quidproquo89 Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Hey guys this is in regards to this thread https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/498024-how-contact-girl the girl mentioned, I asked her colleague (my mate) not 'A' whether she had a fella. He said he thought she did. He asked her and she said its complicated. I don't want to over tread the mark (not into stealing girlfriends or anything). However I would still like to chat with her. I see her occasionally when she comes in the shop but that is rare and even rarer for her to be on her own. So would it not be too forward to chat with her on facebook? We are already facebook friends. I'm interested in her and as aformentioned in my other thread she was 'supposedly chatting about me a lot' and 'likes' me. So any thoughts?
Toodaloo Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Keep it to chatting and find out what her situation actually is... I am a bit uneasy about the "its complicated" thing. But then I am a simple person I like it to be clear cut. In my mind your either single or your not. Simples. She probably does like you but as I say I think she might not be all that "available" emotionally. Find out then you can be informed and make up your own mind.
Author quidproquo89 Posted October 23, 2014 Author Posted October 23, 2014 Keep it to chatting and find out what her situation actually is... I am a bit uneasy about the "its complicated" thing. But then I am a simple person I like it to be clear cut. In my mind your either single or your not. Simples. She probably does like you but as I say I think she might not be all that "available" emotionally. Find out then you can be informed and make up your own mind. cheers mate, I am totally where you are at on the complicated front. She isnt my only option as you know, but I like to have lots of options open to me and she is gorgeous ha ha. So facebook chat is ok yeah? I'll kind of keep her on the backburner until I know whats going on. Thanks for your advice as always
Toodaloo Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 The thing is that it is impossible for you to make a reasoned decision until you know what the "its complicated" thing is. Back burner is a good idea. Does she just want to be single for a while. Has she got someone stalking her that makes her feel uncomfortable. Has she been trying to get rid of her ex but he will not leave. Or is she simply dating someone else and keeping her options open. Obviously each of those things would alter your choice so far better to know than to guess. Only way you will find out is if you actually talk to her so yep. Talk to her, find out. What is there to lose? Its not as if you are chasing her down the street with roses screaming I love you... Your just finding out about her which could lead to friendship, a relationship or going separate ways... Keep an open mind (an enjoy your date next week!).
dragonfire13 Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Tricky one... I think if she's in a complicated situation there's a strong likelihood the relationship isn't going to last. I would wait, maybe send a casual "hey" message, but don't start getting into long, in depth convos, and then maybe reach out at some point in the future. That way you know you didn't contribute to the break up if it comes. She would also have had the time to either work on her relationship or end it. If it does end, she won't be in the best place to date again right away anyway - I would much prefer to date someone who's had time to deal with a recent breakup. Hope that helps. 2
Author quidproquo89 Posted October 23, 2014 Author Posted October 23, 2014 The thing is that it is impossible for you to make a reasoned decision until you know what the "its complicated" thing is. Back burner is a good idea. Does she just want to be single for a while. Has she got someone stalking her that makes her feel uncomfortable. Has she been trying to get rid of her ex but he will not leave. Or is she simply dating someone else and keeping her options open. Obviously each of those things would alter your choice so far better to know than to guess. Only way you will find out is if you actually talk to her so yep. Talk to her, find out. What is there to lose? Its not as if you are chasing her down the street with roses screaming I love you... Your just finding out about her which could lead to friendship, a relationship or going separate ways... Keep an open mind (an enjoy your date next week!). cheers mate
Toodaloo Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 cheers mate Your welcome! I don't think you need to worry too much though. You have your feet on the floor, seem like a nice, straight forward type of chap so I don't think it will be long before your snapped up! All any of us are doing is confirming that your doing the right thing... Keep going. 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted October 23, 2014 Author Posted October 23, 2014 Your welcome! I don't think you need to worry too much though. You have your feet on the floor, seem like a nice, straight forward type of chap so I don't think it will be long before your snapped up! All any of us are doing is confirming that your doing the right thing... Keep going. I appreciate that thanks, definetly a late bloomer. How are you doing on the dating front?
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 There wouldn't be anything wrong with reaching out via FB. However a whole chat would be annoying. A few back & forth then move to something like the phone. 1
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