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Guys, how do you feel about a girl making the first move?

JennyGreen

By JennyGreen
in General Relationship Discussion

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Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted
Not that I'm aware of :confused:

 

Expecting the guy that asked them out to do all the planning that is....

 

Ironically that you said this

 

The guys who asked me out took over majority of things like planning dates, making decisions, etc.

 

This tells me that since you asked the guys out, then you should be the one that does the planning.

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted
Expecting the guy that asked them out to do all the planning that is....

 

Ironically that you said this

 

 

 

This tells me that since you asked the guys out, then you should be the one that does the planning.

 

Huh?

 

I think we're on different pages here bud.

 

Were you insinuating that women want to make the decisions all the time, regardless of whether or not we were asked or did the asking?

If so, that's not the case. Not for me anyway.

 

I wasn't saying who should and shouldn't do anything, I was stating what my experience has taught me.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted
It makes me suspicious. I'm 26 years old and I've never kissed a girl and there's likely a reason for it. Now, I may not be an Einstein, but I'm smart enough to know that if a girl were to approach me and "make the first move", something fishy is going on.

 

Really?

 

How so?

 

Did you ever consider that she was "schooled" by all this "equality" poop that women can also be assertive like men?

 

Did you ever consider she may have thought you showed signs of interest - so, she stepped up to the plate cuz she possibly didn't reciprocate in a way to show interest?

 

Did you also, possibly, consider that she might figure you're shy and have doubts about her (i.e. your "fishy" contention) and feels that, by her being forward she is trying to dispel any concerns of "fishiness" you may have?

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted
Huh?

 

I think we're on different pages here bud.

 

Were you insinuating that women want to make the decisions all the time, regardless of whether or not we were asked or did the asking?

If so, that's not the case. Not for me anyway.

 

I wasn't saying who should and shouldn't do anything, I was stating what my experience has taught me.

 

 

Bold 1: Nope, far from it and can't see why you will be thinking that. My response was based on what you posted about people that have asked you out.

 

Bold 2: But you mentioned that the guy you asked out, didn't even bother putting forward suggestions for a date.

 

This is what led me to say when a guy/man asks a woman out, most automatically expect the male to come up with the activity.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted
Look, I'm 26, not 16. I've been around women for a while now. I have on only one occasion had the impression that a girl was into me. And it turned out I was mistaken with that impression.

 

So, given this, I am quite skeptical of any indication of a woman's interest, including if she were to "make the first move". Usually, she's just being friendly and it's being misinterpreted as romantic interest, or she has an ulterior motive.

 

I think Darren2013 has found a buddy!!!

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted
Bold 1: Nope, far from it and can't see why you will be thinking that. My response was based on what you posted about people that have asked you out.

 

Bold 2: But you mentioned that the guy you asked out, didn't even bother putting forward suggestions for a date.

 

This is what led me to say when a guy/man asks a woman out, most automatically expect the male to come up with the activity.

 

The way your first post was worded, and the selection of text you quoted, made me think that.

Obviously I misunderstood.

Ducky71 Established Member

Ducky71

Posted
Posted
Experience has told me it's sort of dependent on the kind of man you want.

Guys who have approached me have always been the stronger more confident type, whereas the ones I have approached usually turned out to be a little shier. It set the precedent for the rest of our interactions.

 

The guys I asked out left most things to me. To decide where to go every time, or what to do, or where to eat, what time, etc. It was like I asked them first, so they thought I wanted to make all decisions, or they just didn't want to make them themselves.

 

The guys who asked me out took over majority of things like planning dates, making decisions, etc.

 

If it's someone you've known for a long time, however, it's murky murky water. If you're not getting anywhere with your hints then say something to him. Otherwise he may well be completely oblivious, as men sometimes are.

 

 

QFT in bold...

 

 

This is interesting to me...

 

 

I never thought of it like this before. I'm what you would call the 'old fashioned' type, but I would LOVE IT if a woman asked me out...(mostly because I'm freakin' clueless to whether or not someone is into me or not...as are most of us dumb guys) and of course, depending how she went about it.

