rkoouttanowhere Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Just to give a little backstory first, I've had 3 breakups within the last year. The 1st which was a near four year relationship that ended due to distance, #2 was 'I was into it, she wasn't', and #3 was 'She was into it, I wasn't'. Understandably, I hope anyway, I grew a bit tired and snake bitten of the dating game but while not every date I got on the site blossomed into a relationship, I did meet some people I would currently consider friends/close acquaintances from it, just not a romantic match for me. So instead of just outright deleting my account, I just repurposed it saying "I'm only looking for people to hang out with, no interest in dating blah blah blah." I wasn't sure how that would run because it is a dating site after all and I wouldn't fault a woman if she thought I had ulterior motives but it has actually gone pretty well and I've met a few ladies in purely friendly get-togethers. This has gone fine and dandy until pretty recently, I've arranged another meetup with a lady but unlike all the previous ones, I've come to realize that I'm actually pretty taken with her. While obviously we haven't met yet, we have chat a ton and are friends on Facebook where she appears to be pretty much the same exact person. Normally, I'd be fine what just taking a slowly and letting what happens, happen but we live about an hour away from each other and she is driving out to meet me so I'd like to at least let her know I'd at least try serious dating. On the other hand though, I don't want to give the wrong impression of 'gotcha' by asking her out since it's a 180 from what I wrote in my profile. I don’t know, feels like I'm making a big deal out of nothing but I certainly don't want to make things uncomfortable for her. Thoughts? We are both mid 20s if that's a factor.
Natsu21 Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Out with the old, in with the new. That's all I'm gonna say.
FitChick Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I'd reword the profile to say that while you just want to hang out you'd be open to it developing into something if there was a mutual special connection or something like that.
bentleychic Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I agree with FitChick. BUT aside from that, I wouldn't jump right in and add that in personal conversation until after the non-date date. See if you even click in person before approaching that subject. Just IMO. 1
deathandtaxes Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 You're taken with the idea of her. You haven't even met! You're setting your expectations so high for a whole lotta nothing right now. You need to dial back that stuff and just hang out and have fun. 1
PegNosePete Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 I'm actually pretty taken with her. While obviously we haven't met yet Getting "taken" with someone you haven't met is a bad idea. Nothing is real until you meet. I don't want to give the wrong impression of 'gotcha' by asking her out since it's a 180 from what I wrote in my profile. Well put it this way. If she is interested in a proper date then she won't care what you wrote on your profile. If she isn't interested in being anything other than friends, what do you have to lose? So basically just forget what you wrote, treat it like a normal date, and judge her response. 1
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