acidrein_08 Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 She called me twice in the span of a couple hours and both times I didn't answer and she left no voicemail, then she called again for the third time and I finally gave in and answered becuase I wanted to know what was so important. She says hey and I ask her if there is anything wrong and she says no she just wanted to talk to me. She asked me if I had gotten the job (I called her a few nights ago to ask for a reference, the job is a few states away) She goes on to start talking about little things and tells me she saw me leaving a club with her hat on (again) and asked why I never did things like that when I was with her. I was annoyed so I was like what do you mean, I never knew about the place and why do you even want to know, is that why you called? She is like no. She talked about the hat and said I could keep it and I told her I liked it and I would have probably kept it either way lol. She asked me if I had anything to say and I was like no, and asked her if she had anything to say, she said no. (By then I was really mad and confused about why the hell she called). So I was like it doesn't even feel right talking to you and she is like why and I tell her what I have told her before that I can't be friends with her and she is like fine, I understand and she is like well I'll delete you from my phonebook and I say ok. So we get off the phone. I think she is mad so I call her back and ask and she says she isn't and she said that is exactly why she called before to make sure I wasn't mad at her. She said we went out for to long and she couldn't stand if someone is mad at her (before she called today why would she think I was mad). I told her i wasn't, and I say she sounds tired and she says she fell asleep in the library earlier. So then I was like I got to go and she says ok, and so we get off. So now I am totally confused and I don't know what to do or think. We broke a little over a month ago and I have been on no contact pretty much the whole time except a couple times. Is it time to give in and become friends with her? I mean if things were to ever work then we would have to start somewhere. Shew I'm just so messed up right now, someone please help with some advice.
westernxer Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Do you really want to be friends with her after all you've done together? If the answer's no, then don't talk to her. That's one thing I don't understand about women... why they obssess over whether or not we're mad at them after a break up. If you're no longer together... it's absurd. Don't try to read into this too much. Let her delete your number, but don't stop there. Just change your number altogether, that way you won't be disturbed by her anymore. Do it. Do it. Do it.
fundamental Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 It seems as if she wants to play mind games with you. She is calling to find out how life is going and to find out if you have gotten a new WOMAN in your life. You handled than conversation all wrong. Next time she calls and you feel confident enough to pick up...when she starts talking about your life and what you are up to, just tell her that you met an interesting girl (somewhere) and that you have been talking with her, and that you are going to go on a fun date. Tell the ex that you are excited and happy about this upcoming date. Then tell her that you have to go run some errands and that you will call her back ...IF you get a chance. End the phone conversation. This is used to show her that you have moved on with your life. Even if you are not going out with someone, just used the little story. I know it hard to do something like that but you know what DO IT. That way you are sticking it to her....and she will probably be in shock. Looks like to me that she wants to see you upset, confused, and miserable. You know why???? Because she is guilty of treating you wrong. That's not your fault. Remember you have to think of yourself as a winning lottery ticket and she lost you.
davedawgaz Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 What up Acid. Don't lie. No BS anout some other girl. If you want her back give it a try, I can tell that inside, that is what you really want. Follow your heart, it is not lying to you.
westernxer Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Off the subject for just a second... Fundamental, that's an awesome alias. I used to love that game. Sorry about that, everyone... I couldn't resist.
fundamental Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Originally posted by davedawgaz What up Acid. Don't lie. No BS anout some other girl. If you want her back give it a try, I can tell that inside, that is what you really want. Follow your heart, it is not lying to you. And if he wants her and she doesnt want him???? The whole thing is going to start over again. Oh wait... so I see....when she gets bored of other guys, acid will always be there. This is not a good situation to be in...maybe she wants you back for a week or two until she decides she wants to break it off again and see someone else. ACID: Yes, do what davedawgaz says to do, follow your heart. She has already chewed it up once and it won't be the last. You have already given up total power...100% in your relationship to her. If you are happy with her controlling every part of your relationship, go ahead and call her. Maybe you will get back together. The BS lying is used to never let a person see you sweat. Get some bollz. If you act the way you are acting with her...she has control to break up and make up with you as many times as she wants. Unfortunately buddy, you dont have that power. You are the puppet and she is the puppet master. I am just telling it how it is!!!
fundamental Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Off the subject for just a second... Fundamental, that's an awesome alias. I used to love that game. Sorry about that, everyone... I couldn't resist. I'll knock you out in round 1!!! LOL
westernxer Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 I HATE ALL DUMPERS :mad: Sometimes you have to do it for your own sanity, especially if she doesn't love you back. I agree with Fundamental... forget about your heart, because it won't help you make rational decisions. Follow your gut, because it won't betray you the way your heart will.
