treated with respect. I didn't. And I caused her embarrassment that further chipped at her dignity. She didn't deserve that either.

 

I. Screwed. Up.

 

Even now, I'm still the big loser in this situation because even saying all the above, knowing how bad it was, I still can't say that I would have done things differently or if I had it to do over, I wouldn't do it again... So even with all this, the fact that I can still even say the above means that I have a lot to fix with her, me, and the situation because there's still a core piece of me that truly doesn't get it.

 

 

Red, you and I will always disagree about cheating and screwing with a family. And that's okay. I pray to GOD you are never treated in kind and I sincerely mean that.

 

The reason you cheated is that you ALLOWED feelings to develop and didn't stop them when you acknowledged them. That answerws the topic question in your stitch. You didn't continue with the A to feel lime you were the better woman. To me that's just crazy thinking anyway.

I was defending both you and Goody. I know you don't need it nor probably want it from miss perfect CiH (not ) but when I see someone being wrongly accused, it's hard for me to be quiet...

[Redheaded Mistress]

I still disagree, the fact of the matter is you had an affair, you hooked up with a taken man. That is just as bad as what I did. You kept it going, I didn't.

 

Only because you couldn't. Not because you also didn't want to. On your other thread, you fantasized about him coming to you after she was married to him, after she was pregnant, after she had the baby, and for the duration of her marriage.

 

Red, you and I will always disagree about cheating and screwing with a family. And that's okay. I pray to GOD you are never treated in kind and I sincerely mean that.

 

I don't think we disagree. I think it wasn't right. It really wasn't. I see what I did done by somebody else, it's hard to excuse. It's just as hard for me. The ends didn't justify the means.

 

And thank you. Like I said, neither one of us would ever cheat again.

 

The reason you cheated is that you ALLOWED feelings to develop and didn't stop them when you acknowledged them. That answerws the topic question in your stitch. You didn't continue with the A to feel lime you were the better woman. To me that's just crazy thinking anyway.

 

I'm not sure how I can answer that... I don't think that we allowed feelings to develop, I honestly think they just did. What allowed the affair was that we didn't say know and went purely by those emotions without thinking beyond that.

 

I was defending both you and Goody. I know you don't need it nor probably want it from miss perfect CiH (not ) but when I see someone being wrongly accused, it's hard for me to be quiet...

 

I know you were defending and thank you... I know it wasn't because I needed it, but I think we both saw that I wasn't being clear and the intent was lost in translation.

 

I guess that goes to show, when even OW discuss why they do what they do, they can't agree on the "whys."