Things started great, but things seemed to change

[Browntown]

Hi all, this is my first time posting but I will try my best to keep it concise.

 

I met this girl this summer while I was working in my college town. We hit it off immediately. We spent a lot of time together this summer and things looked like they were going really really well. She kept telling me she had never been comfortable dating anyone until she met me and we really made each other happy.

 

One night she drunkenly went on about how she was worried about that when school started back cause her schedule would be ridiculous and we wouldn't be able to spend as much time together, but of course I told her everything would be alright and we would figure it out.

 

The first couple of weeks of school we made it work, found time to see each other, started having dates on Thursday nights. She looked at me at one point and told me I was her best friend and she was happy to finally happy to have someone who made her feel wanted more than physically. (Little background, she was sexually assaulted by the last guy she was talking to and I opened up to her and shared that I was molested as a child, I felt like this was a huge bonding moment for the both of us). We even went to a concert for her birthday in September and I got a chance to meet her parents. She told all of her friends that I was her boyfriend, much to their shock, apparently I'm the first person she's ever actually called her boyfriend.

 

After the concert things seemed to change a bit. She teaches 6 Pilates classes during the week and is also double majoring, so I was willing to handle the distant feelings and not seeing each other as often. But when she got extremely distant I began to worry, I talked to my really close circle of friends and they told me to lay it all out to her and see what she thought. They told me to fight for it, they saw how happy her and I made each other.

 

We finally sat down and had a serious talk about everything a few weeks ago. When we talked she said how sorry she was that she has been so distant and she was worried about how hard it was for her to maintain our relationship given her schedule and how much we had been into each other the first few months after we met. I told her id be willing to take a step back and let her have her space. We both acknowledged how happy we make each other when we're together and how there was still plenty left for us to do and see together.

 

I left it at that, that conversation was a few weeks ago. We have seen each other plenty on the weekends since then and she always reassures me that we're fine and how sorry she is.

 

I guess my biggest problem is trying to deal with feeling like she doesn't care anymore. I'm doing my best to not be selfish. But it's just kind of a struggle when someone who you really thought you could count on and know that does care about you is so distant. I really want to ride this out and build up back to where we were before. I'm also trying to be sensitive to the fact that having a boyfriend is new to her and also that she has been hurt very badly in the past.

 

I want to keep fighting but I can't tell if it's worth it.

 

Thanks for hearing me out.

[Keenly]

Back off a little. Actually back off a lot. Stop contacting her.

 

 

 

That's when you find out if she cares. If days go by and she doesn't seem worried that contact / hanging has come to a screeching halt, you have your answer.