Author acidrein_08 Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 She called me yesterday afternoon becuase Florida beat Kentucky in a basketball game (shes a big UK fan and I love UF) and she called to talk about the game. She went on to talk about a car she drove around and was thinking about buying and said she was gonna stop by to see what I thought about it but didn't. When I told her I had sold my car, she asked me if I wanted to go up next week to look at cars with her just as friends. I told her I didn't think so and she told me to think about it. We also talked about so money I owed her and she didn't want me to have to go to the bank to get it. So we got off the phone. She called back about an hour later and said she changed her mind about the money and I told her I would run it by her house later, she said to leave it in the mailbox if she wasn't there and I said well can I do that even if you are there and she said no pull in and I will come out and talk to you. So I said fine, and we got off. I texted her about an hour later and told her I would run it by late tonight, she said ok. But I never ended up running it over there. She called me this morning and asked about it and said she couldn't believe I didn't bring it. She told me I always did wht I told her I was going to do, but said she wasn't jumping on me it just hurt her. So she told me not to worry about it and said to keep it. Then we got off the phone. I called her not to long ago and asked her for her address so I could send her the stuff and she told me its alright. She told me she was a couple weeks away from moving into her new home and said she was going to come get me so I could see it. Then I asked if she wanted to go to the tournament this weekend and she said she had been saving up her money for a car and didn't think she would be able to. On another note she told me she would miss me if I moved and be worried about me constantly and said I was a good boyfriend, then we got off.
sanne Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 acid, i think you've made everyone on these boards proud. Look at how far you've come from before when you guys first broke up. Do you see how much that screwed with her head that you didn't do what you said you were going to do, she doesn't have that control or power over you anymore. It's your job to make sure she knows she never will have that kind of control over you again. Good job man, keep it up.
fundamental Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 acidrein_08, Good job man!!! Hang in there!!!
theone44 Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by acidrein_08 She called me twice in the span of a couple hours and both times I didn't answer and she left no voicemail, then she called again for the third time and I finally gave in and answered becuase I wanted to know what was so important. She says hey and I ask her if there is anything wrong and she says no she just wanted to talk to me. She asked me if I had gotten the job (I called her a few nights ago to ask for a reference, the job is a few states away) She goes on to start talking about little things and tells me she saw me leaving a club with her hat on (again) and asked why I never did things like that when I was with her. I was annoyed so I was like what do you mean, I never knew about the place and why do you even want to know, is that why you called? She is like no. She talked about the hat and said I could keep it and I told her I liked it and I would have probably kept it either way lol. She asked me if I had anything to say and I was like no, and asked her if she had anything to say, she said no. (By then I was really mad and confused about why the hell she called). So I was like it doesn't even feel right talking to you and she is like why and I tell her what I have told her before that I can't be friends with her and she is like fine, I understand and she is like well I'll delete you from my phonebook and I say ok. So we get off the phone. I think she is mad so I call her back and ask and she says she isn't and she said that is exactly why she called before to make sure I wasn't mad at her. She said we went out for to long and she couldn't stand if someone is mad at her (before she called today why would she think I was mad). I told her i wasn't, and I say she sounds tired and she says she fell asleep in the library earlier. So then I was like I got to go and she says ok, and so we get off. So now I am totally confused and I don't know what to do or think. We broke a little over a month ago and I have been on no contact pretty much the whole time except a couple times. Is it time to give in and become friends with her? I mean if things were to ever work then we would have to start somewhere. Shew I'm just so messed up right now, someone please help with some advice. She is playing game with u man,or just want to string u along as friend. which never work out anyway....
BlankSpace Posted March 20, 2005 Posted March 20, 2005 She is playing game with u man,or just want to string u along as friend. which never work out anyway.... And Lucrezia just said, you can't be friends with someone if you have romantic feelings for her. In time, maybe... Hang in there man. I'm just about losing my grip here too.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted March 20, 2005 Posted March 20, 2005 This is pretty normal (well, not normal really, but typical). I have an ex from well over a year ago (no, not the recent one I posted about before), who still contacts me from time to time. She dumped me for someone else and is still with him, but isn't really happy in that relationship, says she wishes she had not left me, etc. She is always asking me to help her out with little things or give her my opinion on something, just as an excuse to talk with me, and even went so far as to ask me if I would be interested in a hook-up (without her leaving the other guy and behind his back, of course - he has become very intertwined in her life, long story, and I am 100% sure she was serious). I said no, since I can't let that happen, and it just wouldn't be right (even though I will admit that the evil part of me considered doing it just to get the other guy for flying in under the radar as a "friend", and stealing her away from me, but that's juvenile, and I'm over it now, so I didn't. Besides, I thought about it, and the world has a way of working out on its own, without me doing underhanded things to help. He got what he deserved, a SO who is willing to cheat on him. ). When she calls though, I still talk with her, as a friend - kinda. It took me too long to get over her, and I can't go there again - the hook-up just isn't worth it, even though I could honestly use it right now. I know, it's weird, isn't it, how they keep calling like that - expressing just barely enough interest without really saying anything, and laying on the sexual tension thick, while making clear the relationship is still over. Yep, like someone else said, mind games I tell ya. You are probably in store for more of this from her.
Author acidrein_08 Posted March 22, 2005 Author Posted March 22, 2005 Hey it's all good, I haven't let her get to many at all since our break up which I believe was about a month and a half ago or maybe two months. But I don't know I just had an awesome spring break with friends and time has been flying by, i'm talking to a bunch of girls and have visited the club like every Saturday and that has been fun. I have been really talking to one girl a lot and I might give it a shot and plunge into a relationship just becuase this girl is so into me. As for my ex, as you all have noticed I am very strong when I don't talk to her but I get confused when we do so I have decided that I just won't talk to her at all becuase it really doesn't matter to me what she is doin. But life has been great and single is great, all of you LoveShackers with broken hearts will one day realize this, for me it took a week after our break up, some of you it could be a few months but the sooner u let go the sooner u will be moving on and enjoyin your life again. Thanks for all the posts, I will not let her play those games. Stay cool u all, God Bless.
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