westernxer Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 Maybe he's suffering from cognitive dissonance. Just kidding.
izzybelle Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 unfortunately, i think many people, christian or not, use their values to their own advantage when it suits them. my ex inlaws were similar to the example posted before. pillars of their church, lots of charity work, awards given to them for their service....the list goes on and on. all done for those who might be looking. in the quiet of their home... they were quite the opposite. never, in my life have i met people who could be so cruel and unforgiving to those they loved. they are hypocrits and again in the privacy of their home comdemn and criticize those they spend so much time helping. this couple who are so respected in their church are racists, among the worst i've ever met. AND my ex MIL was engaged to someone else when she met my ex FIL..... and there's always been the debate among the kids about the timeline .... the rushed marriage, the miscarriage shortly after the marriage...... obviously, as some of you know, i'm a recovering OW. MM said one of the reasons he went back to his wife was because of Catholic guilt. he had never given me the impression that religion was even remotely iimportant to him. in fact, i know he said at one point, that he wasn't a religious person. but yet that was a reason he stayed with his wife. perhaps that guilt had always been there and he hadn't been willing to admit it to himself or to me. but it wasn't the guilt of the A that got to him, i think it was more of the guilt of how he would look to friends and his community it they had discovered what his W had discovered. shame more from what people would say vs. the guilt from doing something wrong?
Author liswil Posted March 12, 2005 Author Posted March 12, 2005 my ex inlaws were similar to the example posted before. pillars of their church, lots of charity work, awards given to them for their service....the list goes on and on. all done for those who might be looking. in the quiet of their home... they were quite the opposite. never, in my life have i met people who could be so cruel and unforgiving to those they loved. they are hypocrits and again in the privacy of their home comdemn and criticize those they spend so much time helping. this couple who are so respected in their church are racists, among the worst i've ever met. AND my ex MIL was engaged to someone else when she met my ex FIL..... and there's always been the debate among the kids about the timeline .... the rushed marriage, the miscarriage shortly after the marriage...... To me, those who flaunt it a lot are usually the ones to watch out for. but it wasn't the guilt of the A that got to him, i think it was more of the guilt of how he would look to friends and his community it they had discovered what his W had discovered. shame more from what people would say vs. the guilt from doing something wrong? Exactly. I think the same thing with the one I know too! They are so worried about their public images!
westernxer Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 I guess what I'm about to say goes in line with what everyone's been saying... While I do my best to think good of everyone (or just not think of them at all), there are certain individuals who, I think, are just asking for it. Maybe I'm just being cruel, but these people have such a superiority complex that, if I were religious, I couldn't help but pray for their downfall, just to shut them up. Usually it's a member of my extended family or people from church, but since I'm no longer a churchgoer, then I guess I can rule out the latter. I've even heard radio talk show hosts complaining about this from time to time. Must be an epidemic of sorts.
moimeme Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 guess I wanted to hear people's comments on it outside of the textbook. Oddly enough, the 'textbook' describes what you find outside of it.
Author liswil Posted March 12, 2005 Author Posted March 12, 2005 True, but I meant I want to hear from everyday people about it. I do recall when I first learned about cognitive dissonance and found it fascinating (ok, so I was nerd....). It's one of the things that really got me interested in the study of behavior, along with other teachings by Sknner, Jung, Kant, etc....
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