creativegeek Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Where the hell do I even start??? I have always been very careful when getting into relationships because I always want out!!! Well I met my current boyfriend in graduate school and he was very open minded and a free thinker (at least more than he is now). He graduated about a year after we met (we have been together for almost three years) and started working at a pretty difficult job. His personality started to drastically change. He became less of a dreamer and more of a realist...way to serious about life and just NO fun any more. I think I stopped caring about him in a "I'm in love with you" type of way, about a year ago The problem was...we had moved in together because I lost my job and was only working part time and having a hard time paying bills....I know it was the completely wrong thing to do but I didn't know what else to do and he wanted to help me out. He is a really great guy but I have absolutely no sexual feelings for him. He is really just a great friend. I even hate it when he kisses me (man that is hard to admit but I need to be honest with myself). I have tried to break up with him twice before and he says it will take him at least a month to move out and find an apartment which is a complete excuse NOT to move out. Then he wants to talk me into staying with him because I don't know what I want and that I have a hard time with committment. But I know that I don't want to be with him anymore. It is a very difficult situation because: 1) We live together 2) My parents love him and his parents love me 3) He has serious feelings for me and tells me I am his soul mate and I am the only one for him. I am really don't know what to do...I DON'T see us getting married and I mentally left this relationship years ago. Anyone out there EVER have to deal with this. I am DEPERATE for any advise. HELP!!
tanbark813 Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Why don't you take it upon yourself to move out? Seeing as how he helped you out and you're the one that wants the relationship to end, it seems like you should be the one to have to find a new place.
Donut Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Be kind to the poor guy and let him know how you feel. Do it to his face, explain it as best you can, then find other living arrangements asap. 1
agnf666 Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 If you really don't like this guy then you need to step up to the plate and move out. So, he see's that you are serious about breaking up. TRy to move in with your parents or something for the time being. Tell them that you didn't feel anything for him. When you break up with him, don't be a bitch about it. He was really nice to you. Sit down with him and tell him that you want to move out. Tell him that you don't have the "I love you Feelings" anymore. Just be completey honest.
Merin Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 If you want out of this relationship so badly then why don't YOU move out? This isn't about if your parents love him or not... psssshhhh my EXH Mom loves me too.. but yeah couldn't stay married to her son because she wanted me too. IF you really aren't in Love with him, and you don't want to be with him then you're not doing him any favours in prolonging the enivitable... everyone deserves to be with someone who is crazy about them. Pack your things and move out.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Pack your things and move out. Thats it, thats all you have to do. I know its easier said than done. But Its not out of reach.
Author creativegeek Posted March 11, 2005 Author Posted March 11, 2005 I would LOVE to move out...unfortunatly, this is my apartment. I got it when we were not living together and he just sort of moved in because he was always over. So when I lost my job he just never resigned his lease. My name is on the lease and all the bills are in my name so my hands are tied when it comes to moving out
agnf666 Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 then you need to seroiusly tell him that you need him to move out give him until april to find a place. You can get him thrown out. If his name is not on the lease then he's not suppose to be living there! Other then that there is nothing you can do but get him to move out or throw him out.
Author creativegeek Posted March 11, 2005 Author Posted March 11, 2005 Merin sounds like you were in deeper than I was...what happened between you and your husband? If you don't mind me asking.
Merin Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Originally posted by creativegeek Merin sounds like you were in deeper than I was...what happened between you and your husband? If you don't mind me asking. LOL No I don't mind your asking at all... My EXH wanted us to have an *Open Marriage* to put it nicely... We obviously lived together.. the house was in our both our names. I filed for divorce, the judge made us sell the house. We have 2 little people together.. and for real when I told his Mom that I was filing for divorce she fainted and she cried a lot.. she was devastated and took this very hard. I still have nothing but love and respect for his Mom... BUT I couldn't stay with him for my little people or for his Mom. Good Luck
shamen Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Be honest about your feelings... and give him a time frame to move out. He'll find a place to go if you give him a time frame. (I've done this.)
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