beatjunkies Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 I was just curious about this... Say your ex broke up with you and what not.. They still asked you about other girls and this and that and you dont talk too much.. then they call you.. do you think if you front like you are dating someone else that it will get to them ?? I have been broken up with my ex for about 3 months now.. she has a boyfriend now and i have done everything from pouring my heart out and then going to NC and her calling me.. now its like she doesnt call as much or whatever and just recently i poured my heart out again.. at this point i told her that i dont even think i can just be friends and thats stupid.. so i asked her if she thought we should still even talk and she said i dont know.. So do you think if next time we talk (if we do) i should try to make her jealous ?? or what ? btw she dumped me because i moved out of state and she though she'd never see me again so she started hanging out with this guy.. i moved back this past dec... and things are still the same.. so do you think it even matters now that she has a bf that i should front or what ? or should i just be like whatever and be real ?? i dont really care right now because i have tried everything else that i can think of and now i dont know what to do... Its hard to tell if she is over me or what ?? last time i hung out with her was feb 6 and she was all touchy and tickly and we really had a good time.. so i dont know.. she called me like the end of Feb and made up a lame excuse on why she called me.. since then it has been about 2 weeks (until yesterday when she called) as a result of me sending her a txt message.. ive been soo depressed since Oct.. it sucks and i cant think of any other approach... i am very stubborn and people say to just move on but i dont want to give up !! i was with this chick for 7 years and she means too much to just be out of my life !! i dont know i think i am torturing myself sometimes !! so what do you all think ??
helena abadi Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Sorry to say, if she's dating someone else, that's a pretty damn clear messge she's moved on. if you were together for a very long time, it's hard to get over it. The dumper and the dumpee go thru a hard time, the dumpee particularly. Sure, she still has some feelings for you, as was evident by her txt msg. Who wouldn't after such a long time? There will probably be mixed feelings on both sides for a while. breaking up is a process, not an automatic cut off. But if she's dating someone else, then her energies are focused elsewhere. And that, I'm afraid, is it. Time to move on. It's torture. I understand it. Been there. Done that. You will get thru it, eventually.
Author beatjunkies Posted March 11, 2005 Author Posted March 11, 2005 yeah you're right.. i just wish there was something I could do to get her back.. I know she would be happier with me.. She just thinks I am back to my old self again, hanging out with my friends all the time and I wouldnt have any time for her.. I told her that wasn't true and I have thought about alot of things and changed a lot.. So o well.. I need to just stop thinking that one day she is going to come back around.. Thanks for the input.. peace
helena abadi Posted March 12, 2005 Posted March 12, 2005 there is something you can do, but it might not get her back. you've made it crystal clear how you feel, and you've been the one making all the moves. that hasn't worked. so back up a bit. give her space. try no contact for a while. if she truely misses you, she will be back. space allows a hyper-sensitive situation to defuse, and both parties time to think more calmly. emotional space may also give you the time you need to start healing. it may not be what you want, but it may be what you will be faced with, anyway. sorry to hear you've been depressed. it's a common thing to happen with traumatic break-ups. it's insidious yet affects many of not all areas of our lives in which we thought we were functioning well. depression can be alleviated by exercise (which allows natural endorphins to kick in), getting adequate sleep, connecting to other meaningful people in your life, taking care of what you eat, and talking with someone about what's been going on. depression is tough as hell, it robs you of joy, energy, motivation. even the smallest steps forward will help you.
Author beatjunkies Posted March 12, 2005 Author Posted March 12, 2005 yeah about the only thing I can dois NC.. or at least just not call her still.. Yeah it sucks but I mean like I still go out with my friends and hang out but its the times when Im just not doing anything at home or whatever that I get like that.. Its not too bad on me though.. Im a pretty cheerful person but here and there it gets to me.. You know what im sayin.. Well I guess there is nothing more I can say or do except see if she calls.. So do you have a story about yer ex or sumthin ?? feel free to share if you want to Take care Peace
helena abadi Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 not really. but i've been where you are, and i was unprepared for the aftermath. i think few things in our lives have as much emotional impact as breaking up. it rocks our foundations. it's like experiencing a death. and there's grief to go with it. yes, it's not when we're with friends that we feel the emptiness most, but it's those other times which feel so empty, when only that special person filled that space. and there's a long list of little things that only you two shared. that's the really tough bit. when you're with someone a long time, your lives interconnect in so many areas. the emptiness yawns like an abyss. NC really is the best way. it protects you from further harm too. helps healing start. no phone calls, no txt msg either. zip. sounds as tho you've been doing some reading about NC on this site. it's good advice. i'm pretty impressed with what people have to say. helps to know when you're alone, you're not alone, if you get what i mean.
Author beatjunkies Posted March 13, 2005 Author Posted March 13, 2005 yeah ive read alot of NC on this site as well as read a couple of ebooks on how to get your ex back and what not.. I have done NC and have done pretty good.. i mean first starting was really hard !! but now its easier.. I guess when the NC starts to exceed the longest i have gone without talking to her, then its almost like trying to start if for the first time you know ?? Im always thinking " this is the first time in 8 years that ive gone this long without talking to my ex" So i dont know.. I am just not going to call her.. Its ok to answer if she calls though right ?? Take care !!
helena abadi Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 yeah, if she calls, that's fine, but make sure you're the one who says bye first, don't stretch the conversation out. that will keep her interested.
Dreamgirl03 Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 i was in a similar situation once..my exand i had dated for just over 2 years, he decides to dump me, he says cuz he mom said he couldnt see me anymore..i was crushed forever. The more i tried to work it out with him, the harder it was. I literally broke down in tears on hi shoulders over it and everything, still no luck. We didnt talk for like 2 months, and by that time me and my current b/f and i was starting to get into our relationship and everything..and out of no where he calls and says he wants to work things out and be friends. We still havent talked more than 3 times since then and that was like 2 years ago..and when he told me he was seeing another girl i was like omg..i couldnt believe it. I was actually jealous..even though we hadnt dated for like a year at that point, i was still like how dare you see someone else, even though i already was seeing another guy (i know..strange) But yeah, i know exactly how it is..the whole thing in general is strange and is very hard to get over. It takes time, but eventually you`ll get through it..
Author beatjunkies Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 thanks for the advice... Well I am just going to stick with what I have been doing and see how it goes.. Its just hard.. We were together soo long and on top of that we were each others 1st everything pretty much !! We grew up together you know? I guess if i were on the other end I would at least contact my ex and what not.. 8 years and all the shiz we have been through and we dont talk because of a new b/f ?? thats kinda messed up.. Ok im rambling on so i am going to get back to "work" .. Take care.. peace
Recommended Posts