Tik Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 I know her previously from uni. It's been a few weeks of too'ing and fro'ing. She was blowing up my phone for a bit, asked me out but I declined. Then she went distant and I realised how much I'd fallen for her (I didn't think she was my type) and how crazy I am about her. So I manned up and asked her out and we've got a date in a few days. So now the conundrum is that she is a good few inches taller than me. To date, we've not thought about it well as I've always had sneakers on while she wore flats to university so we even each other out. But date night will be different with us wearing what ever. I'm a pretty confident guy. Nothing gets to me and nothing will on date night but I was wondering if anyone has any tips to make things less awkward? Anyone in my situation and how they've gone about things? Cheers guys!
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 There isn't really anything you can do to make it 'less awkward', either you're both comfortable with her being taller than you or you aren't. I'm 5ft 9 and when I'm on a date with a guy smaller than me, or one whose height is unknown as of yet, I do wear flats. I find it a turn off having to bend down to kiss a guy, make of that what you will. I'm aware it's 'shallow' but I also can't help that it's my gut preference, and I've dated a few guys who've been shorter but it's usually when I've already fallen for their personalities so that height then just doesn't matter as much to me. She's well aware of your height differences already, either she'll wear flat shoes because she doesn't want to make the difference any greater, or she doesn't care and she'll wear heels. It's great that you're comfortable and confident in yourself, that's far sexier than height for most women and she's clearly already into you, or she wouldn't be going out with you. Have fun! 1
CharlieFox Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 I find it a turn off having to bend down to kiss a guy, make of that what you will. I'm aware it's 'shallow' but I also can't help that it's my gut preference, and I've dated a few guys who've been shorter but it's usually when I've already fallen for their personalities so that height then just doesn't matter as much to me. It's pretty normal to be a turn off and it's not shallow, when I pictured it I actually laughed.
IronZ Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Have her wear flats and you wear Timberlands or other type of shoes that add a few inches of height.
Snowman219 Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I know her previously from uni. It's been a few weeks of too'ing and fro'ing. She was blowing up my phone for a bit, asked me out but I declined. Then she went distant and I realised how much I'd fallen for her (I didn't think she was my type) and how crazy I am about her. So I manned up and asked her out and we've got a date in a few days. So now the conundrum is that she is a good few inches taller than me. To date, we've not thought about it well as I've always had sneakers on while she wore flats to university so we even each other out. But date night will be different with us wearing what ever. I'm a pretty confident guy. Nothing gets to me and nothing will on date night but I was wondering if anyone has any tips to make things less awkward? Anyone in my situation and how they've gone about things? Cheers guys! What the hell are you worried about? From what I've heard, nothing beats a pair of tits at eye level. Must be nice...
Phoe Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Rule #1 Stop thinking about the height. Don't dwell on it, and don't project it onto her. Do NOT make any suggestions to what kind of shoes she should wear (ironZ that is ridiculous to "make her" wear flats). 2 of my 4 boyfriends were shorter than me. I'm 5'8. It was never an issue, because they never made it an issue. 2
mortensorchid Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I'm 5'10", most people are shorter than me. My height has never been an issue for me, but it seems to be with others. My mom (whose neuroses I will not get into here because it would take too long) told me never to be with a man who is/was shorter than me because it looks wrong to have a tall woman with a shorter man. True? I've seen plenty of tall guys with shorter girls (as in MUCH shorter), in some cases it looked like the man would have to bend full at the waist just to kiss the girl. But I have dated a few guys who are shorter than me in the past here and there. Honestly there is nothing you can or can't do about it because neither of your heights are going to change. Honestly, I think we are thinking about certain aspects of biology when we consider height. Does a person's height make them "better"? Evolution shows that people who lived in the ancient world were much shorter than people are today. Good or better nutrition gives us length of bone, but then again the Chinese have historically been the best eaters in the world and they are far shorter than people in the West.
Cristo Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 It's pretty normal to be a turn off and it's not shallow, when I pictured it I actually laughed. Yes it's very shallow.
