johndo1984 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 We been going out a lot lately for month now. We going out every weekend. We hold hands, cuddle, and hugs, etc.. expect making out. Whenever I try to kiss her she turn away, so I just kiss her chick or forehead. She told me she not ready, and she wants to get to know me more. She really traditional girl. She told me she enjoyed the time we spended together. She said yes to our next date. So what should I do? Continue? Or drop her? I dont want to continue for 4months or long and she not ready. Am not depressed but just dont want to waste our both time. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 ^ You've been going out for a month and she won't even let you kiss her? I'll say she is just using you to console herself whilst she gets over her ex or other issues she might have. She sounds like one of those females on OLD that have no intentions of getting serious, but just crave the attention and self esteem boost. You definitely don't want to carry on into month #2 without even touching 2nd base. Personally, I'll move on. Time is previous/is money/waits for nobody. In her case, it might be healing wounds 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Natsu21 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 She's using you for an ego boost. No kissing after going out for a month. Sorry to say but the reason she isn't ready is that she isn't all that attracted to you. I'd say move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Your next plan is a new girl who will want to kiss you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Before jumping the gun let me ask you something. 1. How old is she? 2 She had a bf before? 3 Is she from a culture forbidding touching and kissing? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 Before jumping the gun let me ask you something. 1. How old is she? 2 She had a bf before? 3 Is she from a culture forbidding touching and kissing? She 28ys, had an ex. Her culture allowed touching and kissing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 She's using you for an ego boost. No kissing after going out for a month. Sorry to say but the reason she isn't ready is that she isn't all that attracted to you. I'd say move on. Ty for then reply. Am think about leaving her too. She a good traditional girl.sometime she fb or text msg me. Right now she currently in school no career yet, I dont thiink she ready for relationship bc she want to finish school and start her career.maybe she not interested in me, therefore I kinda of backing off now. Talk to her less n thinking about seeeing her less. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 You are rushing the girl. And you do sound a little needy. THe girl seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, and she doesnt want a shallow relationship. Get to know her first before youre all over her. She like you more for it. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 You are rushing the girl. And you do sound a little needy. THe girl seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, and she doesnt want a shallow relationship. Get to know her first before youre all over her. She like you more for it. Good luck Expecting at least a kiss after a month of "going out a lot," (as stated by OP) is rushing things? She's using him to satisfy some emotional need (probably still hung up on her ex), but doesn't want him to have any benefit of it. She's the kind of the girl that would say "it isn't going to work" once she finds another guy who she's smitten with. I'd say move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
andytownsend Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 It has been a month. Give her some time to get to know you more. After maybe two months, you can ask her what her intentions are. Link to post Share on other sites
Tik Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 At 28 she could go both ways. She'll have the maturity to not rush into things while happy to keep you around but the fact you're both still holding hands and cuddling etc, I feel to lean on the latter of her not wanting to rush into things. This is the age when you're considering meeting someone special and thinking of settling down. Then again, maybe it is you? Every girl even the uptight and traditional has their dark sides regardless of what they say and to the right guy they'll do anything. From my experience (although I am much younger sorry man), I've experienced the girls whom I had to group date a few times before getting alone date time, those that held off til the second or later dates and when I've been on game, the girls who made out and even more after the first date. I've had even double the shockers haha. While I hate talking emotions because of being burnt so many times, I still believe it's up to you. If you have patience, keep pushing away and maybe she'll be something awesome. At the same time, start hanging out with friends, going out with female friends; show her she is not your world and make her realise that if she wants to be apart of you, she has to commit herself. