blue_jay_bird Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 So, he's taken me to a friends cottage, he's taken me on a double date, he's taken me to a friends birthday, he's taken me clubbing with with friends. I'm not sure if he's noticed, but I don't have much to offer in this department. He's not a idiot right. He can tell. I'm not sure want to do. I mean I'm not friendless. But, my friendships are sporadic. I'm only lucky that I started school again, so I'm trying to build friendships. But really, in the end he will know. Like my ex knew, I have difficulty keeping friendships. I'm pretty insecure about it, it was one of the reasons my ex left. I'm going to keep trying in the friendship department. I just worry. Could you date someone that doesn't have regular friends? Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 When I was in a long term relationship for about 3 years, I started to lose a lot of friends because I was spending all my time with her and kind of disregarding them. You could try telling him something like that. How long have you been together? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I think people would have trouble dating someone that doesn't have friends because they worry they will develop codependency on the relationship. If you can show him that you are independent and can go off and do your own thing with out him, it might help. You can also mention that since going to school you lost touch with old friends and are in the process of making new connections. Link to post Share on other sites
Adele0908 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 He wants to meet your friends/ That means he is serious about you. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Just take him around the one or two friends that you have. He sounds like a good guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I have tons of life long friends & that feels normal to me. DH doesn't have many local friends. He has some guys he calls friends but I haven't seen them since we've been married. He has his Marines but they are all far away. Why can't you keep friends? Can you fix / overcome that? Friends are wonderful. For now since you don't really have that network, introduce him to whoever is currently in your life but just point out that not everybody is as lucky as he is in terms of building a circle. Perhaps reach out for some of his buddies' GFs to build relationships with them. Link to post Share on other sites
katinlc Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 (edited) My boyfriend has a ton of friends. I have met so many people in the last couple of months! I, on the other hand have very few friends. I do a lot with my family and I have a few girlfriends, but I don't have the lifelong friends he does. I just moved back a couple of years ago and I work from home, so I don't have near the opportunity to make friends. Plus, it is really hard to make friends in your 30's when you are single as most people are couples. It never occurred to me that this would be a concern to him or a problem. He has enough friends for both of us and I am a social and outgoing person so it works. I wouldn't worry about this at all. He has met a couple of my girlfriends and my family. I am setting up a cookout and inviting my sister and cousin and their husbands along with one other couple friend I have plus his brother and sil so that will kind of be meeting my "friends". Edited October 23, 2014 by katinlc Link to post Share on other sites
andytownsend Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 What's wrong with having a difficulty with keeping friends? Would that make you a bad partner? As long as it wouldn't affect your relationship it doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 OP, why do you have difficulty keeping friends? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 What's wrong with having a difficulty with keeping friends? Would that make you a bad partner? As long as it wouldn't affect your relationship it doesn't matter. If you can't keep friends, how do you expect to keep a relationship? Sex & that level of intimacy make it harder not easier to stay together because you are more vulnerable. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 (edited) Tell him you have always been the type to have only a few good friends because you'd rather share a lot of yourself with one or two people instead of a little of yourself with a crowd. You prefer intimacy. Your last good friend lost her job and moved cross country to live with her parents. Your other friend slept with your last boyfriend so you don't speak. Tell him all of your friends were guys but your last boyfriend was jealous so you got rid of them and have lost touch. He should be happy that you will be available for all his socializing with his friends. No conflicts. Edited October 23, 2014 by FitChick Link to post Share on other sites
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