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Guys, how do you feel about a girl making the first move?

JennyGreen

By JennyGreen
in General Relationship Discussion

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JennyGreen Member

JennyGreen

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Is it too forward? I'm very old fashioned and not to mention extremely shy. But I really like him a lot.

rdet123 Established Member

rdet123

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I'm not a guy, but from my experience every time i've told a guy blatently that I like him, he never had reciprocating feelings. I would suggest dropping hints to him that you like him instead of telling him to his face. Smile at him, be playful, touch his arm, etc. Whenever I act like this around a guy I like normally they get the hint. Just my two cents! Good luck!

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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Some guys don't like it, some guys do like it, some don't care either way.

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fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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It makes me suspicious. I'm 26 years old and I've never kissed a girl and there's likely a reason for it. Now, I may not be an Einstein, but I'm smart enough to know that if a girl were to approach me and "make the first move", something fishy is going on.

IronZ Established Member

IronZ

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I wish more girls made the first move. Some can be hard to read sometimes and making the first move is always a shot in the dark. Guys feel pretty vulnerable most of the time doing it especially if we don't know how the girl will respond. Go ahead and make the move.

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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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Is it too forward? I'm very old fashioned and not to mention extremely shy. But I really like him a lot.

 

I would feel like I'm dreaming ... and then I would wake up. :laugh:

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JennyGreen Member

JennyGreen

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I would feel like I'm dreaming ... and then I would wake up. :laugh:

 

Lol awww.. I bet you're a cutie. ;)

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JennyGreen Member

JennyGreen

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It makes me suspicious. I'm 26 years old and I've never kissed a girl and there's likely a reason for it. Now, I may not be an Einstein, but I'm smart enough to know that if a girl were to approach me and "make the first move", something fishy is going on.

 

"Fishy" like what? I don't understand what you mean. Nothing fishy here. I like him, I want more than just his friendship. You make me feel like I'm trying to abduct him..that's why I don't ask guys out :laugh:

SawtoothMars Established Member

SawtoothMars

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It makes me suspicious. I'm 26 years old and I've never kissed a girl and there's likely a reason for it. Now, I may not be an Einstein, but I'm smart enough to know that if a girl were to approach me and "make the first move", something fishy is going on.

 

Are you serious? You seem like such a cool guy. Is it because you spend so much time here?

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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Are you serious? You seem like such a cool guy. Is it because you spend so much time here?

 

I don't actually spend that much time here. Maybe 4 posts a day. Sometimes less. Usually read the forum while eating breakfast before work and right before going to sleep at night.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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"Fishy" like what? I don't understand what you mean. Nothing fishy here. I like him, I want more than just his friendship. You make me feel like I'm trying to abduct him..that's why I don't ask guys out :laugh:

 

I mean I would assume that there's an ulterior motive. Maybe you need me to move furniture for you. Or maybe you just like getting attention and I'm an easy target for you to get that attention from. Something.

 

It just would seem too good to be true. Like winning a free vacation from one of those cruise lines. You know there's more than meets the eye.

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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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"Fishy" like what? I don't understand what you mean. Nothing fishy here. I like him, I want more than just his friendship. You make me feel like I'm trying to abduct him..that's why I don't ask guys out :laugh:

 

Hot guys are used to it.

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JennyGreen Member

JennyGreen

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I mean I would assume that there's an ulterior motive. Maybe you need me to move furniture for you. Or maybe you just like getting attention and I'm an easy target for you to get that attention from. Something.

 

It just would seem too good to be true. Like winning a free vacation from one of those cruise lines. You know there's more than meets the eye.

 

Omg! You need to lighten up. I thought my confidence was low. Why would it be so hard to believe that a girl was asking you out? I'm sure there have been planty of girls who found you attractive or interesting but I think you may have shut them out. You seem hard to approach. No one wants a self loathing guy. Stop bashing yourself and try talking to a girl. I bet things will change. Oh and another thing. You have the wrong concept of woman. We don't need you to move out furniture, and we don't just always want attention. Not trying to sound mean, I promise. But please, don't let this bad stereo type of woman ruin your whole concept. Give is a chance. Sonetimes we're nice ;)

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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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Omg! You need to lighten up. I thought my confidence was low. Why would it be so hard to believe that a girl was asking you out? I'm sure there have been planty of girls who found you attractive or interesting but I think you may have shut them out. You seem hard to approach.

 

You're not realizing it has nothing to do with self-esteem. :confused:

 

Some guys just don't get asked out. It's kind of how it works.

 

It's OK. Those of us who are smart realize we have to take action.

