quidproquo89 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I really don't think I have a choice, and many other men don't have a choice. There's a boatload of guys who no women are attracted to off the bat. No women find them hot, not even less attractive women. There's quite a few. No woman has ever found me attractive off the bat. So, the answer is yes obviously. I do understand why you and the others think you do. that is quite a depressing thought. Are there any people that are so unlucky that no one finds them physically attractive?
quidproquo89 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I never said I have to be the hottest guy that she's ever dated, I just need to be physically attractive to her on some level. I just can't date someone who says I'm not her usual type. There are women who find me physically attractive initially at some level and there are not. But there have been times where the ones that don't find me physically attractive initially would still give me a chance. But why take that chance if I know I'd have to jump through hoops to succeed with her where some guy that is her type that is nice could have her falling for him the first date. That is literally how online dating works too. I don't have a type, myself. What is this type. I like tall or short. Slim or a few extra pounds. Blonde or brunette. It is funny though how the brain creates attraction for some and not others
Author ECGuy Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 I don't have a type, myself. What is this type. I like tall or short. Slim or a few extra pounds. Blonde or brunette. It is funny though how the brain creates attraction for some and not others I think aside from weight, most guys don't have a type. All the woman has to be is slightly above average to them and we're willing to date them. I think we're simple like that. 1
KatZee Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 But I've had female friends tell me they find this guy cute but they're not attracted to them and not their type. They're not lying to me or sugar-coating anything so that scenario doesn't make sense to me. To most guys, if a girl is cute, hot, kinda cute, we're attracted to her. If you find someone cute, you're physically attracted to them. It's a whole other story regarding someone not being their "type." You can be attracted to someone based on looks alone, but know that as a couple it would never work out.
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 that is quite a depressing thought. Are there any people that are so unlucky that no one finds them physically attractive? Oh god, there's tons man. Lots post here. I mean there's lots of people here who don't believe me, but if you go to the end of the spectrum, I can say with 100% certainty that nobody is attracted to this guy. http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/11/19/article-2509678-197F293C00000578-5_634x538.jpg I mean there's nothing wrong with me physically. Women just aren't physically attracted to me. You'd be surprised how many guys fall into that boat. I mean, some women too. It's just one of those things that is. You get used to it. Might take many years of whining though. Lol. It's good that you felt a tad of concern though. Shows you have a good heart.
Author ECGuy Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 If you find someone cute, you're physically attracted to them. It's a whole other story regarding someone not being their "type." You can be attracted to someone based on looks alone, but know that as a couple it would never work out. Actually they've told me that the guy is cute but he looks way too young, they're not into guys with babyfaces so on looks alone they would NOT date him. It was a completely look-related reason why they would not date them but still think he's cute.
Author ECGuy Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 Oh god, there's tons man. Lots post here. I mean there's lots of people here who don't believe me, but if you go to the end of the spectrum, I can say with 100% certainty that nobody is attracted to this guy. http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/11/19/article-2509678-197F293C00000578-5_634x538.jpg I mean there's nothing wrong with me physically. Women just aren't physically attracted to me. You'd be surprised how many guys fall into that boat. I mean, some women too. It's just one of those things that is. You get used to it. Might take many years of whining though. Lol. It's good that you felt a tad of concern though. Shows you have a good heart. I think there are women that are physically attracted to you but they're probably not your "type"
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I think there are women that are physically attracted to you but they're probably not your "type" Nah. I would acknowledge that, no matter how unattractive the woman. What kind of argument is "Only ugly people find me attractive, so nobody finds me attractive." ? Honestly, there's lots. Janet Reno (I hope you're not reading Janet). Probably no men have ever found her physically attractive, but she's perfectly normal looking.. If she was cool, would I date her? Yea, I think so. But the fact remains. I have found that people who get attraction deny that others don't. Maybe you feel guilty? Lol.
Author ECGuy Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 Nah. I would acknowledge that, no matter how unattractive the woman. What kind of argument is "Only ugly people find me attractive, so nobody finds me attractive." ? Honestly, there's lots. Janet Reno (I hope you're not reading Janet). Probably no men have ever found her physically attractive, but she's perfectly normal looking.. If she was cool, would I date her? Yea, I think so. But the fact remains. I have found that people who get attraction deny that others don't. Maybe you feel guilty? Lol. Nah that's not what I'm saying. I would make this statement to women who would complain that guys don't like them on online dating sites but I see that they have a full inbox of messages...just not messages from guys they want because they don't think the guys are good looking enough for them. They're just really insanely picky.
