thaohaitrieu8 Posted October 25, 2014 Posted October 25, 2014 My story begins about 2 weeks ago, when my waiter at a restaurant said that another waitress thought I was cute. He coaxed her into giving me her number. Long story short, we texted for about a week (because she was in Hawaii) and really hit it off. We would send each other these massive novel length responses. It was great. We have the same sense of humor, say the same things almost at the same time and make the same jokes, etc. Even her co-worker said we talk and think the same. I believe this to be the case, mostly, but I will admit that we are different in a lot of respects. Our first date was magic. It lasted 9 hours. Dinner, failed activity (which was fun) and then the beach. Our second date was 15 hours long, talking and laughing most of the time. We cuddled on her couch at the end of the date and talked/slept. No sex. Fast forward to yesterday. I had breakfast with her at her house which was technically our third date. Last night, she came over to my house for our 4th date. I made her dinner. We had a great time, same chemistry and same atmosphere. We were cuddling in my room and we both started talking about the elephant in the room, something that we both wanted to deny -- she was leaving for school at the end of this month. We both knew this going into it, and we had a conversation about us both not being stupid, but spending time with each other anyways. At the end of the conversation, entwined as we were in my bed, we both decided that basically this would be the last time hanging out together. If we continued to hang out, our logic said that we would just deepen what we "have" and it would be harder to say good-bye. I asked her if she wanted to rip off the bandaid or go at it gradutally, etc. and she said to rip it of. Here's what you guys need to know: -It's mutual. I do NOT want a long distance relationship, especially because of her age (20) and my age (24) and the fact that she will be going away to school. -I don't feel like either of us was dishonest to one another about the cause of breaking it off. We did move fast in certain areas, but she was comfortable with all of it. She even looked up at the ceiling and almost cursed god because of the timing of when we met, etc. -The school thing was always in the back of her mind and it bothered her, but when she told me she was much more affectionate and relaxed. -She openly stated that she didn't want to move to school, that it was causing her an inordinate amount of stress and that her dad was pushing her into it. I offered counter suggestions to going to this school, etc., with the intent that she does what's best for herself, taking me out of the equation. Look, I know I've only known this girl for 2 or 2 and a half weeks and have only hung out with her off and on for a week, but we made a real connection. Walking her to her car for the last time this morning was absolutely terrible. I feel sad. So, here's where I need advice. I've already deleted and hidden all of the photos on my phone so I can't see them. Should I block her number, delete all of her calls and texts and go No Contact? We left off saying that if we needed each other, we could always call one another. While this is true, I really care about her and will miss her texts, etc. I don't think I could stand not knowing if she texted me or not, but the idea of being anxious every time I get a text is intolerable, at least until that goes away. Also, if I don't block her then there is always the weird "hope" thing that goes into it. What if she texts me saying she made a mistake and wants to hang out before she leaves? What if she texts me during thanksgiving and wants to hang out because she's here for break? Etc. Please let me know what you guys think.
quidproquo89 Posted October 25, 2014 Posted October 25, 2014 I would programme yourself to move on to other women and start thinking forward. But you can keep her number. Contact is up to you, maybe casual to keep contact but dont spent too much time chatting coz it wont help. I take it she is defintely going? And you definitely don't want a long distance thing?
SycamoreCircle Posted October 25, 2014 Posted October 25, 2014 As amazing as you think the connection, a young woman going off to college is essentially entering a man market. She will meet more men, go to more parties, have more offers than you can wave a stick at. And at that age very little keeps away the "yes Suitor A is nice, but Suitor B is even nicer" mentality. If you want to keep the door open, do so. But I wouldn't build any Saturday night shrines to this girl.
Arieswoman Posted October 25, 2014 Posted October 25, 2014 thaohaitrieu8, You've only known this girl about 3 weeks and already you have your boxers in a knot ? It's mutual. I do NOT want a long distance relationship, especially because of her age (20) and my age (24) and the fact that she will be going away to school. You have both agreed on this ^^^ So let it be and move on. Sadly the timing was wrong, sometimes it happens that way. Also, if I don't block her then there is always the weird "hope" thing that goes into it. What if she texts me saying she made a mistake and wants to hang out before she leaves? What if she texts me during thanksgiving and wants to hang out because she's here for break? Etc. Exactly, that's why you must block her. You don't want to be part of her back-up plan do you, just filling in the time before she goes away? We left off saying that if we needed each other, we could always call one another. No! Absolutely NO! - all that does is screw up the both of you. Go NC and accept that it wasn't meant to be. Good luck. 1
Jules Dash Posted October 25, 2014 Posted October 25, 2014 Often you have to just appreciate the situation for what it is. A two week fling with a lot of intimacy is great for what it is. You can look back on it 20 years from now and it will bring a smile to your face. Your goal is to collect a bunch of memories like this and look back onto them 50 years from now and say "I had a good life." Why damage this by throwing away your memorabilia such as photos and her number? Just move on and keep the memory. Sometimes an impending barrier to further developing a relationship can be exactly what makes a relationship so enjoyable. The barrier can take a lot of pressure away from the dates. If she was not going away for school this might have been a very different story.
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