schoenberg634 Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 Hey all. Thanks for taking the time to read. So, I have been with my girlfriend for a bit shy of two years; this is my first serious relationship, but it's her second, and so a lot of the relationship has been a learning experience for me because I am trying to understand my feelings and how I feel in a relationship, and how I should feel. The thing is, though, that I feel very negative about the state of things, but I don't really have a good reason why. I just feel very...tired of the relationship. There are a lot of little things that I have been noticing. For one, over the course of the relationship, I have found myself wanting to spend less and less time with her. We don't live together, and I see her maybe three days per week. I have always been someone who needs more alone time than the average person, but at the beginning, I wanted to spend more time with her. These days, including today, I am much more content to be by myself, doing anything, and even when I do spend time with her, I find myself itching to go after a while. I really don't know why this is. The other major thing that I've noticed is that, whenever we're intimate, I generally don't seem to feel as strongly as she does. Whenever she sighs or says "I love you," I find myself feeling guilty or rolling my eyes or something similar. I also don't look forward to being intimate anymore. Whenever we do, I feel kind of like a doll for my girlfriend to hug to let her stresses out. I know that this is kind of a duty in a relationship, but that's all it ever feels like anymore. A lot of it feels like an obligation. The problem in all this is that I don't know what to think about it. I don't know if I am being lazy, or if this is just how relationships are after this amount of time has passed, or if we really are on different wavelengths, or what. That's why I wrote this post. Based on what I wrote, what do you guys think? Have any of you ever experienced similar feelings? How did you deal with them? Thanks so much for any input.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 I feel very negative about the state of things I just feel very...tired of the relationship. I have found myself wanting to spend less and less time with her. when I do spend time with her, I find myself itching to go after a while. I generally don't seem to feel as strongly as she does. Whenever she sighs or says "I love you," I find myself feeling guilty or rolling my eyes or something similar. I also don't look forward to being intimate anymore. A lot of it feels like an obligation. She's more into you than you are her, and that's not sustainable. It's normal to get more comfortable in a relationship once the honeymoon stage passes, but if you're losing interest in spending time and being intimate with her, and the relationship feels like an obligation, I don't think it's the right one for you any longer. 1
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