quidproquo89 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Oh god, there's tons man. Lots post here. I mean there's lots of people here who don't believe me, but if you go to the end of the spectrum, I can say with 100% certainty that nobody is attracted to this guy. http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/11/19/article-2509678-197F293C00000578-5_634x538.jpg I mean there's nothing wrong with me physically. Women just aren't physically attracted to me. You'd be surprised how many guys fall into that boat. I mean, some women too. It's just one of those things that is. You get used to it. Might take many years of whining though. Lol. It's good that you felt a tad of concern though. Shows you have a good heart. good heart. but also I've been the down trodden unconfident shy guy where people just look over you. It wasnt how I looked as a kid it was the way I presented myself. I always respect where I have come from as it gives me drive to where I am going. I truly feel sorry for people unlucky enough to not be attractive. I guess you can always improve ones physique and wear nice clothes, style your hair etc. But these are superficial things anyway. Feel bad for the guy in your link .
quidproquo89 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Oh god, there's tons man. Lots post here. I mean there's lots of people here who don't believe me, but if you go to the end of the spectrum, I can say with 100% certainty that nobody is attracted to this guy. http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/11/19/article-2509678-197F293C00000578-5_634x538.jpg I mean there's nothing wrong with me physically. Women just aren't physically attracted to me. You'd be surprised how many guys fall into that boat. I mean, some women too. It's just one of those things that is. You get used to it. Might take many years of whining though. Lol. It's good that you felt a tad of concern though. Shows you have a good heart. there is an interesting point that there are different depths of attractiveness. You know those barbie doll looking women who are all about make up and superficial things. I know they are good looking but I immediately see how shallow they are and find them ugly straight awya. I like girl next door types. Naturally looking and not in a cheap way. Like they have nice eyes without make up and a smile is nice whether or not its covered in lipstick. I think a lot can be said to demanour. I would like to think I would be attractive to women not because of how I look but rather the laid back, chatty, humourous guy I am who will try to get to know anybody whose a half decent person
carhill Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Would you date someone who did not find you physically attractive but was attracted through your personality? Or someone who didn't think you were her physical type but she will give you a chance to win her over with your personality. No and no. Waste of my time.
xxoo Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 But but by that logic, should I date a woman who thinks I'm cute but not hot? I'm usually okay with that. A woman thinks I'm physically attractive but doesn't have that urge to rip my clothes off. Would you? Why would you go out on a date with a woman who isn't attracted to you? That seems to be a creation of OLD, where the picture comes first and everything else comes later. IRL, you meet someone you get to know them, and either sparks fly or they don't. If sparks fly, dating happens. Would it really matter that they didn't want to rip your clothes off immediately upon meeting? 1
potsticker Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) I think aside from weight, most guys don't have a type. All the woman has to be is slightly above average to them and we're willing to date them. I think we're simple like that. I can't say that there's a certain "type" for me, but with some girls, there seem to be an immediate connection or interest of some sort that I feel upon a few interactions that makes me disregard their general attractiveness or lack thereof. It's only these "types" that I go for. That said, if someone I didn't have these reactions to wanted to date me and I were available, I'd at least give it a go for a few to see if anything develops. Thus far though, nothing has ever developed from these situations. on the actual OP, I feel that there's a general attractiveness and a personal, and while society might determine what general attractiveness is, a personal attraction may completely differ from it. This attraction isn't simply from features, but rather from interactions, and sometimes is very animalistic. Thus if I were to reinterpret the OP, I'd say I wouldn't be satisfied if my hypothetical gf didn't find me attractive at first and only stayed for "personality", because that would indicate a disconnect of "interests". Even if my general attractiveness didn't match hers or vice versa, as long as personal attractiveness matches, I wouldn't have an issue. However, if she dated me on the principle of liking my personality, that's the same thing as "oh I like you as a friend but let's see how far this'll go" to me. For some, as long as this results in a life-long partnership, this may suffice. For me, I'd rather be alone than be with someone who's essentially "just a friend" but "hoping for more". Edited October 19, 2014 by potsticker
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) Feel bad for the guy in your link . Feel bad for him too. Life is a mad scientist. It creates guys with disfigurements like that. And it creates beautiful people who have everything and then snuffs them when they get killed by cancer or hit by a bus. That's why it pisses me off a little bit when people say things like "Never settle for someone you are not physically attracted to and totally passionate about." Or it used to more. Some people will never get that kind of interest. Everybody's situation is different. You can use that for your own love life, but don't spread it like it's the rule. Edited October 19, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember
quidproquo89 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Feel bad for him too. Life is a mad scientist. It creates guys with disfigurements like that. And it creates beautiful people who have everything and then snuffs them when they get killed by cancer or hit by a bus. That's why it pisses me off a little bit when people say things like "Never settle for someone you are not physically attracted to and totally passionate about." Or it used to more. Some people will never get that kind of interest. Everybody's situation is different. You can use that for your own love life, but don't spread it like it's the rule. I get you man, I have had an awful track record with women because of my own shyness and insecurities. I know its different, but the same result. I'm sure there are people that find you attractive . I really hope reincarnation exists - coz we are coming back as Brad Pitt, bitch ha ha
