WHY would you prefer an older/younger partner ? [Updated]

[MissPotato]

Hello, I'm just curious about this suject.

 

I would like you to explain here why you prefer to date a younger or an older partner (or the same age). Please try to be spontaneous and honest

 

I mean, since the age is JUST a number, what is the underlying reason you would better like a younger or an older partner? what are the qualities you expect younger/older men to have ? And if a partner does not have those qualities, would you still prefer him to be younger/older than you ? Why ?

 

For instance if I'd answer my own question, I'd say :

"I prefer older men because I feel better around them. In fact I feel more secure with them than with younger ones. This feeling of security is due to my fear of being rejected and changed for a younger one, because I think men usually prefer younger women. But if I was 100% sure that a guy who has the same age would never jilt me and would never prefer a younger one, would I always prefer an older one ? I don't think so, because I will keep being scared of getting old (because I'm nostalgic, because of the societ'y's perception...). Dating an older one makes me the younger one, so it makes me feel like i'm young. I associate beauty with youth and I want to be the younger one because I also want to be the prettier one in my couple. I feel more pretty and feminine when I'm around a guy who is losing his hair, or with any wrinkles or grey hair. Besides I like better being desired than being with a man I truly desire."

As a conclusion, my choice is quite narcissistic and insecure !

[WhatIsLove2014]

For me is older men...

 

I prefer older men because it is MORE LIKELY to find a mature one in the bunch. Obviously, like you said age is just a number...but it definitely more likely to find a mature guy 27+ than a mature one in the 18-26.

 

Nothing is a 100% as I have read throughout the board but that's my reasoning.

[Emilia]

You are working on the assumption that age is just a number while many of us believe that it isn't the case. I prefer men roughly my own age, tend to mesh with them well but because I'm 42, single men especially in reasonable condition are in short supply. Older doesn't interest me so I go for younger out of necessity. They are lovely but to be honest, I don't take their company for more than it's intended.

[Andy_K]

I prefer a younger woman, mostly because she's going to have more of her prettiest years ahead of her. For a LTR anyway. For just dating it doesn't matter.

 

It's that simple really. There is also the less significant effect that she is more likely to be picking someone she really wants, rather than 'settling' with the best she can get, but that pales in comparison.

[Gaeta]

Your taste in men will change through the years.

 

When I was a young woman I preferred older men because of their confidence and they were more serious about relationships. My ex-husband was 8 years older than I, my second long-term partner I met at the age of 33 was 12 years older.

 

Now since I am over 45 I prefer the company of younger men. They are more active, have a more positive outlook on life, they're not burnt and bitter like men 50 + .

[WhatIsLove2014]

I should have mentioned that I'm 23 so older to me is 27+

[Mascara]

I prefer men my own age because I like to feel that we have had a shared growing up among the same social/political/historical backdrop. I feel like I have more in common generally with people my own age. We remember the same music, fashions, struggles, fads, how things have changed, same nostalgia.

 

Like others, it never used to be like that. In my 20s, I went mainly for older men, men in their early 20s tended to be quite immature, or "laddish" as we say here.

 

But now I'm 43, those older men are well into their 50s and don't appeal at all. 38 to 48 was my chosen age range when I was dating, and my boyfriend now is at the lower end of that scale.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I don't have a hardcore preference. Meaning, I don't go out of my way to ONLY date one age bracket over another.

 

Despite my 45 years I am a vivacious woman with a lot of spunk and life left in her.

 

I'm in a really good place in my life emotionally, spiritually, financially, sexually and physically. I'm finally at that point in my life where I'm very comfortable in my own skin and with being authentically ME. It took a great many years to get here and therefore I'm very protective about maintaining these attributes which often dictates the type of company I keep, romantic or otherwise.

 

Any man who can keep up with me in all areas of my life is a keeper and age has very little to do with it. If we click, if we share common interests and goals, if he challenges me and keeps me interested and it feels right and makes us happy, I'm in with both feet.

 

Like Gaeta referenced, at this stage in my life it just so happens that many of the men I've dated happen to be younger than me (min 5+ years) if only because they have been the ones who've shown the same kind of zest for life as I have (as well as the same sex drive ).

