BlueTruth Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 First of all, thank you for the valuable insight already provided in this community as it has helped me tremendously in the past. I follow a policy of "don't date where you work," which there was a woman I met as a supervisor that I got along with really well. As her supervisor, I was not in a position to see her romantically despite getting along very well so I never pursued anything. About a year ago I transferred to a new position, but she was in a relationship. About a month ago we reconnected and went out to dinner together and chatted for about 4 hours. She expressed interest in meeting up again so we made plans. She had recently returned to school, and she was too busy to actually follow through so she offered a raincheck. Initially I thought the raincheck was a polite way of telling me no. I came across the forums here in researching the situation and the general consensus here was that it was really a raincheck that was not meant to be read into. In between the dates, I procrastinated for about 3 weeks since I was disappointed, during which time I made minimal effort to communicate because of the disappointment. In retrospect, this was a huge mistake, which I keep kicking myself for, but what's done is done and I can only hope that she's forgiven me. I feel like she deserves an apology, which I'll probably do the next time I see her because I feel awful. Last week I opted to take her up on the raincheck. On Friday we went out to dinner again and spent 4 hours chatting about our lives, hobbies and families again. She appeared receptive to my flirting and expressed interest in meeting up again. I don't want to make the same mistake twice so this time I texted her yesterday for a little bit to see how she's doing. Considering I have already made a mistake once, I am not sure how to proceed from here. To some extent I feel like I made so many mistakes already that I am a bit ashamed and feel like I should just move on. I was thinking about trying to call tomorrow to make plans for this weekend. The mistake coupled with my shyness make the situation very sensitive. I feel like my social anxiety may be getting the best of me in this case. I joke with friends that I should just give them my phone for the day and let them text on my behalf because I don't know what to say. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
rdet123 Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 I would suggest texting her to ask her out again. I wouldn't suggest texting her everyday, but definitely don't go more than 2 days without texting her. I know for me if it goes that long I just presume the guy is uninterested. It may not be the case for other women. It seems like you guys get along quite well already since she first of all agreed to another date after so long of not talking, and also that the date went on for 4 hours each time. I think she obviously likes you, it's just up to you to set the pace of how often you see her and contact her
heartshaped Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Call tomorrow make plans for the weekend. On next date mention something along the lines of, "sorry for the delay between dates I had been busy, but I'm interested in getting to know you." You haven't made so many mistakes at all. Just one being a little petty about her giving you a rain check, but there's no reason things can't move forward now. Be regular in contact, I'd say once every couple of days at first, and always make plans then confirm. Don't let your anxiety ruin this for you.
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