ddc579 Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Now let me preface this by saying that I am old-fashioned and enjoy paying for the first date, regardless if it's good or bad (and in this case, it seemed good). I had a first date with a girl on Friday night. We went out to dinner and spent a few hours together. Overall, the communication flowed really well and I think we definitely had a good time. But we talked for awhile, even after the waitress dropped off the check. When it felt like the date was wrapping up, I grabbed the check. Now normally, women I've dated will at least pretend to go for their purse, and of course I'm going to say, "No no, I got it." (It's a song-and-dance, but it's just how it normally goes). This time, I took out my card, placed it into the check...and there wasn't even an attempt to pretend on her end. In and of itself, that doesn't bother me...but she also never said "thank you" either (even when the waitress brought my card back and I signed for everything). Maybe I'm too old-fashioned and a stickler for courtesy, but is it red-flaggy that there wasn't even a "thank you" at all?
BluEyeL Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Not sure, it's a first date. If you liked her otherwise, go to a couple more and be prepared to pay for 2 more dates. Try to find out more about her character. After three dates, if you still want to go on, you should discuss how to handle paying from then on. Taking turns would be an idea.
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 It's a least a yellow caution flag. Depending on how strongly you feel . . . You certainly aren't obligated to ask her for a 2nd date.
Emilia Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Maybe I'm too old-fashioned and a stickler for courtesy, but is it red-flaggy that there wasn't even a "thank you" at all? You aren't old fashioned, she has no manners. I hope you asked whether she enjoyed the meal? Giving her the opportunity to prove that she hadn't been raised in a barn? 1
Tayken Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 @OP....I completely understand how you must have felt after that, and this incident just goes to show that there are those out there, who think it's their God given right to be given something i.e. entitlement issue. You said this....In and of itself, that doesn't bother me...but she also never said "thank you" either (even when the waitress brought my card back and I signed for everything).. I'll say this is a good indication of what you can expect if you choose to pursue this any futher. So the question to you is, are you prepared to be a 'Mr Wonderful'?????? Some people see to have forgotten those little magic words of please and thank you.
me85 Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Me, being the polite person that I am...I always say thank you.
slizl Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Sometimes I forget to be honest. My girlfriend will pick up the check every now and again and we are usually deep in conversation when the check arrives. Anyway, I have forgotten to tell her thank you multiple times. I always remember later that night or the next day and thank her then, but I can see how someone could forget. I would give her another shot. It was a first date and she could have been nervous....
Author ddc579 Posted October 20, 2014 Author Posted October 20, 2014 It's a least a yellow caution flag. Depending on how strongly you feel . . . You certainly aren't obligated to ask her for a 2nd date. Thank you (and thank you to everyone for your feedback so far). I liked how everything else was going on the date, so it was admittedly a little jarring. I wasn't sure if it was jarring enough to disqualify all of the good things to potentially have a second date. But I also know that's something I ultimately have to decide for myself. I just didn't know if I was off-base for how I felt about it.
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