 

There's a few women who don't get asked out too. Not many, but still.

 

In answer to your question, I would LOVE if a woman took initiative. But I won't hold my breath.

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LostOnes05 Established Member

LostOnes05

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I wouldn't mind in the least if a woman asked me out. Has never happened to me though. I'd take it as a compliment and with an understanding that she must be really interested in getting to know me.

ffw Established Member

ffw

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Is it too forward? I'm very old fashioned and not to mention extremely shy. But I really like him a lot.

 

Personally, I love it to see a lady honest about her feelings. To be honest, it doesn't who makes the first move what more important is the compatibility. Go with the flow and see how it goes. GL.

Anderlie Established Member

Anderlie

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I did it once with a guy I was keen on. He made the next big move by marrying me. :)

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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I'm fine if she approaches me.

 

Once you get beyond 30 it's much harder to meet people....especially random meetings.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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Omg! You need to lighten up. I thought my confidence was low. Why would it be so hard to believe that a girl was asking you out? I'm sure there have been planty of girls who found you attractive or interesting but I think you may have shut them out. You seem hard to approach. No one wants a self loathing guy. Stop bashing yourself and try talking to a girl. I bet things will change. Oh and another thing. You have the wrong concept of woman. We don't need you to move out furniture, and we don't just always want attention. Not trying to sound mean, I promise. But please, don't let this bad stereo type of woman ruin your whole concept. Give is a chance. Sonetimes we're nice ;)

 

Look, I'm 26, not 16. I've been around women for a while now. I have on only one occasion had the impression that a girl was into me. And it turned out I was mistaken with that impression.

 

So, given this, I am quite skeptical of any indication of a woman's interest, including if she were to "make the first move". Usually, she's just being friendly and it's being misinterpreted as romantic interest, or she has an ulterior motive.

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acrosstheuniverse Established Member

acrosstheuniverse

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I've made the first move before. I do still watch out for their interest back in me though, so I wouldn't particularly chat a guy up, ask him out on a date, and repeat. I generally make my interest clear by starting off a conversation, maybe flirting, and then casually suggesting we grab a drink sometime. If a guy is interested in me he'll bite and take it from there.

 

I have no problems sending the first message on online dating and when I was younger I didn't mind going up to a guy in a bar to strike up a conversation, it's a bit different now mid twenties though as people are generally more likely to be coupled up and so it feels a bit more awkward. I'm more at ease starting a conversation with somebody in some other location like a museum or the supermarket or coffee shop. It's a good skill to have whether it's to start something with a potential interest or just to brighten someone's day of the same gender who you're not interested in.

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  • 2 weeks later...
hunter11 Member

hunter11

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I am a girl and have never asked a man out before...I am 56 and I thought this guy was so cute...so I am with my girlfriends and I see him. I just went up to him and started talking and we dated for 6mos...he broke up with me a month ago...but...we had a great time and I know it helped him with his self esteem..he is very shy but was a wonderful guy... So it worked with me...I don't know if I would do it again...

candie13 Established Member

candie13

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don't.

 

Smile, be nice, but do NOT make that move. You'll thank me later ;)

 

been that road a couple of times - curiosity is a b*tch, btw. Nothing pretty, loads of learnings. Irrelevant od how young you are, you ain't got no time to waste. Trust me :D !

 

Stay put, be patient... and flirt with loads of other guys. It'll make it all feel better.

 

If you want to know why, just ask me ;). if you ain't got no time to waste, just trust me: men Looooooove to make that first move.

 

real women know how to cultivate their patience

Lani Established Member

Lani

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Experience has told me it's sort of dependent on the kind of man you want.

Guys who have approached me have always been the stronger more confident type, whereas the ones I have approached usually turned out to be a little shier. It set the precedent for the rest of our interactions.

 

The guys I asked out left most things to me. To decide where to go every time, or what to do, or where to eat, what time, etc. It was like I asked them first, so they thought I wanted to make all decisions, or they just didn't want to make them themselves.

 

The guys who asked me out took over majority of things like planning dates, making decisions, etc.

 

If it's someone you've known for a long time, however, it's murky murky water. If you're not getting anywhere with your hints then say something to him. Otherwise he may well be completely oblivious, as men sometimes are.

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Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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It was like I asked them first, so they thought I wanted to make all decisions, or they just didn't want to make them themselves.

 

To be fair though, isn't this how most girls/women roll when you ask them out?

Lani Established Member

Lani

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To be fair though, isn't this how most girls/women roll when you ask them out?

 

Not that I'm aware of :confused:

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