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Give him a second chance at friendship?


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Posted

I need help trying to figure out if this could be on the lines of emotional abuse. Here's an email from my x, it's been almost a year since we broke up, we've talked on and off, but I finally said no more. But he contacted me on what would have been 5 year anniversary, I caved and wrote back. Everyone thinks his manipulating me, I need some other input, beside from my friends and family.

 

Here's the an email: I don't particularly expect you ever to truly forgive me. And that quote is exactly what I did to you in the past. But I truly don't want to do that to you now. Honestly, I don't care if you forgive me half as much as I want you not to have bad feelings over me. I am not saying bad feelings towards me, you can have those. But I don't want you to feel pain when you think of me or talk to me or what have you. Does that make sense? I am not sure it does.

 

As far as wanting anything other than you as my friend? I guess you could say I was trying to greedily gain your forgiveness to make myself feel better. I don't care about your forgiveness. Not anymore, not really. I don't mean that to sound bad, but I can't expect you to forgive me. My biggest problem is forgiving myself and being honest with myself over the things I have done, and try desperately not to continue doing. And you are right not to trust me. I barely trust myself anymore. I do not believe I can honestly change. Not easily and not quickly, all I can do for now is TRY. Try to do better and be better. And, oddly enough, I have to admit selfishness in trying, because I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to be happy and the only way to do that is to learn how to be better and then do it.

 

My Grandma (dad's mom, the mean one) died a couple weeks ago, and although I felt little remorse in her passing because she was never very nice to me, I sat at that church and I thought, She wasn't nice to me, but did that give me a right not to be nice to her? I don't know, a tricky thing all around. But I also don't want to end up like her. Stubborn and "right" about everything but no friends and my family disliking me. That isn't a good way to be.

Posted

Hi

 

I'm really sorry but you need to let sleeping dogs lie. After reading that letter he e.mailed you, I felt his bitterness. I think if you allow him back into your life he will hurt you again, and again, and again, and again.

 

You need to close the door for good!

 

[color=red]"He who allows himself to be insulted, deserves to be."[/color]

 

Please don't be that someone.

Posted

He's feeling sorry for himself and wants to make HIMSELF feel better, not you.

 

Let it be.

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