heatherxx2 Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 I need help trying to figure out if this could be on the lines of emotional abuse. Here's an email from my x, it's been almost a year since we broke up, we've talked on and off, but I finally said no more. But he contacted me on what would have been 5 year anniversary, I caved and wrote back. Everyone thinks his manipulating me, I need some other input, beside from my friends and family. Here's the an email: I don't particularly expect you ever to truly forgive me. And that quote is exactly what I did to you in the past. But I truly don't want to do that to you now. Honestly, I don't care if you forgive me half as much as I want you not to have bad feelings over me. I am not saying bad feelings towards me, you can have those. But I don't want you to feel pain when you think of me or talk to me or what have you. Does that make sense? I am not sure it does. As far as wanting anything other than you as my friend? I guess you could say I was trying to greedily gain your forgiveness to make myself feel better. I don't care about your forgiveness. Not anymore, not really. I don't mean that to sound bad, but I can't expect you to forgive me. My biggest problem is forgiving myself and being honest with myself over the things I have done, and try desperately not to continue doing. And you are right not to trust me. I barely trust myself anymore. I do not believe I can honestly change. Not easily and not quickly, all I can do for now is TRY. Try to do better and be better. And, oddly enough, I have to admit selfishness in trying, because I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to be happy and the only way to do that is to learn how to be better and then do it. My Grandma (dad's mom, the mean one) died a couple weeks ago, and although I felt little remorse in her passing because she was never very nice to me, I sat at that church and I thought, She wasn't nice to me, but did that give me a right not to be nice to her? I don't know, a tricky thing all around. But I also don't want to end up like her. Stubborn and "right" about everything but no friends and my family disliking me. That isn't a good way to be.
Tiger-Lily Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 Hi I'm really sorry but you need to let sleeping dogs lie. After reading that letter he e.mailed you, I felt his bitterness. I think if you allow him back into your life he will hurt you again, and again, and again, and again. You need to close the door for good! [color=red]"He who allows himself to be insulted, deserves to be."[/color] Please don't be that someone.
Donut Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 He's feeling sorry for himself and wants to make HIMSELF feel better, not you. Let it be.
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