Temptris34 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Ok. I will keep it short. I'm being accused of breaking girl code by one of my best friends who's not even directly involved. She's not speaking to me as of yesterday. She also said some pretty mean things. This is someone I have bent over backwards for and have been there for her on many Many occasions. I was with this guy for a year. We had strong feelings between us and shared a fun, wonderful year together. Of course there was sex involved within that year..lots...but was 25 years ago. We have recently found each other again. Here's the problem. One of my best friends ( not the one I mentioned in the beginning of this story) started dating him, knowing we had a past, but I was totally fine with it. They hung out maybe 5 times and had sex once. Yes it was a little weird knowing she started to hang out with him but I was fine with it. If he was the one to make her happy then cool. He found out she was one of my best friends. My name came up. Natural curiosity came up with him and he sent me a Fbook request which I promptly mentioned to her. Mind you they had no relationship nor feelings involved between them. They had not been in contact for over a month. This guy and I wanted to meet up for a beer and catch up. I asked her if that would be ok. I talked to her about it til I was blue in the face. It shouldn't have mattered anyways since they had no relationship however I asked anyways. She said she was fine with it. She told me she didn't think he was that attractive, he had kids and she thought he was a player...(she's jaded from recent break up with her long term bf) and she wasn't looking for a relationship with him. So, I cleared it. However, my other best friend whom she lives with is freaking out. Screaming girl code and how she thought I was better than this and Yada Yada. Very rude and mean to me even though it doesn't concern her and I've already talked to the other friend about it. Insight to this girl code screeching friend....we were on vacation. I liked this one guy who I was hanging with one night and flirting with...I told her I liked him. She promptly started flirting with him and he chose to hang out with her. I didn't freak out. I was miffed but let it go. Not going to let a guy ruin a friendship. So she's a bit of a hypocrit. Back to story.....I've hung out with him about 6 or 7 times. We have great chemistry and a wonderful connection. We are both in our 40's. It's been wonderful re connecting with him. I've spoken to a few of my other girlfriends about this and they say I'm not doing anything wrong and not violating anything. I'm just wondering why my screeching friend says " you don't date someone your friend dated, EVER. Those were her exact words but how is it ok that my friend started dating him knowing he n I were together years ago, and didn't get the wrath about girl code? It's all so crazy. I'm tore up about it. I've dated some using, butt holes lately and it's so refreshing to have found someone that thinks I'm amazing and wonderful and wants to be with me....again after so many years. It's weird how we found our way back to each other, but we did. Please help. Am I wrong? Ugh
Maleficent Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Breaking girl code? How old is she, 15? lol
KFuPanda Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 all's fair in love and war. **** the girl code.
Author Temptris34 Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 Do you think I'm being dis respectful to our friendship? She is 35. My other friend who was dating my ex from years ago is 50 These are my best friends. I am beating myself up listening to my one friend telling me how bad this is n Yada Yada I had him first! :-)
Author Temptris34 Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 And she's not talking to me because she is so hurt by me and so pissed......what?! She's not even involved!
Maleficent Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Do you think I'm being dis respectful to our friendship? She is 35. My other friend who was dating my ex from years ago is 50 These are my best friends. I am beating myself up listening to my one friend telling me how bad this is n Yada Yada I had him first! :-) Well she is acting like a brat. Do you really want people like that in your life? Are you going to do whatever she likes whenever she doesn't agree with what you are doing?
Author Temptris34 Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 That's true. She is acting like a brat. She's not directly involved either. I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing with the situation regarding this guy. I just want to know that I haven't violated.
