enchanted771 Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I'm seeing this guy and originally were just friends but he Keeps throwing me hints he likes me as more. He's insecure, and I'm Used to guys pursuing me more aggressively and just Coming out and saying " hey I like you, we should become exclusive" or something to that effect. I've been seeing him about 7 weeks and everytime it's the same hints that he likes me as more and trying to find out if I've been dating. He came out and told me he hasn't. I am just wondering if I need to come out and say hey, I like you but I'm looking for something more long term with someone. Or if I need to let him step up to the plate. Just seems he's going to keep throwing hints at me Until I admit something. I just think if a guy likes a woman he should Express it. I don't take hints well.
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 If you like the guy enough YOU WILL step up to the plate. If you don't want to do that, then this type of guy is not for you and you should just stop wasting your time hoping for something to happen. 2
Keenly Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 If you like him why aren't you doing something about it? You can sit there and do nothing and complain about it or you can go up to him and kiss him and watch his face turn bright red. Its really up to you, but if you do nothing then nothing is going to happen. 2
d0nnivain Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 Since you know he's insecure if you like him, throw him a bone & make things easier on him. You start the conversation but assure him that it's a safe space for him to express his feelings & desires. 1
Assasda Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 You never described any insecurity with him. The fact is that, you like this guy. You cant read his mind about you. So you should step up to the plate yourself Ahh... I think it is you with the insecurity OP 1
preraph Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 If you like him and his insecurity isn't a turnoff to you, then by all means take the bull by the horns. Now, me, I want a guy who isn't afraid of it or me or whatever it is making him insecure. Understand that I am insecure as well, but at the same time I do not let myself act insecure except at my very worst traumatic moments, like seeing my date out with another woman, if then. There's different degrees of insecure, and I think almost everyone can agree that at some point they've felt that insecurity, but for me, I want someone who has taken control of themselves and is able to power through it and isn't letting it hold them back. But that's a personal preference. 1
Frank2thepoint Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I've been seeing him about 7 weeks and everytime it's the same hints that he likes me as more and trying to find out if I've been dating. You've been seeing this guy for 7 weeks and you haven't said anything yourself. You can't expect him to step up to the plate if you are unwilling to as well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 If you like the guy enough YOU WILL step up to the plate. If you don't want to do that, then this type of guy is not for you and you should just stop wasting your time hoping for something to happen. I will when I see him again...I'm nervous but I have to do something.
Author enchanted771 Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 You've been seeing this guy for 7 weeks and you haven't said anything yourself. You can't expect him to step up to the plate if you are unwilling to as well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Well we have both been throwing hints. Guess it's time to start opening my mouth 1
Author enchanted771 Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 If you like him and his insecurity isn't a turnoff to you, then by all means take the bull by the horns. Now, me, I want a guy who isn't afraid of it or me or whatever it is making him insecure. Understand that I am insecure as well, but at the same time I do not let myself act insecure except at my very worst traumatic moments, like seeing my date out with another woman, if then. There's different degrees of insecure, and I think almost everyone can agree that at some point they've felt that insecurity, but for me, I want someone who has taken control of themselves and is able to power through it and isn't letting it hold them back. But that's a personal preference. I would prefer he did that but obviously he isn't really the take charge type. Well as far as his business yes. But even when deciding what to eat he's asking me. I'm pretty passive, but when he starts throwing hints I'm just going to be straight up with him. If he does nothing with it, then that's his loss but at least I tried.
Author enchanted771 Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 You never described any insecurity with him. The fact is that, you like this guy. You cant read his mind about you. So you should step up to the plate yourself Ahh... I think it is you with the insecurity OP I am a little yes. But as far as I knew he wanted us to be friends but lately seems to not be the case. He seems to interested in my dating life. 1
WhisperingEyeLFC Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I think you should maybe make things clearer for him so he knows for sure then you'll probably see a change. What kind of hints is he giving you?
Author enchanted771 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 I think you should maybe make things clearer for him so he knows for sure then you'll probably see a change. What kind of hints is he giving you? telling me things like he hasn't been dating lately, hasn't been on the dating site, etc. Says things to me like " I give up" then tells me I'm going to end up falling in love with him. I don't want to misinterpret anything or be naive, but if a person wants to keep things casual then I think he would make it clear he's dating and has other options. I know I would.
WhisperingEyeLFC Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 telling me things like he hasn't been dating lately, hasn't been on the dating site, etc. Says things to me like " I give up" then tells me I'm going to end up falling in love with him. I don't want to misinterpret anything or be naive, but if a person wants to keep things casual then I think he would make it clear he's dating and has other options. I know I would. hmm well if it's pretty obvious you both like each other by throwing hints both ways then one of you have got to say something otherwise it'll just become a game of who gives in first which is silly. You said he's insecure so maybe you should just put your self out there and actually tell him then he'll probably do the same. I understand that it's better for the man to do that but Life's too short for this, If you like each other then let each other know, there could be a possible good/long term relationship on the cards so in all honesty it doesn't matter who says what as long as you actually let each other know. Could end up being nothing & frustrating each other if it stays as it is for too long. Your decision though, Good Luck!
IronZ Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 OP, you are what's wrong with the dating culture. You KNOW for a fact this guy likes you, and YOU like him as well, but you're making no effort to actually do anything about it because of some societal prerequisite that guys need to make all the moves. He sounds like he's a little insecure or unsure of whether you like him or not. It can be really hard to read people sometimes, especially if there are feelings involved. That's why he's dropping clues. He wants you to pick up those clues and drop your own or lead the conversation there or say it yourself. Are you doing anything to further this endeavor? Or are you just sitting back and letting him stutter and saying nothing? If you like him, just TELL HIM! If you don't, tell him that and put him out of his misery. 1
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