divorce depositions

[wenang]

My husband filed for divorce after 38 years of a wonderful marriage. He fell in love with a co-worker, and when I discovered the affair, it was over for us.

My attorney is requesting depositions. I haven't seen my husband in a year, and never want to see him again ever! My kids have not spoken to him either. He's dead to us. I just found out that he has the right to attend my deposition.

YIKES. Is there anything I can do to make sure he won't show up? Will a therapist who says it's detrimental to my health be enough? Also, does anyone have advice on going through depositions? Thanks everyone!

[d0nnivain]

Talk to your lawyer about how to prep for the deposition. they may have a video you can watch.

 

Wear nice but comfortable clothes. Try not to stress too much. Listen to the Qs. Answer honestly but succinctly. Do not anticipate questions. Ask to have the Q repeated or rephrased if you don't understand it. Try to get a good night's sleep before hand. Eat something before you go in, even a piece of toast.

 

If you are that stressed out about the whole thing make an appointment with your therapist the day before & the day after.

 

Remember this, you never have to be alone with your EX. Your attorney or somebody from the office can be with you at all times. In the deposition you will most likely sit between your lawyer & the court reporter directly across from the other lawyer. If you never look to the of your STBX's attorney you never have to make eye contact with the EX. The EX cannot speak during your deposition & if he is disruptive can be removed. (that is very rare however so don't count on it)

 

The minute you do anything overt other than hope / pray he won't show up, he will come just for spite so don't try to dissuade him from attending. It will backfire & if taken too far can rise to the level of the crime, witness tampering.

[Yasuandio]

Try to avoid a deposition. It is not a requirment in a divorce. Plus, it is a tool that can get you all twisted up in trial a year or 3 years later as your memory fades. Who ask for depo? Tell them shove it. Go to the theripist twice week.

 

Say YOU WANT HIS DEPO FIRST! Plus he can pay for the pleasure. DEMAND THAT ASAP.

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EFF THIS. This depo for you is outragious, especially if you arre plantiff. Dafuq is wrong with your attorney? I no how terrified you feel, honey. Ive been there. Get out this crap. He can put all the money, money, money, money, up front, and he goes first, big shot. And his lover can go second, right after him, too (so they have no time to confer). She needs a depo, so you can cross them up at trial. He wants depos, good, he gonna develop erectile dysfunction if he gets this news. Urolugist will not give him a pass on the depos. No way.

 

That is his plan for you, to scare you, intimadate you, it worked. That is why depos are taken for a stupid divorce. There is notning to find from you, other than to terrorize you, and try to trick, and make you nervious in Court. I mean, you are not Ivana Trump, for goodness sake.

 

On the other hand, depos are usful to gain information bevore you go into court. What information dk you have th a t he doesn't know? You see, that is why it is dumb to spend money on a depo on you, when interrogatories will do just fine.

 

However, you could learn a lot from him and his lover. Yeah, I would agree to do a depo third, no problem, after sitting through his and hers! Sure! That would be worth it! He pays, since it has to his idea, ( unless you attorney is running up your bill). I bet you get cancelation letter next day just like I did.

 

Scare tactic hon. See it worked. Now reverse it. Bahahahahahahaha. For sure, let him pay for him and his girl, oh please serve both of them!!!!!!! Insist on it! In some states she could possible have an action brought against her. You might want to ask uour attorney about that.

 

But no way you bo first. No way you pay. Then if you do depo, it is easy breezy. Simple. Tell the truth. Dont talk to attorney, sit next to recorder and say your answer dirrecty to the recorder even if the attorney is interupting you, keep getting you information on the record (ignore the attorney, say everything you want completely, like hes not there, then recorder is forced to get your information on the record, and the attorney will not see it coming , an get frustrated).

 

You can also object to questions that you dont understand, or that seem tricky, or as if the attorney is making some sort of assumption about you. Just say, "Stop, I object, that thing you said aboug me is not true." Then ask him questions, "where is your evidence to make that assumption about me?"

 

Don't ever allow any attorney to ask you to agree with something that is a generaliation, such as, "Isn't true that your husband has been a good provider for your your family during the marriage?" Posing a genalized statement for you to agree to can be trick question. In that examplr, you dont know what the attorney is "getting at" by agreeing that you husband has been a "good provider." The next question could be, "Isn't time you started proving for yourself for once in 30 years Mrs. X?" "Answer the question, YES or NO?" See how it works? Like Mr. Lucky said, you can read up on these things. ..

 

i would not reccoment vidio. That is disconcerting, especially if you are going to control the depo as I suggest. But you wont even get into a depo - dont worry till it happens. Yas

 

Important Note. I AM NOT AN ATTORNEY. However, Ive been deposed several times, and sat in many deoositions.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Yasuandio

[Be_Strong]

No, you cannot keep your husband from attending your deposition. Plan and expect for him to be there. If your divorce case goes to trial, you will have to see him again at that time, but that is it.

[Tayla]

Speak factually. Leave your emotions at the door.

Both partys' are allowed to be present.

unless a protection order is in place. Be adults and civil.

[DivorcedDad123]

Depositions are a great tool,and he has a right to be there.(Right to face your accuser and all) You'll be asked by your attorney to come up with questions pertaining to your divorce that you want to ask him. This is a great time to find out if he's hiding money,has any accounts you don't know about,etc.,,

You want to line them up so that he's off guard the entire time of the depo. That way he can't make things up on the fly.

Personally, I'd send interrogatories myself. We did a depo and it ended up costing a crapload of money that could have been done with interrogatories.

 

Depositions are under oath,admissable in court, and an extension of testimony.Be prepared that his atty will probably request a deposition from you at the same meeting.

[wenang]

My attorney is the one ordering my husband's depo because we own a business together and need to trip him up with some questions. I didn't realize I need to be there too and I'll probably get deposed afterwards. Are there any trick questions I should be aware of that may come up when I get deposed? Has anyone here been to a divorce depo? Were there any questions you weren't ready for?

[d0nnivain]

You do NOT have to be at your husband's deposition. Talk to your lawyer about the benefits to the lawyer to have you there vs. the emotional toll it will take on you.

 

You will NOT be deposed until your STBXH's lawyer sends your lawyer a notice to take depositions & your lawyer notifies you of the same. You will go to your lawyers' office in advance to talk about what issues may come up, what Qs will be asked & to prepare you to be a witness. This is not a spur of the moment thing where you will suddenly be put on the spot.