CrystalCastles Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Rule #1 Stop thinking about the height. Don't dwell on it, and don't project it onto her. Do NOT make any suggestions to what kind of shoes she should wear (ironZ that is ridiculous to "make her" wear flats). 2 of my 4 boyfriends were shorter than me. I'm 5'8. It was never an issue, because they never made it an issue. Agreed. I'm 5'11. All the guys I've ever dated, have been shorter than me. The tallest guy was 5'10 and the shortest was 5'5. My boyfriend is 5'5. Taller people aren't better than shorter people. A taller person isn't going to be a better, kinder and more generous lover than a shorter one. Nothing will be awkward unless you make it awkward. And by all means, please don't tell her what to wear and what not to wear. If she wants to wear heels, let her. It won't make you less "manly" or whatever. 1
SawtoothMars Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Agreed. I'm 5'11. All the guys I've ever dated, have been shorter than me. The tallest guy was 5'10 and the shortest was 5'5. My boyfriend is 5'5. Taller people aren't better than shorter people. A taller person isn't going to be a better, kinder and more generous lover than a shorter one. Nothing will be awkward unless you make it awkward. And by all means, please don't tell her what to wear and what not to wear. If she wants to wear heels, let her. It won't make you less "manly" or whatever. You have to be joking. Most women put an absolute insane premium on height. I've seen some women date shorter men, but they were very fat and ugly.... or the guy was rich as hell.
Phoe Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Agreed. I'm 5'11. All the guys I've ever dated, have been shorter than me. The tallest guy was 5'10 and the shortest was 5'5. My boyfriend is 5'5. 5'10 is the tallest I've dated, too! 5'6 was shortest. So a pretty similar range, just 4 inches between them all.
Phoe Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Most women put an absolute insane premium on height. If by "most women" you mean "some women". 4
CrystalCastles Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 You have to be joking. Most women put an absolute insane premium on height. I've seen some women date shorter men, but they were very fat and ugly.... or the guy was rich as hell. Most women? Where did you get these "facts"? And why am I joking? Are you suggesting I am fat and ugly? I assure you I am not. Every single guy I have ever dated said I was hot/beautiful/pretty/gorgeous, etc, etc. Every single guy without fail. My boyfriend is not only a stunner, but he's incredibly kind, a very generous lover, puts me first without fail, a very ambitious, intelligent and determined individual and just the most amazing man I have ever met. He is not rich, but I don't care. He's brilliant, working towards his Masters and getting scholarships while he's at it. Thank the Lord I am not a stupid, shallow fool of a woman to have thrown away such a rare and precious gem as my man based on something ridiculous and insignificant as height. 1
IronZ Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Rule #1 Stop thinking about the height. Don't dwell on it, and don't project it onto her. Do NOT make any suggestions to what kind of shoes she should wear (ironZ that is ridiculous to "make her" wear flats). 2 of my 4 boyfriends were shorter than me. I'm 5'8. It was never an issue, because they never made it an issue. I didn't use the word "make." The way you said it makes me sound so aggressive. Relax. I simply said "have her wear flats" because if it really is an issue for him, this is something she probably wouldn't mind doing. I dated a girl once that was way taller than me (and I'm pretty average height). She actually made an effort to wear flats when we went out and we both laughed it off.
SawtoothMars Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 If by "most women" you mean "some women". Only if by "some women" you mean 90% of the population with two x chromosomes.
CrystalCastles Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Only if by "some women" you mean 10% of the population with two x chromosomes. Fixed it for you.
SawtoothMars Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Most women? Where did you get these "facts"? And why am I joking? Are you suggesting I am fat and ugly? I assure you I am not. Every single guy I have ever dated said I was hot/beautiful/pretty/gorgeous, etc, etc. Every single guy without fail. My boyfriend is not only a stunner, but he's incredibly kind, a very generous lover, puts me first without fail, a very ambitious, intelligent and determined individual and just the most amazing man I have ever met. He is not rich, but I don't care. He's brilliant, working towards his Masters and getting scholarships while he's at it. Thank the Lord I am not a stupid, shallow fool of a woman to have thrown away such a rare and precious gem as my man based on something ridiculous and insignificant as height. Not really sure how to take this. You basically just told me that you ride a unicorn to work and fart rainbows.