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Is this the same woman you have been seeing since July? I say drop her if sex is what you want. Why haven't you broken up with her yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 As of today, things not great as I hope. Our communication is lacking, we still talk here and there but not often. When we do talk, I do almost of the asking and talking. Her replies are really short. I just fine it hard to talk to her. She not really open or express much. Ex, what did you do today, nothing. Did you like the movie, yes. Do you like to do this, sure. Etc.. I tend to planed most of the activities. She doesn't put much input or give any suggestion toward anything. I always pick what activities to do, where to go or eat. When I ask her to suggest, she said you pick or you plan it. Right now, I decide to move on with someone else, I dont think there will be any improvement. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I agree, John. Just be good enough to tell her that in your opinion, this is going nowhere. She's very nice, but you hope she finds someone to whom she can open up more, and sooner, because frankly, you don't feel she is doing that with you, so goodbye and thank you, have a good life, but it won't be with you, sitting there like a lemon, waiting for ever.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Is this the same woman you have been seeing since July? I say drop her if sex is what you want. Why haven't you broken up with her yet? Am not after sex. We are not together but just dating. Yes after all this time, she consider us dating. After a lot of consideration, I thinking of ending it. Right now, I just go on w my life and enjoy it. If she want to talk to me or work it out, she should put in the effort and contact me. I think it put in too much effort and it getting no where but worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 I agree, John. Just be good enough to tell her that in your opinion, this is going nowhere. She's very nice, but you hope she finds someone to whom she can open up more, and sooner, because frankly, you don't feel she is doing that with you, so goodbye and thank you, have a good life, but it won't be with you, sitting there like a lemon, waiting for ever.... Thank you and i will. I try so much to make her open and talk more. I even ask her to be open and dont be shy around me. Her replied are always take time and be patience. For me, I lost interest in her now is because lack of communication. We used to talk 2hr, now it 5 min. When we hang out, I talked the most shen just listen only talk when I asked questions. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 If she was real young, that would be one thing. But she's older and has an ex. So I don't know what she's getting out of this. I don't know if she had something happened that shut her down sexually (like trauma). I think you open a discussion with her about how she got to this point and see if she'll talk about anything. Otherwise, if she just seems cold and unaffectionate, I don't see you wanting this type of girl. She may be under pressure by family, if she's very traditional, to marry someone/anyone, so find out how her family influences her as well. Talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 If she was real young, that would be one thing. But she's older and has an ex. So I don't know what she's getting out of this. I don't know if she had something happened that shut her down sexually (like trauma). I think you open a discussion with her about how she got to this point and see if she'll talk about anything. Otherwise, if she just seems cold and unaffectionate, I don't see you wanting this type of girl. She may be under pressure by family, if she's very traditional, to marry someone/anyone, so find out how her family influences her as well. Talk to her. Thank for the reply. I ask her if were are alight with us so far? Yes, she like where we at? Yes, What she wants? She just tolded me take time to know each other more. Her family, asked me to come over for dinners twice, she told me she not ready for me to come over. When I already saw them. She told me she just feel uncomfortable. I asked her to come over for dinner with my family,, she said no bc she not comfortable. But she been to my house before. Am not been desperate I can be fine w out her. But I want to make it work but it not time to move on. I really dont know what she want from this too or from me.Idk where this heading.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 Update: it over now, we decided to go our own way. She said she want to meet me, but never happened. We talk, I do most of the talking. I told her what I want and ect. I ask her the same, she didnt said anything, but text. Am upset that I didnt get the closure I wanted or hoping for. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Update: it over now, we decided to go our own way. She said she want to meet me, but never happened. We talk, I do most of the talking. I told her what I want and ect. I ask her the same, she didnt said anything, but text. Am upset that I didnt get the closure I wanted or hoping for. Oh, just be glad you found this out one month in than wasting more of your time... I mean, I can respect and understand her wanting to take it slow, but come on what's so bad about a kiss? Geesh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndo1984 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 Oh, just be glad you found this out one month in than wasting more of your time... I mean, I can respect and understand her wanting to take it slow, but come on what's so bad about a kiss? Geesh. Ty, we did kiss not make out.. yes I have to ask for a kiss sometime Link to post Share on other sites
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