Tayken Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Nothing new here, but heard this on a radio station 1. Mistaking lust for love: It’s a bit of a bummer, but it’s almost impossible to be as madly lustful for someone as is common for most of us in the first few months of a relationship. Oftentimes (usually young people) think this state of zealous infatuation is supposed to exist forever, and when it doesn’t, they think they’ve fallen out of love. But the thing about relationships is that, over time, they change. You might have less firey sex, but it is likely to be deeper and more romantic (dare I say better) than in the early days. And of course, relationships aren’t all about sex, and sex doesn’t equal love. 2. Forgetting how great your partner is: By focusing on the things they do that irritate and annoy you, it’s actually pretty easy to forget that you love them. Work out your frustrations, sure, but don’t forget to notice the things about your partner that you love and appreciate. (And tell them about it.) 3. Holding grudges: Being angry with the one you love sometimes is perfectly normal, but holding a grudge over a long period of time for something that you have talked over and they’ve apologized for or you’ve worked out, is a recipe for disaster. It will stop you from loving them fully, so let it go. 4. Incompatibility: The first few months of a relationship can fool you into thinking that you get along with someone better than you really do, but over time, those real differences emerge. That usually means that as time goes by, and you see the truth, less fogged by passion, you feel less love for the person. 5. Dishonesty: Nothing makes someone fall out of love faster than feeling lied to or betrayed. If you want to see someone fall out of love with you in minutes, watch what happens when they catch you in a lie. Telling the truth can be difficult, but it’s part of the work of being in a loving relationship with someone. Be honest, and expect honesty in return. Just remember that you won’t always like what you hear, and that’s OK. 1
Awkward Grace Posted October 21, 2014 Posted October 21, 2014 I have a question for the thread starter. Did your past relationship fall within ALL of those listed ? Incompatible would be how I felt after he cheated. Ergo Divorced.
salparadise Posted October 21, 2014 Posted October 21, 2014 I would add one.. Resentment resulting from the expectation that your partner is supposed to heal your pain, fix what ails, and bestow happiness upon you. This dynamic often occurs between victim and rescuer. The rescuer becomes responsible for the victim's elusive happiness, victim becomes bully, rescuer becomes victim. Resentment, hostility, distancing... the downward spiral.
Author Tayken Posted October 22, 2014 Author Posted October 22, 2014 I have a question for the thread starter. Did your past relationship fall within ALL of those listed ? Incompatible would be how I felt after he cheated. Ergo Divorced. Fell free to call me OP or my username eh...I don't bite To answer your question, just #4. i.e there was a for in the road, and I ended it to her surprise. As they say, there is nothing like a woman scorned. it's no longer my monkey nor my circus. I have a divorce certificate to prove it
Awkward Grace Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 Fell free to call me OP or my username eh...I don't bite To answer your question, just #4. i.e there was a for in the road, and I ended it to her surprise. As they say, there is nothing like a woman scorned. it's no longer my monkey nor my circus. I have a divorce certificate to prove it Ha. I have one of those too. Thanks.
2.50 a gallon Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 Do not discount predators. There is class of both male and female, who get their rocks off seducing a married person. The woman with all the sexy moves and the guy who has all the right lines, because they work.
carhill Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 People are constantly changing and rarely are two people ever synergistic in the scope and type of change they experience in life. For awhile the heady brain chemicals of sex keep a couple glued together but eventually change rears its head of reality and that glue weakens and choices are made on the reality of the moment, and the next, and the next. IMO, if it weren't for socialized pair bonding and societal and peer pressure, relationships 'falling apart' would be pretty customary and unremarkable.
Quiet Storm Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 Other relationship killers that I see frequently: Family of Origin issues- Our original family, upbringing, childhood experiences, and old dysfunctional dynamics influence our adult relationships way more than most people think. Poor Coping Skills (including Addiction/ Alcoholism)- Every relationship has conflict and issues. When people seek to escape those issues, instead of dealing with them, the relationship suffers.
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