irc333 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Found this article a friend of mine posted on Facebook. I pretty much went through the same situation as TargetLock....though it was only 2 months, not sure it compares....but this article estimates the honeymoon phase at 2 years. That the after a time, passionate love turns into companionate love. The latter is mistaken for "growing part" or incompatibility or unhappiness. That being said, I'm thinking some people inadvertently break up for that reason? Yes? I guess that's where they got the phrase, "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you." And thus call it all off? "Honey, it's not working, I think we're no longer compatible or IN love anymore" "Not to worry, hon, this article tells us we are just in a different phase of our relationship, it's called companionate love!" "Oh okay, then I'll throw out these divorce papers!" Yes? No?
Chasin Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 This exact thing was talked about at church today. We just finished a marriage lesson. There IS NO SUCH THING as "incompatibility." This is a made up word to make you feel better for how lousy you truly feel. Everyone is compatible. Whether your lifestyles are the same or totally different. It takes you BOTH to work at it. It's not easy. But well worth it. I also found that article via FB a few days ago. That opened my eyes to that feeling we all get, we love eachother, you're just not in love. And I think that is due to the immaturity of your love life, which brings you to the beginning again and you want to crave thag excitement of the honeymoon stage where I'm reality, true love is beyond thst and we often mistake it like you said.
xxoo Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 If someone wants to throw in the towel after the honeymoon phase, that would probably indicate that companionate love didn't develop on their end. Nevertheless, the strongest relationships have passion, intimacy, and commitment throughout the relationship. Passion needn't end after the honeymoon phase, although its relative importance will be reduced as intimacy and commitment rise. Couples should work at keeping the spark alive, treating each other as dating partners even as they settle into marriages. Complacency is the death knell for relationships. 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 If you don't make it through the honeymoon phase, you didn't have what it takes as a couple, I think. Either the relationship wasn't strong enough or somebody wasn't all in.
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