 

[slizl]

I will get some flack for this but I like younger women (I am 35). For me, the ideal age is around 27-30. From my experience, the older the woman, the more guys have screwed them over emotionally and the more baggage they have. I have dated several women my age, and every single one of them has bebeen more than a little nuts. Not to say this is true for all women 35+, but from my experience, I simply prefer 27ish.

[Gloria25]

When I was younger, I dated older, NEVER younger than me, SOMETIMES closer to my age...

 

Why?

 

Experience, confidence...And yeah, what guy doesn't want a younger chick?

 

Now that I'm closing in on 40, I am not finding guys "older" than me as attractive - because they seem to just "look" their age. I mean, they get the whole "beer gut" and comb-over going on. I mean, seems like more pressure is put on us women to keep up our looks, and we are more accepting of guys just "aging".

 

I worked with a lady in her 50s who married a guy in his 60's and he looked like her father. She liked to hike, ride bikes and dude had a hearing aid and lower back pain. Plus, she was still working and he retired, so he was at home bored and wanted to travel - but she still had more time to go. She ended up moving where he wanted to go. I wonder if they're still together. I pray I don't end up like that.

 

Now, for the guys my age or older who "are" in some sort of shape? They seem to want younger than me and/or are playas - they stay in shape and keep up their appearance not cuz they do it for themselves, they do it for ego and how many chicks they can lay.

 

Now, I briefly was with a guy who was going on 50, but he was still so good looking. One day he was getting ready in his boxer-briefs and I just wanted to snap a picture and keep of him!!! We differed on some things, so it didn't work out

 

I am willing to go a little younger than me, but not too much. I don't want to be part of the whole "cougar" trend.

Edited October 24, 2014 by Gloria25

[Ruby Slippers]

For most of my life, I've had relationships with men right around my age. I've dated a few who were younger and older.

 

Generally, I prefer older men because they treat me better as a younger woman. Since I'm looking for husband and father material, I regard younger men with some degree of skepticism. I'm 38, and my best dating prospects right now seem to be 38-45. I would consider as young as 30, but anyone in the 30-38 range would have to be mature, serious, and ready for a real commitment.

[FitChick]

Speaking of middle aged men: I prefer someone younger than I because I'd hate to finally find someone worthwhile only to have him drop dead. Only half joking!

 

I don't want someone retired because I can't afford to support him, but if he had money, I couldn't afford to take a lot of time off work to play.

 

I prefer someone who hasn't let his health, looks and attitude age him which is the majority of 45+ men, sadly.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

No preferance with age, but find that the older seems to be more developed. body wise young vs older both feel the same, and their personality as well. I just don't understand the hangup with peeps asking is this too old or young for me. As long as your not after teens it is all good to me.

[mr_dave]

As a guy who is just over a quarter of a century old, I would probably say 22 ish. I guess it's because I would like a girlfriend who is mature, but at the same time still looks up to me in certain respects, and who also has her best years ahead of her. I want a woman who has picked me to be with in her prime, whilst she still has lots of options I guess.

[BluEyeL]

Yeah, I'm 42, my ex-H was just one year older. He cheated with a woman 10 years younger than me.

 

Now I prefer around my age, up to 50. I dated generally men from 44 through 46. My now BF is 49, oldest I've dated.

 

I came to terms with the fact that they won't look great anymore, they'll lose their hair and they'll have beer guts and I'm fine with that as long as there is emotional connection/attraction, character, stability, treat me respectfully etc.

 

I didn't know before, but although I have initial preferences (tall, not much beer gut, fit, not too skinny etc), from what I noticed that at least for me, looks don't matter one bit anymore once I'm attached. I'm Ok with the balding and the belly and the hairy, because if I'm in love, I love his imperfections too, because they're his.

 

If they are too old....I don't know, I'm afraid of health issues mainly.

 

Too young...not trusting they want long term with me, and worried I'll be too old for them as time passes.

[BlueIris]

Gotta admit I prefer to date older men, simply because every time I’ve dated my age or younger, they’ve wanted to date younger women. Just the way it worked out. Older men seem to appreciate me more. Also, and I’m just talking generalities and percentages now, but the men 40-50 are more likely to have minor children and the 50-65 set tends not to. The 50's are the New Freedom years. Kids are great but mine are grown and I have a low tolerance for power struggles and nit-picking with ex’s and drama with teenagers. Probably no tolerance. I adore men with grown stable children.