Phoe Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Only if by "some women" you mean 90% of the population with two x chromosomes. I personally can't think of a single woman Im friends with whose worried about height. My best friends fiancee is 5'5, my best friend from colleges fiancee is 5'6, a good male friend of mine is 5'6 and his wife is taller than him, another good male friend is 5'6 and he has no shortage of women, sometimes 6 women at a time. 2 of my exes were 5'6, I dated briefly a man who was 5'5. One of my college friends' husband is 5'3. I don't know where you're getting your exaggerated numbers from. I see reasonable women all around me. 2
CrystalCastles Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 Not really sure how to take this. You basically just told me that you ride a unicorn to work and fart rainbows. What is there not to get? A woman doesn't have to have no options to date a man shorter than her. There is nothing wrong with shorter men. 2
SawtoothMars Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 I personally can't think of a single woman Im friends with whose worried about height. My best friends fiancee is 5'5, my best friend from colleges fiancee is 5'6, a good male friend of mine is 5'6 and his wife is taller than him, another good male friend is 5'6 and he has no shortage of women, sometimes 6 women at a time. 2 of my exes were 5'6, I dated briefly a man who was 5'5. One of my college friends' husband is 5'3. I don't know where you're getting your exaggerated numbers from. I see reasonable women all around me. If you seriously don't believe me... then take a quick stroll through OKCupid and sort the women by height... then read their requirements. The taller women almost ALL have height requirements. The fact that someone pretty like you doesn't is really shocking. I refuse to believe I've been out of the game so long that things have changed that much. My best friend is 5'6" and has always been attracted to taller women. He is a pilot... think Top Gun... and struggles more with dating than my unemployed pot head cousin who is 6'.
Phoe Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 What is there not to get? A woman doesn't have to have no options to date a man shorter than her. There is nothing wrong with shorter men. I'm definitely boggled. How does "I date shorter men happily" = mythical unicorn status.
Phoe Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 If you seriously don't believe me... then take a quick stroll through OKCupid and sort the women by height... then read their requirements. The taller women almost ALL have height requirements. The fact that someone pretty like you doesn't is really shocking. I refuse to believe I've been out of the game so long that things have changed that much. My best friend is 5'6" and has always been attracted to taller women. He is a pilot... think Top Gun... and struggles more with dating than my unemployed pot head cousin who is 6'. I'm not saying I don't believe you, I know there are women who have requirements, I'm just saying im not one, and I don't know of any in my social circle. It happens, yes, but not at a rate of 90%!
CrystalCastles Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 If you seriously don't believe me... then take a quick stroll through OKCupid and sort the women by height... then read their requirements. The taller women almost ALL have height requirements. The fact that someone pretty like you doesn't is really shocking. I refuse to believe I've been out of the game so long that things have changed that much. My best friend is 5'6" and has always been attracted to taller women. He is a pilot... think Top Gun... and struggles more with dating than my unemployed pot head cousin who is 6'. OKC =/= real life. Although when I was a member of it for a week a few years back, I conversed with many men who were shorter than me. I quit OKC not because of shorter men, but because I don't like that style of dating. Too artificial. You're basing your facts on one friend and OKC. Okay... I'm definitely boggled. How does "I date shorter men happily" = mythical unicorn status. Yep, me neither. I also don't get his statement of how the short men he's seen were dating fat and ugly women. I am not sure where this is coming from, because I'm not fat or ugly (actually I'm borderline underweight, and like I said, every guy I've ever dated complimented me on my looks), and I see tall women with short men in my city often, and the woman is neither fat nor ugly either. But maybe you and I, Phoe, live on a different planet.
lollipopspot Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 My best friend is 5'6" and has always been attracted to taller women. He is a pilot... think Top Gun... and struggles more with dating than my unemployed pot head cousin who is 6'. That's funny that this shorter guy is attracted to taller women who apparently won't give him the time of day. What's his problem with shorter (i.e. average) women? Maybe he has the same problem with shorter women that these taller women he's attracted to have with him. What it is, I'm not sure, but they're height obsessed. My guy is 5'6", I'm about 5'6" too, and I'm not unattractive. I've been out with guys up to 6'4" - it doesn't matter.
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 19, 2014 Posted October 19, 2014 You have to remember that most short men do not really want to date very tall women. They want to date women who are short or average. So, most of the men who are being rejected for being too short are being rejected by women shorter than them. And yes, it happens a lot. I actually think a great irony (one of the many) of dating is that tall gawky women and really short guys face some of the same discriminations, and are accordingly humbled, and would be really good together, but it just doesn't work that way.
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