Swimmer916 Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 It's been a few months since my break up. Things are still tough and I still find myself regretting the end of the relationship. I think one of the toughest things about the breakup and coping is you lose that idea of comfort that you have with your ex. We dated in college and I had this dream built into my mind. We would gradute, live in the city with our friends together, get married, start a life together. It's comforting to think that. Now that it's over, I see many friends getting engaged and starting the next phase of their lives. It feels like something is off. You want that comfort again. The future has a bunch of uncertainties. When will I next meet someone as good as my ex or will I? She has a new BF now and I'm still coping. Why can't I find someone yet. I think we fall into this comfort trap. As hard as it is, being alone helps you grow. It showed me that my happiness was contigent on her. I need to grow with someone side by side. I hate the idea of dating. Its overwhelming. I was comfortable with my ex and never have to delve into that. Now, I find myself trying to find someone for that comfort. Once I work on my own happiness I can start finding someone again. 1
preraph Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 I'm sorry this has been such a struggle for you and thrown you off your life plan. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I truly think the best thing for you to do right now is live alone on your own and support yourself by yourself for one to two years so you don't feel so fragile without someone around. It will build up your confidence in yourself to exist with or without someone. You will instead derive comfort from just knowing you can take care of yourself.
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