Can GIGS strike twice!?

[CT98]

Hi all, break up was 5 weeks ago. The more I think about it the more I can attribute it to being GIGS. This is not the first time it has happened with this girl, let me give you some history, I will try to keep it short and to the point.

 

I met her when she was 17 and I was 22, the age difference kinda worried me at first but we seemed to get along well, and it didn't affect anything so I carried on with it.

 

Things for the first year were really good, we were really close and just had a lot of fun. In March of our first year together she turned 18, I knew that this might affect things and I might be on the receiving end of a dumping, but I told myself I was just being silly and over thinking things. Anyway, in May I was dumped by text message, it seemingly came out of nowhere and until I visited this board and came across the GIGS thread I was confused and dumfounded.

 

I knew that having just turned 18, and being the legal drinking age in the UK, she wanted to go out and party with her friends, without having to worry about what I thought about it.

 

We went back and forth for 5 months with her telling me she had feelings for me, then telling me she didn't, then telling me she wanted to hang out with me, then telling me she wasn't sure what she wanted. I stupidly kept pandering to her and put myself through hell until I finally told myself I'd had enough and went NC.

 

A month of NC and she comes back telling me she wasn't sure why she was acting the way she was, she wants me back etc etc. I took her back, rightly or wrongly but thinking that whole episode was over, she'd experienced the GIGS and the girl I know is back.

 

Things were good for another 10 months, she was devoted to me, went away on trips, no problems at all, a happy boy I was.

 

 

Then bang, 5 weeks ago it's all over again. Again, kinda came out of nowhere, clutching at straws with the reasons etc.

 

I do remember having a chat with her before the break up, and she got upset saying she's only 19, I'm so much older than her, she's not sure if she wants to leave home (I'm currently saving to buy my first house that we were both going to live in, she has been behind the idea - well that's what I thought!)

 

I'm thinking it's GIGS, but can this sort of thing happen twice? With the same person? I haven't seen any examples on this board of it happening more than once.

 

I'm NC and doing my best to move on, was just wondering what LoveShack members might think of my situation.

[Marco Valerio]

Hi friend, yes of course it can happen. More or less the same thing happened to me, the best thing you can do, for your sanity, is to stay away from her until she matures, she experiences all the partying, flirting...

[ExpatInItaly]

Sure, it can happen more than once. And if it does, it's generally an indicator that the relationship isn't the right one and it's not going to work out.

 

She sounds too young to be involved in something as serious as you might be looking for. Her going back and forth isn't enough to sustain a relationship. I would continue to NC and move on.

[Ronni_W]

I'm thinking it's GIGS, but can this sort of thing happen twice? With the same person? I haven't seen any examples on this board of it happening more than once.

Give her a break! She is only in process of figuring out Life and her place in it and where and how and what she wants and needs from, and likes and dislikes in Life, for herself.

 

When people do not do that at a younger age then, yes, those same ones will be subject to suffer from GIGS later in life...once or eight times or however many it takes for them to finally figure out their own wants, needs, likes and dislikes. Then they'll know how G their own G is or isn't, and will be able to make informed decisions about staying in or walking away from whatever job or relationship or circumstance.

 

This girl you posted about is doing the exact appropriate thing for her age; it's not a fault or "syndrome" at this stage.