Emilia Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Yes, I did. I tried not to but this seeping disappointment would take over, and weird sadness. I know sometimes it'd be really bratty i.e something I wanted and he'd change it last second. The thing is, I really want to be 'normal' or at least feel so, so sometimes when people say 'take some time to think', it doesnt't resonate. All I've done is think for years. I feel like I almost just want permission to be myself, I'm very open and do have a big heart ( I'm stating the good things here, the bad would take us till tomorrow), and so like to just say what I feel however I feel that that can be misrepresented especially when I'm a ball of insecurity as I am now Sounds like you have abandonment issues potentially. Are you parents divorced/either of them left at any point when you were little? 1
Author purplesoul Posted October 20, 2014 Author Posted October 20, 2014 I was in theraphy but not sure what it did? It gave me strength to leave but deep inside I feel disconnected from world. Yes, my parents were absent for most of my childhood unfortunately but I reconciled with them. I can't stay angry or upset with anyone without being guilty. I just want to know how to gain the confidence to feel worthwhile. It's odd because whilst I can objectively see that I am lucky in many ways, my soul refuses to believe it. Also, I have this constant self doubt ( also with him) and would never believe him at face value ( for example if he called me pretty or said he'd like to take me out), I always doubted and was almost waiting for him to fail
Emilia Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 I was in theraphy but not sure what it did? It gave me strength to leave but deep inside I feel disconnected from world. Yes, my parents were absent for most of my childhood unfortunately but I reconciled with them. I can't stay angry or upset with anyone without being guilty. I just want to know how to gain the confidence to feel worthwhile. It's odd because whilst I can objectively see that I am lucky in many ways, my soul refuses to believe it. Also, I have this constant self doubt ( also with him) and would never believe him at face value ( for example if he called me pretty or said he'd like to take me out), I always doubted and was almost waiting for him to fail It's something that needs to be conquered nevertheless, many of us struggle with it here, it manifests itself in several ways: sabotaging relationships, picking the wrong partner who will leave you, etc. I can't give you advice on therapy specifically especially as I don't know anything about your location but hopefully others can. Maybe you can start a separate threads about that specifically. 1
CarrieT Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Was in therapy? You only stayed long enough to end your marriage? How long in therapy? Sounds like many of the issues you have would be well-suited to long-term therapy. It can take years and is not a quick-fix, see someone for a few weeks kinda-thing.
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