IronZ Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 lol I love that you said I'll keep it short and then didn't Also, as everyone else has said, forget "girl code". And you know what? Forget your so called best friend. She sounds like a lunatic. You said yourself she broke this supposed "girl code" before too. So what gives her the right to "screech" about it. She sounds very immature. Go do your thing and don't let this girl tell you otherwise. If she continues to be annoying about it, drop her as a friend. Honestly, I wouldn't associate with people like that. She has serious issues.
dragonfire13 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Ok. I will keep it short. I'm being accused of breaking girl code by one of my best friends who's not even directly involved. She's not speaking to me as of yesterday. She also said some pretty mean things. This is someone I have bent over backwards for and have been there for her on many Many occasions. I was with this guy for a year. We had strong feelings between us and shared a fun, wonderful year together. Of course there was sex involved within that year..lots...but was 25 years ago. We have recently found each other again. Here's the problem. One of my best friends ( not the one I mentioned in the beginning of this story) started dating him, knowing we had a past, but I was totally fine with it. They hung out maybe 5 times and had sex once. Yes it was a little weird knowing she started to hang out with him but I was fine with it. If he was the one to make her happy then cool. He found out she was one of my best friends. My name came up. Natural curiosity came up with him and he sent me a Fbook request which I promptly mentioned to her. Mind you they had no relationship nor feelings involved between them. They had not been in contact for over a month. This guy and I wanted to meet up for a beer and catch up. I asked her if that would be ok. I talked to her about it til I was blue in the face. It shouldn't have mattered anyways since they had no relationship however I asked anyways. She said she was fine with it. She told me she didn't think he was that attractive, he had kids and she thought he was a player...(she's jaded from recent break up with her long term bf) and she wasn't looking for a relationship with him. So, I cleared it. However, my other best friend whom she lives with is freaking out. Screaming girl code and how she thought I was better than this and Yada Yada. Very rude and mean to me even though it doesn't concern her and I've already talked to the other friend about it. Insight to this girl code screeching friend....we were on vacation. I liked this one guy who I was hanging with one night and flirting with...I told her I liked him. She promptly started flirting with him and he chose to hang out with her. I didn't freak out. I was miffed but let it go. Not going to let a guy ruin a friendship. So she's a bit of a hypocrit. Back to story.....I've hung out with him about 6 or 7 times. We have great chemistry and a wonderful connection. We are both in our 40's. It's been wonderful re connecting with him. I've spoken to a few of my other girlfriends about this and they say I'm not doing anything wrong and not violating anything. I'm just wondering why my screeching friend says " you don't date someone your friend dated, EVER. Those were her exact words but how is it ok that my friend started dating him knowing he n I were together years ago, and didn't get the wrath about girl code? It's all so crazy. I'm tore up about it. I've dated some using, butt holes lately and it's so refreshing to have found someone that thinks I'm amazing and wonderful and wants to be with me....again after so many years. It's weird how we found our way back to each other, but we did. Please help. Am I wrong? Ugh So the friend who's actually involved, and got with the guy after you did, is fine with it, but this girl who has nothing to do with the situation is getting her knickers (or panties, for you Yanks ) in a twist? Point out to this busybody that with that rationale, your mutual friend was the one who initially broke the girl code. Then tell her to mind her own business, and if your friend has a problem with it she can tell you herself.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Is she in love with him or something? Did they ever go on a date? She sounds like she is projecting hugely. Something is off. She is far too emotionally involved for someone who has nothing to do with it. Is she mad at you for some other reason, and using this as an excuse to punish you? In any event, I would stop contacting her. She is far too old to be throwing silly tantrums. Do what you like - don't let her snarly, immature and self-righteous attitude prevent a good thing from happening. She doesn't sound like much of a friend, anyway.
Diezel Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I thought this was a high school thread until you said you were in your 40's. Tell your "adult" friend to go pound rocks.
Author Temptris34 Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 The one throwing a tizzy has never gone out with him. She wasn't mad at me for anything before this. She is going through some personal drama too. Constant break ups w her boyfriend, money issues Yada Yada. True that she's not much of a friend if she can blow this so far out of proportion. Yes it does seem high school!! I just don't want to hurt my other friend in any way. She said she's ok with us being friends ( me n guy ) I'm not sure how to bring up dating the guy to her.
kaylan Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 You cleared it with the friend, and you actually were the first to date the girl way back when. I dont see the problem.
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