[StanMusial]

I have to admit I didn't get serious about settling down until I was in my mid 30's. I actually like women my age (39) but honestly I just wasn't meeting any without baggage. I just felt like divorcees and single mothers etc. were just further along in life than me. I'm never married, no kids, good career and prospects in life. Anyway my fiance is 28 and the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm not some playboy that chases young tail either, I was skeptical actually when we met but after I got to know her everything clicked.

[gaius]

I just seem to get along better with older women in general. I always enjoyed conversing more with my friends mom's than I did with my friends growing up and as a result they became my first sexual fantasies. And that's followed me into adulthood.

[most_distant_galaxy]

I find myself more attracted to someone close to my age (late 20ies), or someone younger. I just prefer the way they look, I feel I have more in common. I think I'm quite immature, in many topics.

 

I rarely find an older man (10+ years) attractive. They usuallyawaken a "dad" feeling to me. I feel like I don't have things in common with the older men. I don't like how they can be patronizing, or "know" everything about life and give unsolicited advice here and there.

[Negative Nancy]

I never had a preference, but I've been with someone who is 7 years younger than me and from the first moment it was and still is after 3 years. In some aspects he is more mature than I am so it evens out, and there is a physical, spiritual and emotional connection unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I do worry about me being older, of course, but I've also seen cases where an older man leaves his younger wife for another young woman (just looking at this forum is proof enough) so it could happen with anyone. A 40 year old might also find that I'm too old looking in my now 30s and leave me for someone in their 20s, so the risk is always there either way.

[bastus]

older women, they are my ultimate sexual fantasy..

[MissPotato]

You are working on the assumption that age is just a number while many of us believe that it isn't the case.

 

Just to be clear : age is the number and I can't imagine that some people fantasize about figures, even if they are passionate mathematicians . My question is, what are the qualities you expect an older/younger partner to have ?

For example, if you like better a seasoned lover, you are likely to chose an older one because you think that a 50 year old man is **usually** more experienced than a 30 one...

[Michelle ma Belle]

Just to be clear : age is the number and I can't imagine that some people fantasize about figures, even if they are passionate mathematicians . My question is, what are the qualities you expect an older/younger partner to have ?

For example, if you like better a seasoned lover, you are likely to chose an older one because you think that a 50 year old man is **usually** more experienced than a 30 one...

 

Haha yes you might think such a thing but that isn't necessarily the case. Sometimes those "seasoned" lovers are really just older men with even older moves. I'm all for an old fashioned chivalrous romance but there is something infinitely more attractive about someone who is eager to please, happy to learn and willing to play outside the box

 

And that was not the case with the "older" men I personally dated and bedded. Having more lovers does not necessarily make one a good lover.

Edited October 26, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle

[readynow]

I'm in a relationship with a much older man.

From when I got married in my early 20s to a child in his late 20s, who still wanted to chase chicks and party with the boys all weekend, it just completely put me of young guys.

 

To answer the question, I'm in my 30s and won't date a man younger, my age or close to because I'd see them as quite inexperienced in life, many never married, still either has no kids or young kids or just fresh out of relationship drama where I've finished with all that. So I expect (rightly or wrongly) that younger guys will be that way.

 

I chose an older man because apart from the fact that I am physically attracted to a guy who's got 'life' written on his face, a man older than me is usually self assured and confident, they've gone through life and tons of ups and downs and I can just enjoy the peace and quiet of now. I imagine they're better in relationships, nothing fazes them, more generous, more eager to please.

 

I don't know about others' experiences with men in their 50s but my guy is very healthy, 2020 vision while I'm blind without my contacts, he's got a great physique, tall and lean, has all his hair, extremely active, does most sports where I'm just lazy really, he is AMAZING in bed, always pleases me and willing to try new things. He's always happy to let me have my way in most things and doesn't sweat the small stuff because for some reason, he puts things better in perspective than I do.

 

Of course this doesn't apply to all older men so date at your own risk!

 

So, that's why I'll always choose an older man.

[sillyanswer]

I mean, since the age is JUST a number, what is the underlying reason you would better like a younger or an older partner?

 

That's a false premise, and people having preferences is the proof of that.

 

Anyway, to answer the main question, I prefer dating people around my age or in the decade below my age, for the reasons that those are the people I find myself attracted to and that those are the people who volunteer to date me. I have some, but not much, experience of dating people outside that range in both directions. My age begins with a 4.