Stumble Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I heard it many times,that having sex with a guy too soon can ruin a chance of a relationship with them. I sometimes believe it too and always give my friends advice like why buy the cow when they can get free milk. But one or two of my colleagues said it is bull****. I know it depends on the situation of the 2 people. But in my experience I have tried to hard to hold off sex with men I really like, for example for 2-3 months but it is so damn hard!! I will never have sex on first or second or third date but after that I just wanna get in with it and hope that they will stick around after sex. Can anyone out there tell me from their experience if having sex too can ruin the relationship or had a successful relationship after having sex early on? Early I mean within 1-2 months.
organizedchaos Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I heard it many times,that having sex with a guy too soon can ruin a chance of a relationship with them. I sometimes believe it too and always give my friends advice like why buy the cow when they can get free milk. But one or two of my colleagues said it is bull****. I know it depends on the situation of the 2 people. But in my experience I have tried to hard to hold off sex with men I really like, for example for 2-3 months but it is so damn hard!! I will never have sex on first or second or third date but after that I just wanna get in with it and hope that they will stick around after sex. Can anyone out there tell me from their experience if having sex too can ruin the relationship or had a successful relationship after having sex early on? Early I mean within 1-2 months. There is no set rule. My last ex I had sex with on the first date. We were together 3 years. I've dated others where sex happened on first, second or third date and didn't go much farther. Current gf we waited six weeks and it's a great relationship. I think what determines if it's just sex or relationship material is chemistry and timing. Doesn't matter how long you wait for sex.
Andy_K Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Every relationship I've had has begun with sex on dates 1-3. The few times I've slept with a girl after 4+ dates, utimately we've never lasted more than 2 or 3 months. "Why buy the cow when the milk is free" Wrong question. Why try to sell a cow to someone who only wants milk? Sell it to someone who actually wants a cow instead. In other words, no amount of waiting for sex will make a guy value you or want a relationship with you. He either does or he doesn't. You don't change how he feels, you pick a different guy. 6
Author Stumble Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 Every relationship I've had has begun with sex on dates 1-3. The few times I've slept with a girl after 4+ dates, utimately we've never lasted more than 2 or 3 months. "Why buy the cow when the milk is free" Wrong question. Why try to sell a cow to someone who only wants milk? Sell it to someone who actually wants a cow instead. In other words, no amount of waiting for sex will make a guy value you or want a relationship with you. He either does or he doesn't. You don't change how he feels, you pick a different guy. Because you don't always know if they want milk or the cow, I'm not that experience you see. But I know that I hate the waiting, time set rules bull****. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) Because you don't always know if they want milk or the cow, I'm not that experience you see. But I know that I hate the waiting, time set rules bull****. It's about you gauging the interest and compatibility of this guy while getting to know him on a deeper level that should in turn build some trust and confidence before sleeping with him...in theory anyway, unfortunately there are women who don't understand anything about men and it's essentially an extended period of sexual banter and flirting where it's pretty much just a build up until you actually have sex...you need to actually know what you're doing with that time and how to read men on some basic level, the delay in sex will "hopefully" give a fighting chance of weeding out guys who are not really that interested, but are pretending to be. A lot of guys are only interested in the milk, but don't want to pay that much for it so they'll be out of your hair quickly. Other guys might take the milk if it's being given away but not necessarily be interested in the cow. The problem is if you have sex with a guy early on chances are you're going to be sleeping with a lot of guys that will sleep with you just for sleeping with you sake. Then it becomes the guys call...whether he wants to take you seriously or not. You also can understand why guys aren't necessarily going to be happy about promoting you waiting to sleep with men, because well they're benefiting from it as well...it's not in their interest to promote the idea that women should wait but if you want to actually try and find a guy that wants to be with you, then you should take some time getting to know him. It's up to you how long you want to wait, just realize a lot of guys are shopping for milk....not so much for cows. You've got the milk, so it's your call and you should always assume that they'd at least have a drink. Edited October 19, 2014 by Ninjainpajamas 1
