JennyGreen Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 This guy named Brady, my best female friends brother, calls me last night at almost 2am and he was really drunk. He told me he was out, drank too much and couldn't drive home. And asked if he could come over to my place. Of course I said yes. I didn't want him to drive drunk. Anyway, he arrived in a taxi. That's when I realized, if he came to my place on a cab, why couldn't he just take that same can to his own place? But I didn't say anything. I fixed him up to sleep on my sofa. When he saw the sofa set up, he asked me "oh you're making me sleep on the couch? You know I have a bad back." (He doesn't have a bad back). So I joked and said "well you sure ain't getting my bed!". So he asked me to stay with him until he was tired. I said ok and sat on the other sofa. He motioned for me to come to his sofa, so I did. We talked a little about non sense things. Then he started touching me. My shoulders, my knees, my hair, my face. So I stopped him. I said you're drunk, I'm going to bed. He laughed and said I was right. We said good night and that was that. He was gone the next morning when I woke up. I don't even know when he left. Then he texted my this morning saying exactly this: I'm sorry I'm an idiot I don't even know what he's apologizing for. I asked him but no response. The whole night just felt a bit off.
Chasin Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I definitely feel that he was trying to score. I mean unless you guys were super cool and bestfriends, otherwise I'd definitely assume he was trying to booty call you. 1
Chemist Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I'm sorry I'm an idiot I don't even know what he's apologizing for. I asked him but no response. The whole night just felt a bit off. Are you kidding? He feels like he was disrespectful by touching and trying to put the moves on you and also he is embarrassed that you shut him down. He feels like you probably think he's a creep or something now. Just tell him that you were flattered (if you were) or that it's nothing to be sorry about. Chances are he either thought he could get with you for a one night stand type thing or he really likes you or at least has a crush on you and only has the confidence to do something like that when he was very drunk. 1
Author JennyGreen Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 Did he honestly think it'd be that easy? I mean, we're friends. If that. He's never ever tried to ask me out or put the moves on me before. Did he think I'd just let him in, spread my legs and go to town? That's so gross.
Yookie Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Did he honestly think it'd be that easy? I mean, we're friends. If that. He's never ever tried to ask me out or put the moves on me before. Did he think I'd just let him in, spread my legs and go to town? That's so gross. Yes. He did. He was drunk and you'd be surprised how easy it can be. 1
potsticker Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Did he honestly think it'd be that easy? I mean, we're friends. If that. He's never ever tried to ask me out or put the moves on me before. Did he think I'd just let him in, spread my legs and go to town? That's so gross. well there's a few possiblities. And I wouldn't jump to conclusions.... but that's a pretty dangerous situation. Not to sound alarming but this feels like one of those situations where it could have devolved into an R word situation. They do say among college age kids, acquaintances who aren't quite friends are the ones most often known to be the oblivious assailant because of the ambiguity of social barriers, recent freedom from parental supervision, and prevalence of (the male) social pressure.
Chemist Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Did he honestly think it'd be that easy? I mean, we're friends. If that. He's never ever tried to ask me out or put the moves on me before. Did he think I'd just let him in, spread my legs and go to town? That's so gross. You know him better than us. Does he usually ask girls out if he likes them? Is he confident? It doesn't matter if he thought it would be that easy.. What is more likely is that he likes you and doesn't have the confidence to tell you. Or he thought it would be that easy.. because it happens. I had a girl show up at my dorm once in college, no idea who she was. We played counter strike online together on a college associated server and she used the school directory to find me. Three hours later, we boned... twice.
Author JennyGreen Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 well there's a few possiblities. And I wouldn't jump to conclusions.... but that's a pretty dangerous situation. Not to sound alarming but this feels like one of those situations where it could have devolved into an R word situation. They do say among college age kids, acquaintances who aren't quite friends are the ones most often known to be the oblivious assailant because of the ambiguity of social barriers, recent freedom from parental supervision, and prevalence of (the male) social pressure. Omg!! I don't think he would have raped me! You just creeped the begeezus outta me ..
potsticker Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) Omg!! I don't think he would have raped me! You just creeped the begeezus outta me .. yknow, that's the same principle behind how pedophiles who molest kids are more often a trusted family friend rather than a complete stranger. These people instinctively understand that the easiest way to get what they want is to somehow gain the trust of someone, then deceive them. Fortune tellers, manipulative gold diggers, etc. all work on the same basis. As weird and creepy as it may seem, it may be prudent to keep these possible red flags in mind. Hell, we live in a world where facebook stalking people is considered normal and it's not completely unheard of where people get stalked irl by internet acquaintances. Rather than assume you know people to be sane, it may be safer to assume insane until proven sane. look, there's a good chance he's just a confused guy who may or may not be crushing on you, may or may not have been hoping for something that night. But do you know him as well as you seem to trust him? Isn't most of that trust only there because he's related to your best friend? What IF something wrong had happened, and he was a bit more aggressive? He's your best friend's brother, would you be able to tell anyone without thinking about how you'd hurt the people around you? Edited October 19, 2014 by potsticker
Chemist Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Not to sound alarming but this feels like one of those situations where it could have devolved into an R word situation. eh, this seems a little paranoid for sure. That is like saying any time a guy and a girl are a lone, and the guy tries to kiss a girl, it can turn into an R situation. I don't know, this way of thinking implies OP has no idea about her friend and how she trusted him enough to let him crash at her place.
potsticker Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 eh, this seems a little paranoid for sure. That is like saying any time a guy and a girl are a lone, and the guy tries to kiss a girl, it can turn into an R situation. I don't know, this way of thinking implies OP has no idea about her friend and how she trusted him enough to let him crash at her place. fair enough. I just get the feeling from her post that the social boundaries aren't quite solid, and that's usually enough to get ME worried.
Cristo Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Sounds like he was just nervous to make a move so he did so when he was very drunk. He wasn't trying to rape you lol. That conclusion is insane.
potsticker Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) Sounds like he was just nervous to make a move so he did so when he was very drunk. He wasn't trying to rape you lol. That conclusion is insane. I'm not saying that he was consciously trying to and went to her place with that conscious intent. But assuming that that's how most rapes start (with conscious intent) is wrong. No one ever wants to think of themselves as the villain in their own story, and thus people sometimes twist facts to rationalize their crazed actions. The "dudes" social pressure doesn't help Edited October 19, 2014 by potsticker
henderson14 Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 Ha. that was definitely a booty call! He was drunk though so give him a break.
smackie9 Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 This is just a case of him having a crush on you and too much liquid courage. It's all innocent, and he feels like an idiot. He is kicking himself because he blew it with you. I doubt very highly he thinks you are that easy, it was the alcohol talking. He is now sticking his head in the sand. If you want answers ask your friend what the hell her brother was thinking.
smackie9 Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 It wouldn't surprise me that his buddies knew that he liked you and during the night were egging him on to do something about it.
Author JennyGreen Posted October 20, 2014 Author Posted October 20, 2014 It wouldn't surprise me that his buddies knew that he liked you and during the night were egging him on to do something about it. Best reply I've gotten so far!! That is exactly true. I talked to my friend (his sister) and she told me that a bunch of his friends were all saying he didn't have the nerve to do it. So he tried. I kinda feel bad for him now lol he's going to look like a dork to his boys
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