dd1463 Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Feel free to add on
Podna Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 1. Harlequin romance novels are not books. They are just comics for chicks. 1. What you call “emotional detachment” we call “being a man”, get used to it or go lesbian. 1. The phone is a communications device meant to convey important information. If you want to “just talk” bring your ass over that way I can ignore you face to face.
Mary3 Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 To the Original Poster dd1463 : Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night to a toilet seat that was left in the *up* position and sat down on the toilet and your arse hits the cold porcelain ? You technically * fall in * to the cold toilet....not pleasant....try it the next time you want to leave the seat * up *....please **really** try that....
mehim Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 I think these rules seem to be right, i hate to admit it, but they are.
bebegal Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 Have you.. Post: 4 | Quote: To the Original Poster dd1463 : Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night to a toilet seat that was left in the *up* position and sat down on the toilet and your arse hits the cold porcelain ? You technically * fall in * to the cold toilet....not pleasant....try it the next time you want to leave the seat * up *....please **really** try that.... May I add to that-- sitting on the cold poreclain as your booty sticks to the seat from all the pee -- as men hit everything besides the toilet---and never clean it up!!
Author dd1463 Posted March 13, 2005 Author Posted March 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 To the Original Poster dd1463 : Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night to a toilet seat that was left in the *up* position and sat down on the toilet and your arse hits the cold porcelain ? You technically * fall in * to the cold toilet....not pleasant....try it the next time you want to leave the seat * up *....please **really** try that.... turn on the lights... lol
Mary3 Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 LOL ! Well yea but I can honestly admit that at 3 am I just want to go potty and climb back into bed...I dont need to see the toilet
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