carhill Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 After genetics are investigated, one buys the cow to maximize its butterfat, as well as to breed to top bull stocks for improving on the genetics of the cow in its offspring to create greater value in both the individual cow and the herd in general, generally to improve gross revenues and net profits. Simply taking the milk gains only the value of the milk, which is generally considered a waste product, with the butterfat being the valued commodity. Oh, right, we're talking about women and sex...forgot
Author Stumble Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 So I have known this guy for a couple of years and he was really Into to me and I did click with him but nothing happened because It was not a good timing for me as I had to deal with family stuff and I told him that we can only be friends. We hung out out a few times and I slowly faded cos it was not a good timing for me. However he was always at the back of my mind and always feel that we are very compatible and we clicked. He then moved abroad and I was a little sad about it but what could I do. I met up before he left and said goodbye as friends etc. then a year went by, he came to back to visit his family where I live and we caught up and he told me he was seeing a girl but broke up etc etc, general catch up. I find myself that I still have that attraction to him but then it is too late as he lives far away now. However we flirted and it ended with a kiss. Then we had to part again when he went back. Then I still find myself thinking about him but I didn't do anything because I felt that he was hurt from his previous break up. Then a few months went by he is still at the back of my mind. Eventually he invited me to visit him sometimes and it was a perfect timing for me to take holidays off work so I went to see him. I was so happy that he messaged me and caught up with me again. Every time I meet him I'm more attracted to him cos I get to know him more and more. I went to visit him with no expectations of relationships or anything, I thought okay, holiday, fun. However when I visited, we kissed in the first day I arrived and then eventually slept with him. It has been 2 years since have known this guy. During my holiday I felt so loved, we had so much chemistry and se said he feels the same about me, but we never discussed about relationship as I think it is too soon. Now I can say that I really do like him. We connect in so many levels and all we did was making each other laugh. I had a great holiday with him, and he introduced me to all his friends and took me out every night. Now did I sleep with him too soon? I know he has always been In to me but I'm afraid that I may have ruined the chance of forming a relationship with him.
Dallers Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Every relationship I've had has begun with sex on dates 1-3. The few times I've slept with a girl after 4+ dates, utimately we've never lasted more than 2 or 3 months. "Why buy the cow when the milk is free" Wrong question. Why try to sell a cow to someone who only wants milk? Sell it to someone who actually wants a cow instead. In other words, no amount of waiting for sex will make a guy value you or want a relationship with you. He either does or he doesn't. You don't change how he feels, you pick a different guy. This ^^^ all day long. It is like trying to change an Alpha male into a Beta male. I want sex. I got it with my current casual acquaintance on a first date. I only want sex but will go through any trial to get it. Why would I wait around for a month or more for something that someone else is offering on a first date? If I wanted a relationship, I would be looking for relationship material. Rarely does a guy go, this girl that screwed me on a first date is wifey through and through. Stop making excuses for the way somebody is an just next them and find someone else.
Maleficent Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Whoever will compare a woman to a milking cow gets absolutely no respect from me.
Gloria25 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Because you don't always know if they want milk or the cow, I'm not that experience you see. But I know that I hate the waiting, time set rules bull****. And, that's why you wait....hopefully with time, and if you want something serious with him, you two can bond and see if he really, really, is connecting with you on a deeper level. So, the "time" thing is not some 'rules-game'...it's to allow you to figure out if you two have more in common than sex and good times. The other problem with having sex too soon is that some people are get "sex-goggles" and think there's a connection - when all that's going on are two people having sex.
SawtoothMars Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 (edited) Wrong question. Why try to sell a cow to someone who only wants milk? Sell it to someone who actually wants a cow instead. In other words, no amount of waiting for sex will make a guy value you or want a relationship with you. He either does or he doesn't. You don't change how he feels, you pick a different guy. Dudes who just want "milk" are not going to hang around for 3 months just waiting for it. That would take some serious patience and commitment. Which is why this whole advice set is total crap. My advice is to wait until you feel ready. Otherwise don't jump into bed with some guy. Edited October 20, 2014 by SawtoothMars
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