Mizz Layta Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 We live 4 hours apart and he was planning to come visiting me until he lost his job. Things were not going well in his life so he told me not to contact him anymore.He said he needs space. I told him that I will respect his wishes . However ,its been 2 months and I haven't heard from him. I miss him and I have a strong urge to talk to him to see how he is. Should I try or would I come off as stalkerish?We have known each other for few years so its hard to believe that we will never talk again
SoThatHappened Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 I say no. The ball is in his court. He broke things off, it's his responsibility to reconnect if he wants to reconcile. If you contact him, you will likely get denied and find out something you're better off not knowing. He decided he didn't want you in his life for whatever reason(s). Hate that fact, respect that fact, whatever, but don't contact him. 3
BC1980 Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 He told you not to contact him, so he can get in touch if he wants to. Most people don't ask for NC lightly. I know that when I asked my ex not to contact me, I was dead serious. 2
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Gosh, it seems like a lot of depressed guys who loose a job cut themselves away from a relationship. I remember a good online friend who I departed from after I got involved with a GF. It was a mutual depart as she was married and understood. Though I did contact her a year or so later to check on her and her family. She was greatly depressed, and after some exchanges, she told me that if it were not for her children she would have seen me for a weekend... this was recalling back before I got involved with my GF. I did not put 2 and 2 together, but realised after another year of being NC, that she had deeper feelings for me than what she showed, when we emailed again. This time it was our final goodbyes. You can contact him and be gentle about hoping things are going well and wondered how he is as it has been some time. Don't expect too much, either he is not interested or he will keep in contact. What ever, don't be putting efforts out to him. If things fizzle so be it, just accept what it is, as it is. 1
Gatema Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Personally, I think it's a huge risk to take. You just never know what could happen. And by not knowing what is around the corner if you contact him, you should know that more heartache and/or rejection are two very real possibilities that may occur. So the question that you asked is if you should, or should not, contact your ex? In my opinion, of course you can, you're an adult, and you're allowed. But you should do so by using some cautious trepidation for making your decision when you do. Although, I also feel that you should attach an additional component to your question. It's going to be something that only you will be able to answer, if you're completely honest with yourself. If you do break no contact by reaching out to him, you should keep in mind one more very important thing before you do. Are you truly prepared emotionally, for the reaction(s) that you may receive from him? That is, once you have turned the NC corner........ uninvited. Personally, I think it's a big gamble to take, but I also think it's an even bigger risk if done so without a well thought out strategy in place, for just in case......before breaking NC. Just remember this... that the chances for getting the end result(s) that you want to happen, or to be in your favor, is going to be 50/50. Just be well prepared. Good luck to you. 1
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