 

 

That being said, who initiates contact is of no consequence going forward when it comes to who is making the decisions. Personally, it can be a bit tiring being the one who makes all the choices. I like an assertive, independent woman...but that's just me. ;)

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted
I like an assertive, independent woman...but that's just me.

 

So do some of us...however, there aren't that many unicorns to go round. I am still looking for mine, and hopefully I'll get lucky soonest.

  • Like 1
Jules Dash Established Member

Jules Dash

Posted
Posted

A woman who makes the first move is a turn on to me.

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted
QFT in bold...

 

 

This is interesting to me...

 

 

I never thought of it like this before. I'm what you would call the 'old fashioned' type, but I would LOVE IT if a woman asked me out...(mostly because I'm freakin' clueless to whether or not someone is into me or not...as are most of us dumb guys) and of course, depending how she went about it.

 

 

That being said, who initiates contact is of no consequence going forward when it comes to who is making the decisions. Personally, it can be a bit tiring being the one who makes all the choices. I like an assertive, independent woman...but that's just me. ;)

 

I don't think it's just a male thing.. we can all be a little clueless at times. People can take us by surprise, and it's often a good thing.

 

I don't think there should be any hard and fast rules about which sex should do the initiating. Gender equality in dating is stronger than ever in my opinion, and we should all take advantage of that.

Some men will like it, some won't, but chances are if you're a woman who's willing to ask a man out, you don't want one who would say no just because he didn't do the asking.

 

If Loveshack has taught me one thing it's that many men are far more insecure than women think they are.

  • Like 1
Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted
if you're a woman who's willing to ask a man out, you don't want one who would say no just because he didn't do the asking.

 

Is this because the woman thinks she is better than the man, and that for some weird reason it's his duty to ask? If this isn't inequality of the sexes, then I don't what else is.

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted
Is this because the woman thinks she is better than the man, and that for some weird reason it's his duty to ask? If this isn't inequality of the sexes, then I don't what else is.

 

Not at all.

It's because if a woman asks out a man she's likely quite confident and assertive. If a man were to reject her because she'd asked him out, he's obviously not into the part of her that prompted her to ask him in the first place, and therefore unlikely to be compatible in the long run.

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted (edited)
he's obviously not into the part of her that prompted her to ask him in the first place
Really...what makes you think it's that "part", that might have led to the rejection? It could have been her voice, dress style, looks, decorum at the time i.e. she was drunk and acting like trash, etc

 

Lets not fool ourselves, I get some unwanted attention and it isn't because of that part of the "assertiveness" of the woman that hit on me. Some of the reasons why I have rejected some women include:

 

1. Their known history

2. jobless

3. more than one kid, and sole custody.

4. pets (cats and dogs)

5. not in shape i.e. not active

6. psychological issues

Edited by Tayken
Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted
Really...what makes you think it's that "part", that might have led to the rejection? It could have been her voice, dress style, looks, decorum at the time i.e. she was drunk and acting like trash, etc

 

I said:

Some men will like it, some won't, but chances are if you're a woman who's willing to ask a man out, you don't want one who would say no just because he didn't do the asking.

Meaning: if that was the reason he said no, then she likely wouldn't want to be with him anyway.

In any case, if someone rejects you, it's best to just move on anyway and not over-analyse why it happened. If someone doesn't like you then that's their prerogative, just as it is yours to move forward.

 

Edit: You edited your post while I was replying, but my points still stand.

I have no idea why you're nitpicking my posts, but I'm done.

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted
If someone doesn't like you then that's their prerogative, just as it is yours to move forward.

 

This is something you and I can both agree on. It should not be taken personally. There are many fishes left in the ocean....on to the next one.

  • Like 1
Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted

Yes...a woman hits on me, and I find out she is the crazy cat lady or has dogs. I am not about to live my life in a stinky house/car, have my schedule based around pets, and have to deal with all the other nonsense that goes along with owning pets.

 

They don't fit into my lifestyle.

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