Author ECGuy Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) Why would you go out on a date with a woman who isn't attracted to you? That seems to be a creation of OLD, where the picture comes first and everything else comes later. IRL, you meet someone you get to know them, and either sparks fly or they don't. If sparks fly, dating happens. Would it really matter that they didn't want to rip your clothes off immediately upon meeting? Well in my past experience when women find me "cute" they're still physically attracted to me, but the "rip clothes off" was usually created through personality. Don't get me wrong, it was easy for me to achieve that, but I've only met a small handful of women who thought I was "gorgeous". If I wanted to only meet women who would find me "gorgeous" it will take years before I find a date. I'm perfectly fine with a woman still finding me attractive but not as high a level as that. You think that's settling? Edited October 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix quote
xxoo Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Well in my past experience when women find me "cute" they're still physically attracted to me, but the "rip clothes off" was usually created through personality. Don't get me wrong, it was easy for me to achieve that, but I've only met a small handful of women who thought I was "gorgeous". If I wanted to only meet women who would find me "gorgeous" it will take years before I find a date. I'm perfectly fine with a woman still finding me attractive but not as high a level as that. You think that's settling? I don't think finding a man "gorgeous" is necessarily a higher level than finding him incredibly sexy by virtue of personality. In fact, for me, the personality has greater potential to drive me crazy with lust. So no, I don't think that's settling at all. As long as the desire is strong, who cares what the source of desire is?
potsticker Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Well in my past experience when women find me "cute" they're still physically attracted to me, but the "rip clothes off" was usually created through personality. Don't get me wrong, it was easy for me to achieve that, but I've only met a small handful of women who thought I was "gorgeous". If I wanted to only meet women who would find me "gorgeous" it will take years before I find a date. I'm perfectly fine with a woman still finding me attractive but not as high a level as that. You think that's settling? There's nothing wrong with cute. That's not them settling. Hell, I pursue girls I consider cute much more often than I do girls that are gorgeous and it's not because "they're out of my league".
Author ECGuy Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 I don't think finding a man "gorgeous" is necessarily a higher level than finding him incredibly sexy by virtue of personality. In fact, for me, the personality has greater potential to drive me crazy with lust. So no, I don't think that's settling at all. As long as the desire is strong, who cares what the source of desire is? In the end I just want someone to find me physically attractive and her type or somewhat her type, I don't need for her to think I'm hot; in my past experiences just from a woman finding me physically attractive on any level, I'm confident enough that I can get her "hooked" with my personality cause there's at least some level of attraction there that would make my life a lot easier than someone who was just "average" to her and gave him a chance just because of his personality. I just can't date someone who completely ZERO attraction for me, not her type at all and I'd have to put in SO much work just to win her over. It's all about the amount of work I guess and I feel I shouldn't jump through hoops for anybody just because my personality is the only way to get her to be attracted to me.
Author ECGuy Posted October 19, 2014 Author Posted October 19, 2014 There's nothing wrong with cute. That's not them settling. Hell, I pursue girls I consider cute much more often than I do girls that are gorgeous and it's not because "they're out of my league". I'm fine with anyone above average even if it's slightly above. I'm not picky and I believe that's how most men are; I could be wrong.
xxoo Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 It's all about the amount of work I guess and I feel I shouldn't jump through hoops for anybody just because my personality is the only way to get her to be attracted to me. I don't think you get what I mean by a sexy personality. It isn't jumping through hoops and it isn't work. Some of us women just are super turned on by a "type" of personality, and if the guy has it, that's as golden or more than a "type" of looks. It may be hard for you to understand because your attraction doesn't work that way, but it would be silly to feel that a woman is settling if HER attraction works that way. Lust is lust, whatever the source.
potsticker Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I'm fine with anyone above average even if it's slightly above. I'm not picky and I believe that's how most men are; I could be wrong. that's not exactly what I was getting at lol. I mean it should be fine if she's interested in dating you because you're cute and that you don't have to be "gorgeous" to her. That's ridiculous
Emilia Posted October 20, 2014 Posted October 20, 2014 I never said I have to be the hottest guy that she's ever dated, I just need to be physically attractive to her on some level. I just can't date someone who says I'm not her usual type. I don't know how old you are but people's 'usual type' evolves all the time. It simply comes down to experience. I'm 42. My 'usual type' was boyish white guys until I hit my early 30s. I went travelling, saw the world, met thousands of people. I have not dated a white man for the last 5-6 years. That's because I was exposed to new experiences and different kinds of people, my horizons widened. Life is about learning and evolving. It's not about staying in your comfort zone with your 'usual type'.
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