Toodamnpragmatic Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Reading the thread on it's own I get it, but reading regret143 and what is a at least quasi-open relationship I find the thread redundant.
Owl Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 OK...if you want to confront without giving up your source, this is still simple. Tell her you want to see the receipts from when/where she bought the tickets. If she got them online, she can fwd you the email, or you should be able to look at her credit card history to see when/where/how they were purchased. If she got them elsewhere, then she can provide the physical receipts if by some chance they were bought with cash. And...it really doesn't matter when you think about it. You know already that she's lying to you about this. Which should be a deal breaker for you. You don't need to confront...you simply need to start taking action to end the relationship. 1
GoBlue Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 I am very glad that you are seeing a counselor. Keeping your eyes on where you want to go is far better than focusing on the pain of today. Have you talked to the counselor individually and gotten his input into what you discovered? Once trust is broken - restoring it takes time. Is she contrite and truly sorry for what she did? Remember, from her perspective, admitting that she bought those tickets with the intention of taking the other guy would be very hard, especially if she is serious about repairing this marriage. Kind of like you admitting that you know the truth of those tickets because you sneaked into her e-mail and looked without permission. Does that make sense? Have you considered confessing what you did? Have you considered selling the tickets and doing something else? Remember, there will always be people who will tell you to take the easy road out and don't worry about the marriage - after all - she cheated on you. The truth is, however, leaving is not an easy road. Still praying for you!
Spectre Posted October 23, 2014 Posted October 23, 2014 Have some backbone. The only reason she suddenly changed her mind to work on the marriage was because her OM got cold feet. You say you have weak financials; go to the concert, then stop before going in, maybe sell them to a random guy/girl outside and go home again, tell your wife she can go on her own. Your kids need that money more than your lying WS who'll probably think to herself "If only he were here instead..." all night. The other man left his wife for her. The only reason she got back with the OP is because a better offer(the OP) came along. She felt "valued" again. Until that point she was totally going to be getting with this other dude. So..yeah, this woman is nine different kinds of toxic. She played them both, got the other dude to leave his family and then just changed her mind and went back to her husband again. This is a messed up person. She wrecks peoples lives on a WHIM. To stay married to her is like chaining yourself to a frickin comet, it won't end well.
blackgnat Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 After reading your other threads I can only say that you two are a horrible match and have NO RESPECT for each other. You treat her like a sperm receptacle-you want her to enjoy the sex act. Well, what's YOUR definition of that? Herding her out to another guy? Then thinking that's such a turn on that she'll be into you? You've been watching too much porn. Your ideas about what makes a good sex life are absolutely idiotic. She sounds like she is also clueless. If she wants affection from you then why the heck did she agree to having an open marriage? Maybe I am just too dumb to understand the rationale behind your thinking... Divorce her.
Spectre Posted October 24, 2014 Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) Umm, this is quite simple. Dude wanted his wife to cuckold him. Weird? Yes. Would I do it? Nope, but there it is. The wife AGREED. Then the guy told her to stop, she agreed, but did not actually stop. You act like the wife was just some puppet on a string here instead of an adult who made choices of her own. Maybe the guy had a weird sexual fetish and maybe he paid the price for wanting to see that fetish take form, but he never actually betrayed the wife. She, on the other hand, betrayed him and still to this day lies to him. It is really not about sex, if she had stopped doing it once he told her to stop this wouldn't of happened. Perhaps things might of been awkward after, but there would of been no betrayals. But no, she decided she needed this other guy *so badly* it is worth throwing away her family for. Stop knocking the guy for having a weird sexual fetish, he didn't ask to get married to a woman who will betray him and who can't speak up for herself like an adult. Edited October 24, 2014 by Spectre
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