dboiipdx Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 I won't get into the details of the history, but a girl had and I had a short-lived but very intense relationships for a couple months. But, I started to feel ill-at ease for various reasons and told her I needed space. I initiated no contact, not so much to play a game, but to re-center myself and regain the core confidence I had when I first attracted her. Anyways, soon after NC she started texting me a bunch. I had a mix of responding back with short (but friendly) answers or not responding at all. My whole intention was to have enough space to gain clarity on how I felt about her and what I wanted with her. After about 3 weeks, I reached a pivotal point. I felt I had let go of all resentment and ill-will towards her and my true feelings came to clarity. I still care about her, I'm attracted to her, and I want to keep dating her. And I genuinely missed her...we had spent a lot of good quality time together over the recent months. Coincidentally, we both went abroad at the same time. The same day I had my 'pivotal moment' she sent me an email simply saying 'Miss you'. I genuinely felt the same way so I responded 'Same...' She shot back with a selfie of where she was and asked where I was. Here's where things get a little weird and where I've been second guessing all of my actions. I'll address all of my actions individually: 1. I was on a work trip so I was busy and it was difficult to draft an email. I started a draft that was pretty blunt and empty: 'Chilly there? I'm in Ulm.' This wasn't my final email as i had to stop writing bc of work. A bit later I started a new email: 'Is it chilly there? I'm in Ulm, Germany. They invented car2go here and have the worlds tallest church' I attached a pic of the church. Somehow, in my distracted haste, I sent both emails. I didn't think much of it but now worry that it came off as me sending the first then feeling bad about it being so lacking, and made another to make up for it. This is how my mind works. Thoughts? 2. She didn't respond back but I didn't care. I was feeling good about things again. I sent her another email 2 days later: 'Where are you now? Hope your'e having an amazing trip.' I put a certain emoji in the signature line that has some sentimental value to us. I now worry that, given our circumstances that we are on shaky ground, that I went too far into the emotional realm by giving the email a sentimental touch. She NEVER responded to this email. Either by choice, or technical difficulties (she was abroad in Iceland, but obviously had email a few days earlier) It ****ed with my head that she didn't respond, and put me in a big setback after starting to feel good again about where things were going. 3. We're FB friends and she had been posting pics of her trip. In slightly stalkerish (but also just curious) interest, I was looking at her FB page and her pics. My phone is sensitive and my finger accidentally 'liked' some post one of her friends had posted. I quickly un-liked it a) because I truly didn't mean to like it and b) I don't want her knowing I'm looking at her FB page. I worry that, despite un-liking it, she received a big red notification that "hey this guy that has been moving on from you is now FB stalking you" Thoughts? Anyways, I've just been trying to maintain control of my thoughts, preventing them from going to bad places. I feel that, in the midst of the actions which I just accounted, I ****ed up and killed her drive to keep chasing me and killed attraction. I still don't think it's dead, but I'm not sure if I really did **** up nor am I sure about the next steps. I feel ready to meet up again, but I want to come from a place of having some power and not as the guy who is FB stalking her and sending weird emails. I just had to get these thoughts out into the community so they stop consuming me. Sorry for the long post but I hope you take the time to read and offer your perspectives. Thanks,
walkingonair Posted October 28, 2014 Posted October 28, 2014 You broke up with her because you got scared.It's time for you to win her back and prove to her that she can trust you now because after you broke up with her,you lost all her trust.If you want someone to talk to,i'm here:)What's your gmail?
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